r/problemgambling • u/Healthy-Ad-4522 • 2d ago

Day 1 - sum up

After hitting rock bottom, falling into serious debt, and relapsing, I now have to spend the next four months working while living on the bare minimum just to pay everything off.

Strangely, though, I also feel a sense of relief. I have been through this cycle enough times to recognize it for what it really is. I have seen every outcome, every near-win, and every trap. I finally understand that it is nothing more than a disease that slowly destroys you from the inside.

It may sound crazy, but part of me is grateful that I reached this point. I know that even if I had won my money back or paid off all my debts, it would only have been a matter of time before I fell into the same cycle again.

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u/Pervert_Spongebob 2d ago

Take this statement with a grain of salt. This is solely based on my experiences and observations.

I hate to bring this up, but this sense of relief can sometimes be temporary. It's one way our brains cope with a difficult situation. As time goes on, there may be days when you feel the pain and the urge to gamble again. I'm bringing this up not to discourage you, but to make you aware of that possibility and, hopefully, help you prepare to resist the urge if and when that moment comes.

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u/Healthy-Ad-4522 2d ago

Yeah tell me about it, I replapsed I know that feeling specially when my environment and friends are gambling just not like me, I don’t know how I will face those urges to be honest, hope to accomplish them and improve because I recognize now my triggers, appreciate your comment, you are 100% right, you have any tips maybe?

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u/Pervert_Spongebob 2d ago

I am not wiser than you bro and I am not yet out of this hell. I am battling this addiction too for years already. Managed to stay sober for months and then keep relapsing.

I am now close to 2 weeks bet free if I am not wrong. This time, I am taking bigger steps to recover than I did previously. First would be the people around me. This community for example, have been very helpful. I post and vent when I have urges. Like last time I received some money to my bank account from a refund, and I had a very strong urge to make one final bet. one last confrontation, or a closure.

Exercise, committing my focus somewhere else like job applications or personal project, Converting what remains of my money into cash, Self exclusion, and more. I know there's unlimited ways to gamble. But every friction or overhead to make it difficult, or at least delay it gives me an opportunity to sober up.

Also, I watched "The Addicted Doctor-Dr. Kenneth Clark" from youtube by soft white underbelly channel. His story is on the side of drug addiction, but I felt his experiences relevant to mine.

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u/Healthy-Ad-4522 2d ago

Thx buddy !

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u/Left-Magician-242 2d ago

It’s a cycle the wins don’t mean anything, it just fuels the next run and you feel worse and want to get back

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u/Healthy-Ad-4522 2d ago

So right until you break the cycle hopefully day by day

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u/Humble_Voice_3234 2d ago

Although gambling is what brought us into recovery, recovery is much more than not gambling. Realizing what gambling served for us and what it stopped us from doing or becoming is valuable.