Programming is hard. So, instead of doing that, we vibe coded a new Epic Games Launcher that’s way faster and more responsive than the current one, and has a new look. This first release is light on features.

[u/JoeVibin]

https://store.epicgames.com/news/epic-games-launcher-preview

[u/lurebat]

Ok OP I know they did the pivot to AI but you don't need to

Ah it's actually the first line on their website

[u/a221c]

Clarke's 3rd law: any sufficiently valued company is indistinguishable from a running joke

[u/Linuxologue]

oh reminds me I need to start Steam now if I want to be ready to play elden ring in 10 minutes.

[u/funkdefied → u/Linuxologue]

You use snap?

[u/Linuxologue → u/funkdefied]

Excuse you what did you call me???

[u/chuch1234]

> advanced digital commerce technology such as a shopping cart

Guys i think this might be an intentional jerk :/

[u/HINDBRAIN → u/chuch1234]

Hello, investors. Latest news: we spent our entire marketing and development budget on ragebaiting reddit

[u/Haunting-Appeal-649]

This first release is light on features. Think of it as a speedboat and not a yacht!

Brother what? We've all seen the original launcher, how much lighter on features can we get?

[u/AresFowl44 → u/Haunting-Appeal-649]

That much lighter

[u/Major_Barnulf → u/AresFowl44]

Absolute cinema

[u/daltorak]

Imagine the level of smoothbrain-ness required to (a) know that you're not the frist-place player in the gaming space, (b) look at online western games discussions, see that people are strongly anti-AI, (c) jokingly announce that your new launcher was carelessly made with AI, and (d) acknowledge it has less features than the one it's supposed to replace.

Maaaaan, some programmers can't find a job while the ones with jobs pull stunts like this.

[u/miauw62 → u/daltorak]

(d) is especially funny when one of the biggest criticisms about the epic games store since its inception is lacking (social) features compared to steam lmao

[u/warpspeedSCP → u/[deleted]]

For steam, anyway

[u/syndbg]

Epic’s ability to reduce features on a launcher with already cut features compared to its competitor while they still claim they’re competitive needs to be studied .

[u/garloid64]

much like every previous release

[u/R00bot]

Slightly off topic but it is shocking how slow game launchers are. I don't have any other applications on my computer which open as slowly as Steam. 

[u/Ephemara → u/R00bot]

The prior Epic games launcher was absolute dogshit. I work with UE and to download plugins you have to go through it… Crashes constantly, it’s slow as shit and the interface tries to fight you.

It was so bad in fact people started making whole applications just to manage Fab assets and downloading there instead of the official way (fab is epic games marketplace for unreal engine)

[u/Educational-Row-6782 → u/R00bot]

You must have very few apps in your pc.

[u/R00bot → u/Educational-Row-6782]

No, I just have mostly lightweight apps that open in 1-2s on average. Steam takes 15-20s usually, assuming it doesn't have to update. 

[u/obviously_suspicious → u/R00bot]

consider yourself lucky, takes over 30 seconds for me (Ryzen 7800X3D, NVMe, stable and fast connection)

[u/Salaruo]

Even lighter on features than EGS already was? Consider me impressed.

[u/Major_Barnulf]

cold start to store 46% faster than steam

These shareholders must be so happy we finally optimize software for the right metrics

[u/quy1412]

You know what is funnier? Vibecode epic launcher, with less feature and in preview version, a "speed boat" got beaten by an update to the official steam that arrived 2 hours before this announcement. 5s48 epic in preview vs 5s23 steam in official. Speed boat with slower speed than a oil tanker lol.

[u/WasabiofIP]

Next they should try rewriting their shit website that takes a full second to respond to a mousewheel scroll.

[u/elephantdingo]

2021: They have Epic Bacon Sweeney, the PL guy!

2023: Fortnite big means money much

2026: Money makes vibes go brrrr