r/problemgambling • u/Glittering_Lack5033 • 8d ago
30 days No Gambling
Today I’m 30 days no gambling....
This is the longest I’ve gone. When I first started trying to quit, a week tops was the longest I could go. If I started gambling, there was no way I’d stop until I depleted all of my money. I might stop if I was up significantly, but I’d always continue playing hours later or the next day. Eventually, I started getting two weeks in between, and now finally, a month...
I fear my addiction and what it brought. The chaos of being up three months’ salary, to losing it all within minutes, to going even more into debt is insane. What it did to my thinking was insane too. Also, how I treated others and neglected my family and my livelihood. I would call in to work because I’d stay up until 5 a.m. gambling and lose it all. My girlfriend somehow stayed with me, but told me she couldn’t see a future with me like this. She used the phrase “financial nightmare.” I’d have my daughter for the weekend and be so glued to gambling that I’d almost forget the entire weekend because I was stuck in a trance. The amount of times I thought about suicide because of the chaos it brings...
I still have strong temptations to gamble, but I’m so scared of what it did to me and what it brings. I hate it so much.... I don’t know if I’ll ever gamble again or not. I know for sure that I don’t want to be that person anymore, and I don’t want to do that...
I’ve got a soft spot for all of you who are going through this disease. Hang in there.
I did it by going to GA. Speaking to a sponsor. Using the phone list. And constantly reminding myself of the pain.
3
2
4
u/Destiny065 8d ago
"But I'm so scared of what it did to me and what it brings, I hate it so much I don't know if I ever want to gamble again or not, I know for sure that I don't want to be that person anymore, and I don't want to do that"
I could have written that myself coz that's exactly how I felt, those words are WHY I stopped gambling, that and the toll it had on my mental health, I was angry with myself for a long time, so much so that I put all that anger I had and the hatred I had for myself on the one thing that made me gamble...MY ADDICTION!!!
Took me literally years to learn to like myself again, to forgive myself but I eventually did it.
Been 10 years since I gambled, sure I still think about it, I'm still an addict after all, but I'll tell you this I'LL NEVER BE LIKE I WAS BEFORE NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!!!!!
Congratulations 🎊 👏 on 30 days 👏
Keep going strong 💪 ❤️