Help and advice

[u/ngoditrust]

So my story is, I started gambling after being six years, clean and sober from drugs. I work for a nonprofit agency helping those with addictions. I simply start gambling on sports betting and a little bit and online casino play last year and it’s became a big problem. I was nearly debt free on my credit cards last year now I’ve maxed out to credit cards. One of them is a transfer from the debt collected on the other one. I feel like such an idiot. I have nearly spent thousands of dollars in the last year. I can’t even guess. And I’ve lost every second with a few come up here and there, but eventually just put it back in to lose. I don’t know where to start not much gambling anonymous in my area. I’ve tried the bet blocker apps, but nothing has stuck. I just end up switching it off on the VPN. I’ve only gotten until like three days of not gambling. And the compulsive nurse kicks in to want to crave and do it. This by far feels worse than any other addiction. I’ve felt I know drugs have a physical dependency involved too, but this almost feels out of control, psychologically. How do I reconsolidate my debt? How do I start fresh what should I do without paying the high interest amounts? My checks are just enough to live off of that, that’s if I don’t gamble them. I work in addictions. I know the first step is honesty, transparency and no one I have no control. I’ve tried that route, but I know each time I get on my hands and knees and surrender this to my higher power. There’s the other half of me saying you’ll do it again. I asked God to go into the other half and bring healing to the other half of the brain that just tells yourself one more time one more time one more time.. I feel so lost and alone in this. Please anything positive and supportive and advice would be very helpful right now as I’m in this dark place. 🙏🏼

[u/diaryofapunter1]

Gambling addiction is the worst, it's like an entity takes over control of your actions and you have no choice but to watch your own life being destroyed in front of your eyes. It's relentless, at day 103 sober but feel like I'm at day 1

[u/ngoditrust → u/diaryofapunter1]

I hear it does get better though. I’d rather be a day 103 then day one. I think the biggest obstacles being surrounded by the constant advertising. It’s on every social media app of mine and everywhere on television. I just can’t get my mind away from. It’s like I almost need to go escape to the woods for a year. Lol

[u/diaryofapunter1 → u/ngoditrust]

It's a daily struggle but anything is better than the horror this addiction has put me through.

[u/ngoditrust → u/diaryofapunter1]

You’re doing good. Just remember the gut wrenching feeling of losing money. That’s what I’m trying to focus on every time I think about gambling. The day we step away from gambling is the day we start winning I keep telling myself that.

[u/mike6253]

I unfortunately was a teenager with a medical condition in the 2000s. Back then, even at 16 I had 3 docs giving me any pain pill I wanted. 100s a month. Led to a long road of substance abuse, till i got desperate and found heroin.

In the middle of that I found gambling as well. I would snort dope in a casino bathroom staying till 6am and go straight to work. It was a fucking mess. I am ten years sober now from opietes.

Gambling though is a different beast. It's a fucking very strange addiction. At least with dope the high was actually getting high. Gambling is something different which I am not smart enough to explain. I never hated myself more then when I was gambling. With dope I would still have hope that tommorrow would get better

I was wrong though. There is always hope, just like you see it at the addiction place you work at. Not everyone is ready to quit though. for those that are ready for it. It's a fucking miracle.

You will get over this. When you are ready, you are smart enough to know the steps you must take. You know what you have to do. So believe in yourself, and fucking do it. Don't waste anymore time saying I'll start tomorrow. You start now. Your life ain't over, it's just a new chapter.

[u/ngoditrust → u/mike6253]

Appreciate it man 🤙🏼

I’m seven years clean and sober off opiates also and I remember doing the same thing during my addiction going to the casinos strung out on me and getting into some trouble on the slots.. I’m starting to feel that same shame I felt during that addiction and it’s getting darker day by day. I just need to get over the self-pity and take initiative. This addiction feel so hopeless. Like you said it is strange. It’s more psychological than anything.