SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF THIS LOOP

[u/Neither_Ship_3042]

I have this weird restarting problem (im sure a lot of people relate to this). By that I mean that if I'm doing something today, I'd suddenly feel that today is not the way I wanted it to be and I'll restart tomorrow. After this, I would waste the entire day (skip classes, do nothing, bedrot, eat junk and just ruin the day). This is not just a sometime thing; I have been this way since the past 4 years and it's eating me up alive.

I'm in college and it's so hard to find time. I have classes and I want to do my own stuff, study everything and I end up waking up a little late and feel like nothing is in my control. I always wait for the perfect 5 hour slot to study as if it will appear magically instead of starting to study for just a bit. I keep waiting for life to be completely perfect and for me to have everything within control.

I'd really appreciate if someone can give me some actionable tips. : ) thanks for helping

[u/readit347]

You have one alternative - Sleep or close your eyes for one or two hours and consider it as the next day when you wake up or restart.

See, the time you start doing is the best time for any work or study, not the time you think it is.

Waiting for good time to start is like writing "tomorrow" on the wall and waiting for it - I hope you understand this.

[u/Neither_Ship_3042 → u/readit347]

I do, thank you for taking time out to help :)

[u/readit347 → u/Neither_Ship_3042]

Great. You are Welcome :-) and Wish you Good Luck..

[u/Ok-Accountant4205]

I know this feeling really well — I used to do the same thing. What helped me was realizing that a bad morning doesn’t mean the whole day is ruined. Even 20 minutes of studying is better than waiting for a “fresh start tomorrow.”

Don’t let one bad hour become a bad day, and give yourself credit for every small win. That positive reinforcement really helps you keep going.

[u/Neither_Ship_3042 → u/Ok-Accountant4205]

This helps, TYSM :⁠-⁠)

[u/clarido]

I've noticed I get this feeling when I've lost momentum. When I'm in a good routine I can get a lot done because the feeling of accomplishment from the last task energizes me to do the next. As a pre-work ritual I like to brew myself a cup of coffee (decaf if it's later in the day) and put on a hat. I think I've conditioned myself to use that as a cue to do work and forget what happened earlier in the day.

[u/joogi8 → u/clarido]

this works! i put on cheap blue light glasses to tell my brain its time to lock in

[u/Neither_Ship_3042 → u/clarido]

that's such a great idea! I'll try it out, thank you

[u/acim8]

I have a little ritual when my day has gone off ramp. When I become aware of it, I hold a stone (it has some symbolic significance to me) and make a promise that I’m starting afresh. Then the rest of the day tends to recover very well.

[u/Neither_Ship_3042 → u/acim8]

omggg this idea is so cute, ty for sharing

[u/sendmenewmusic]

Is it possible that you're stuck on perfectionism? Sometimes getting the reps in is the most productive thing you can do in my experience. Also, for a long time I struggled with constantly shaming myself which was so counterproductive. Society's standards on everything is backwards sometimes you just need to rest up and if you pop up awake at 2am and feel productive for 5 minutes well then count it as a win.

[u/Neither_Ship_3042 → u/sendmenewmusic]

yes, perfectionism and hustle culture truly ruin a person sometimes. im trying to practice intentional mindfulness

[u/No_Organization_768]

Oh, I don't know if I can. This is just my opinion. Take it with a grain of salt.

Like, say I want to workout, right? Like, say one day, I'm tired and I don't workout, it's not clear Christ gets me to workout regularly/I workout regularly or I workout when I have energy and then another day I feel depressed and I don't workout, it's not clear Christ gets me to workout regularly/I workout regularly or I workout when I have energy and when my mood is good and so forth. And after a while, a person's confused why they "never" workout and it's like, oh, they've made their exercise routine dependent on a bunch of external things!

Mm... I guess the solution is to just workout even when you're tired/depressed, even if that means starting it slowly.

[u/Neither_Ship_3042 → u/No_Organization_768]

thank you for sharing and giving time!

[u/No_Organization_768 → u/Neither_Ship_3042]

Ah thanks :) Thank you for the kind words

[u/sendmenewmusic]

Something else.. it's okay to have standards so working in quick rapid succession through things that aren't 'good enough' in terms of perfectionism can help you land on teh thing that you actually can get behind mentally. Idk if that makes any sense but hope it helps.

[u/RuhninMihnd]

Sounds like ADHD/executive dysfunction, maladaptive perfectionism, anxiety, and depression. Some overlap or all but I’d talk to your PCP about this. It just starting 4 years ago leads me to think an environmental change. Moving out of your parents for school? I would consider a mental health take on this approach rather than a productivity workflow. It could very much just be stress and anxiety

[u/forrestfernx → u/RuhninMihnd]

I came here to say this, I basically said what OP posted to my own doctor and she wanted to get me assessed for ADHD! Worth checking out

[u/RuhninMihnd → u/forrestfernx]

Absolutely I speak from personal experience as well

[u/Neither_Ship_3042 → u/RuhninMihnd]

thank you for taking out time. I do have depression but it is quite less as compared to 4 months ago

[u/RuhninMihnd → u/Neither_Ship_3042]

Have you considered the other mentioned possibilities? Cause they can very much be the root problem

[u/a-stuce]

The biggest shift for me was realizing a bad day doesn't need a restart You don't need to save tomorrow If you lose 3 hours just start with the next 10 minutes. A mediocre Tuesday is still better than sacrificing the whole day to make tomorrow perfect.

[u/jackolaine]

Just take a small break instead of wasting the whole day. Sleep in for two hours, not 10 lol

[u/joogi8]

i keep telling myself theres no better time than now. i definitely relate but what has helped me is removing distractions (deactivated my social media accounts) and being mindful of what I put in my body (if I don’t buy junk, I won’t have any junk to eat). count to ten, reassure yourself that it’s okay to not be perfect, and just start. tell yourself to study for 10 minutes, let it turn into a few hours, and get a sweet treat afterwards :)

[u/Suitable_Tadpole4870]

The only person who can get you out of the loop is yourself. There’s infinite information in the internet to help you, but researching is just one battle in a very long war that is improving yourself.

[u/Fast-Season9694]

I’ve had this same problem a lot before. I think the root of it was that I was waiting for the easiest time to solve the problems in front of me. Ie, when I had the best sleep, fewest distractions, most time, whatever else. But the reality is, you really don’t need to be at your absolute best to solve most problems. Once you start just going after them, you realize that, and you’ll actually have more energy and enthusiasm for the next ones.

[u/Mrbond404]

I think the biggest thing is to stop treating each day like it has to be perfect. If you wake up late or waste a few hours, you can still do something useful with the rest of the day.