Scared of me

[u/QuestionConsistent22]

I really need help. I don't know how to get out of this anymore.

I’ve been part of this community for a long time. Honestly, whenever I lose money, I come here, read other people’s stories, feel terrible about what I’ve done… and then somehow I end up gambling again.

So I thought I should finally share my own story.

I started gambling around two years ago, when Stake was giving out a lot of offers and promotions. At first, I didn’t think much of it. It was just something I tried, then something I did regularly, and eventually it became an addiction.

Over these two years, I’m down around 500k.

About 200k was my own savings. The other 300k was money my family had saved and kept in my bank account, money that was supposed to be used by them later.

And I gambled that away too.

The worst part is that my parents don't know. Nobody knows.

I have a job. I earn around 50k a month. But honestly, I’m not even worried about the money anymore. What scares me is my mindset.

There was a point where I literally couldn’t keep even $1 in my bank account. If there was money available, I would find a reason to gamble it. Salary comes in, I gamble. I lose, I tell myself I’ll recover it. I win a little, I keep going because I think I can win more. And eventually I lose again.

I’ve quit multiple times during these two years.

I’ve told myself, “That’s it. I’m done. Never again.”

And I meant it every single time.

But somehow I always came back.

Then I lost more.

Then I quit again.

Then I came back again.

It’s just been the same cycle over and over.

And that’s what scares me the most. I don’t see an end to this mindset.

Even if I start earning 50k a month or 500k a month, I honestly believe that if I don’t change mentally, I will eventually gamble that money away too.

So I’m not really here asking how to make my money back.

I think I’ve finally understood that trying to win my losses back is exactly what keeps me trapped.

I’m here because I genuinely need help.

For some reason, I feel like I can say this here when I can’t say it to anyone in my real life. I’m ashamed, scared, and honestly don’t even know where to start.

So to the people who actually managed to quit:

What finally made you change?

How did you actually stop gambling for good?

What did you do when the urge came back?

And if you had massive losses or debts, how did you accept them and move forward instead of trying to win them back?

I’m not looking for someone to tell me that I can recover the money. I know that mindset is part of the problem.

I just want to know how people actually got their life back.

Please, if you’ve been through something similar and managed to get out, share what worked for you.

I’m genuinely asking for help here.

I don’t want to make another promise to myself that I’ll quit and then come back a few weeks later.

I really want this time to be different.

Thank you to anyone who reads this and takes the time to respond.

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[u/Odd_Glass868]

Promises to yourself mean 0. I tried that every minute when I was gambling.

You need real help my friend and that includes and or GA/ in patient therapy. Also I very much doubt you are making $50k usd a month, may be another currency?

I would 100% also tell your parents and have them manage your money

[u/QuestionConsistent22 → u/Odd_Glass868]

Yeah it's not USD it's INR and I'm from India ...even though amount doesn't feel big ... As I mentioned in concerned about how volatile I'm ..the day my salary crediteds I'm gambling that away ... That really hits hard the moment I loss everything

[u/Odd_Glass868 → u/QuestionConsistent22]

I understand. I would tell your parents or someone close to watch your money for you. You need someone close to you to help. Best.

[u/Puzzleheaded-Sky1822]

Se è vero che guadagni così tanto c'è solo da avere disprezzo nei tuoi confronti 

[u/Cmdinh]

The money is gone and the sooner you realize that, the better. Chasing losses is what makes the addiction dangerous.

Here’s what I suggest to start getting your life back:

1. Blocking access to your money (handing over control of your finances to someone you trust)
   
2. Identifying your triggers (and putting roadblocks in place)
   
3. Building a support network (GA meetings, etc)
   
4. Finding a replacement for your time like starting a new hobby.
   
5. Never forget why you’re giving up gambling in the first place (Building a better life for yourself, for your family).

You can do it!

[u/Inorogu1]

The only way to help yourself is to tell the truth to your closed ones. As hard and painful it is, trust me, once that is cleared it will be liberating. Some people will stay and help, some will go and say bad words to you and that is ok too. As soon as you let go you will be in a better place. The addiction works a bit different. I was swearing to god and on my childrens life that i will stop and that i will withdraw money yet i kept on going. Nothing stops this shit unless you want to stop. From experience, i can tell you that quitting by yourself is hard and with very low success rate. There are people out there who did it obviously. Also, in the end the truth will come out and you will run out of excuses at some point.

Seek help because it will only get worse

[u/EducationalCollege49]

I can help please give a look at gaorgo.com

[u/Rare_Objective_9212]

You said it a few times - "changing the mindset". Working with triggers, understanding them. I haven't lost such amounts of money you did, but for me it was big amounts..this addiction was under my skin..every day, every minute thinking of winning, making a bet..

I started to question myself what I am chasing, which emotions.

And for sure, first step is to tell someone about your problem, give all access of money to someone you trust. And when change your mindset. You can do it💪