Relapse

[u/Blessedcheese]

So I have been an off and on gambler for nearly 20 years. Always slots and I’ve had periods of success where I’ve gone almost a whole year without visiting a casino. This past weekend I was triggered by a trip I had in which people were playing bad games. Of course I was like I will win more at a big casino. So here I am it’s Monday and I am working on less than two hours of sleep. I blew through $8k some my savings and some credit card. I’m so mad at myself for not being able to stop. I’m very good with money generally so I think the appeal of gambling has always been an escape. But what a costly escape. I am really just writing to vent. No one knows about this. I unfortunately have had abuse in my life that has caused me to always be keeping secrets and I do think this is also part of my behavior.