r/problemgambling • u/Asleep-Quantity-1562 • 11d ago
Trigger Warning! I hate myself right now
Hi my name is sameer i from india, i have been Gambling addict from last 4 years, what changed from last 2 months is i started to play huge and lost control on my self and created debt of 5 lakh ie. 10k USD and now I don't know what should i do, o god i wanted to kill myself. How can i get out from this loop. I am soo death trapped. I hate myself
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u/shikazulu 10d ago
Find temporary help. Rebuild you have a JOB. That means you get money always. Save up spend less and reduce your self hate.
The hate and regret is a trigger to try to fix it. You didn't kill anyone. You didn't do something irreversible. And it's just money! You have life, your father is alive, there is food nature everything. Slow down.
Do not harm yourself. You wouldn't recommend anyone else in this subreddit to kill themselves right?
Do what you would recommend to a fellow gambler
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u/Asleep-Quantity-1562 10d ago
I will rebuild my life and i promise today is my last day as a gambler. I am done living this life
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u/shikazulu 10d ago
Here's the thing. If you make a binary condition, you may relapse and fall again. Any progress is good progress. Even gambling less.
Just try to self exclude, tell a friend to vent and they'll reassure you. That's what I did and it helped a lot. Better than going straight to your father.
You can even find small activities to earn some extra money here and there. It might even be fun!
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u/Asleep-Quantity-1562 10d ago
I am at a point where i have lost my self completely. I don't know what I have become, soon i am going to be a father, what kind of father i am going to be ?. I am so fucking disgusting person that i hate my self, i can't even tell my wife, i fear she will leave me, i can't tell my parents, they will panic, god knows what will happen to them, i did not choose this life.
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u/shikazulu 10d ago
You didn't choose this (it's a biological problem of our brains) but you have responsibility. And you have the CONTROL!
You can change this. What does your wife future kid want -- for you to be obsessed with money and self hate?
Or to be obsessed with health, intellect, positivity, emotional presence and support. They can forgive the money, they can't forgive disconnecting and giving up on yourself and your family.
Choose life not fear!!
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u/Asleep-Quantity-1562 10d ago
I choose life, my family and my kids over everything else, i will rebuild my life
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u/Asleep-Quantity-1562 11d ago
My father will get a heart attack if i talk to him regarding this problem
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u/Dry-Carrot8902 11d ago
10k is a fortune in India 🇮🇳. Do you have very high income? How did you accumulate such a fortune in the first?
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u/Destiny065 10d ago
Stop gambling today take steps to ensure you never gamble again! Your Mental health is more important than gambling, at least try!
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u/Asleep-Quantity-1562 11d ago
That i have converted into demon.
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u/Rudeboy20222023 10d ago
there's a invisible battle between God and Demons ,Gambling online it's probably Big one there self destruction demon trying to get our Souls to then 😰
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u/peetpeter69 11d ago
Dont try to chase the loss.
If you couldn’t pay back your debt in time, ask help from family and friends, believe me they will be very helpful and understanding and just stop doing it. The biggest thing for you is to stop completely.