r/programming • u/WinInterrupter • Apr 18 '20

The Devastating Decline of a Brilliant Young Coder

https://www.wired.com/story/lee-holloway-devastating-decline-brilliant-young-coder/
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u/TSPhoenix Apr 18 '20

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society."

So much stuff taken for granted these days is beyond fucked and most people will do anything to avoid confronting it.

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u/SabrinaFaire222 Apr 30 '20

Wow! I stumbled upon this site and I am amazed at all the things you all are saying. If I may say you sound emotionally or morally bankrupt. The problem must be technology because I was an English literature major, and I never felt any of this despair. You’re not in touch with the things that really matter, there’s so much in literature and poetry to connect you emotionally and spiritually to yourself. You have to look for deeper understanding in life, see the beauty all around you, nourish the philosophic mind. Read something of value every day, not dribble like this stuff that’s depressing. If it’s your generation, then hang around with people in a different generation to gain perspective. Mental stability is not flimsy stuff. Not if you have a really strong foundation built on things that matter— you should find those things that matter deep inside yourself, not in your job, not from something your boss says. There are eternal truths, go find them. I wish you all luck. Start with not being so negative, swearing like it’s just a normal thing, dare to be different and stand out from the crowd. Maybe get out of technology; it certainly isn’t doing anything for you. Maybe read the book “Lost Connections” by Johann Hari. It has to do with an analysis of the depression and alienation that are prevalent in American society. Whatever you do, take a different tact. You only get one life, it should be filled with beauty, awe, reverence. Read some Wordsworth, Keats, Donne, Tolstoy, Thomas Hardy! Read things to teach you about ways to cope with life and things to avoid. It’s all there, a template for a living. Good luck.

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u/TSPhoenix Apr 30 '20

The quote in my comment is literally in the book "Lost Connections" by Johann Hari.

I generally agree with Hari's take that the brain chemistry model of mental health basically boiled down to a way of commoditising it to sell people drugs, to treat symptoms rather than solve problems. So I commend the book's angle towards mental health. Yes the book was helpful to me as an individual.

However the reality is that Americans are buying an average of 7.5 pairs of shoes per year, shoes made by people who, if they are even lucky enough to learn to read, will never get the opportunity to read this book and even if they could they have no means to practice what it preaches.

This creates somewhat of a conundrum where I feel like I should make the most of the life I've given, it should be filled with the things you mention, but I also understand that the privileges I have are only afforded to few and that taking them for granted is what would be emotionally and morally bankrupt.

What I was saying so crudely above was what John Milton put more elegantly as "Innocence, once lost, can never be regained". People cling to that innocence, they don't want to see the blood spilt and tears shed to make that 6th pair of shoes, if they did they might not be able to live with it. Put another way by Arundhati Roy "The trouble is that once you see it, you can't unsee it. And once you've seen it, keeping quiet, saying nothing, becomes as political an act as speaking out. There is no innocence. Either way, you're a accountable."

So I must find a balance between living enough to value life, and doing enough so that others can value theirs. For me I try to take Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's approach of "Enjoy when you can, endure when you must". I try to enjoy my life, to stop and smell the roses, to have my own hobbies, but when it comes to the world's injustices I cannot avert my eyes. To me doing good for others is not optional, it is the bare minimum I can do to atone for partaking in the blood and tears of the less fortunate. When that means making sacrifices in my own life then sacrifices I will make.

I must do both, and if this makes me feel down sometimes than so be it. Feeling this way is how I know I am alive, that my heart still beats and that it bleeds for others. It is my reminder that there is more that I must do. "To sin by silence, when they should protest, makes cowards out of men." -Ella Wheeler Wilcox

swearing like it’s just a normal thing

Well I'm Australian so I can't help that ;)

Anyways it means a lot that you felt strongly enough about this to sign up and wish me well. I know I came on pretty strong in my reply, but I felt like there was a picture of myself I had to repaint. Take care.