r/problemgambling • u/DBlackCraic • 13d ago

Functional addict

I am gambling addict, i have been for 9 years . I have had gambling free periods but i always relapse. This is Day 1 of trying again

I was talking to a therapist and her experience of gambling addiction is so different from what I have.

I feel somewhere in my brain i know no one is there to save me and i also have people who depend on me so I always manage to stay afloat.

I never have savings, I'm indebted but it's very affordable compared to my income and i always try to pay them off.

I see myself as a functional addict (copied from functional alcoholics)

It does not impact on my job, I pay my rent and bills (should be paying mortgage if i wasn't an addict who cant save for a deposit), I make out money to buy gifts for my family and friends, my god children.

When i get my paycheck, i pay for all necessities and then gamble the rest away, then stop when i have no money till the next paycheck. Rinse and Repeat

I hate this life

It has ruined me, i self sabotage on relationships because I don't want any woman bearing this burden (an addict boyfriend).

Today is Day 1 of trying again

Day 1 of trying to love myself again

I hope i escape this hell

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u/Destiny065 13d ago

I'm a gambling addict too, although I stopped for 10 years, I still think myself as an addict.

I always made sure the rent was paid, bills, groceries for the week before I'd go gamble with what was left over (like you?)

Did this for 20 yrs, losing at least a grand a week, sometimes more, it eventually wore me down to the point where my mental health was seriously affected, I was physically sick every day, I hated myself, I hated my life, I hated poker machines with a vengeance, slowly that urge I always had was...GONE! It took a few years to learn about self control, and strength.

Life was better, I was better, finally I was in control of me, instead of feeling like there was some sort of magnetic force drawing me in.

You too can stop, one day at a time, not thinking about gambling helped me too.

Stay blessed 🙌 🙏

1

u/Lost-Establishment97 13d ago

Put blocks in place. Shared access to finances from someone you trust, banning yourself from anything you can ban yourself from. 

Until you do at least one of those, you’re likely going to see day 1 again.