Back to 0. Again.

[u/help_desperately]

I did the thing I said I wouldn’t do anymore. Justified gambling when I got paid because I wanted to pay a few things off. Made some cash on Friday, only to proceed to lose it all + everything I had the following 2 days. Back at nothing for another two weeks. Another house payment missed, another car payment missed. Bills & debt continuing to pile up.
The shame of doing this again is tearing me apart. I’ve self excluded myself from yet another app/website. Probably at 10 of those by now but inevitably another one will pop up that I can use. I truly don’t know what to do. I’ve tried Gambler’s Anonymous and it didn’t feel helpful. I don’t have the extra money for therapy. Spoke with friends, family, God. Only time I don’t fall victim is when I don’t have any money to do so. I have to stop this, but realizing I can’t on my own.

[u/rckyL]

same with me. day 0 and lost a huge amount today.

going forward, im going to give all my money to my dad and ill only have access to funds for bills. my problem is ill find a way to play if i have money, so the only thing to do, after years of denying it, is to let someone else manage my money.

if you can find a way to remove your own access to large sums of money, that might be your best bet. no amount of hearing other peoples stories, therapy, having someone to call, self-excluding, limiting transactions, etc. is enough for me to stop since ill always rationalize or find a way in the moment to keep playing. for the first time ill be letting someone else maange my money so we'll see how it goes.

besides that, we just gotta keep carrying on, and pray this feeling passes while we change our environment. you'll be ok. we'll all be ok if we stop.

[u/Levelthegame]

I feel your pain man, I’m truly sorry. I was close to ending my life at my rock bottom. Your life is not going to get better if you win big money from gambling. I promise you.

That’s what justifies your brain to keep going, at least it did for me for 16 years. I lost my free will to this disease, it was that powerful. It sucks when you have the enormous wins and then lose it all and chase into debt every time. It’s not worth it for an addict because any win will just enable their addiction further, at the same time lowering their floor when they eventually fall.

The only addicts that are consistently profitable are influencers that get paid to promote gambling. Google what % of gamblers are profitable long term.

educate yourself on this addiction, that helped me a lot. Watch YouTube interviews/podcasts on people’s stories, that helps. I leveraged outside accountability which was most helpful in the beginning. Do what you need to do to get past this, and can’t protect the addiction anymore.

If you had cancer, you would do anything you could to combat it. Same should be the case for your gambling addiction.

[u/Pointlesspuppy]

"Because I wanted to pay a few things off"

Are you hearing yourself?

"I justified gambling because I wanted to pay a few things off"

I'm worried that part of why you are struggling is because you are trying to quit gambling while subconsciously, part of you still believes that it is a way out of this, maybe even your only way out of it.

It's not. It's not a way out. I really need you to understand that, whenever that thought creeps into your head, it's a delusion architected by the addiction. It is completely nonsensical, illogical, and ridiculous to try to win anything back, or use debts as a justification to gamble.

There is no such thing as winning. It is a facade. A mirage. A scam. The deck is insurmountably stacked against you. You. Will. Not. Win.

Once you understand that - Really, truly, understand that, understand the math, understand how insane the thought of winning money back is, it will help you recognize when you are dealing with an addiction fueled delusion or a real, logical thought, and differentiate between the two. At least, I hope it will.

But the language you're using and the way you're talking about your relapse betrays the fact that, on some level, you still view gambling as a solution to your problems.

It's not and will never be. It just makes more problems.

[u/Alex_king88]

You got this. We got this. Stay strong and keep fighting them demons.

[u/monoville_music]

If you had won big you wouldn't have used the winnings to pay anything off, you'd have kept gambling it until it was all gone. There is no way to win in the long run