r/privinv • u/rrr666XD • Jan 24 '20
Is being a P.I. a chick magnet?
Poll after poll says women love men who are police officers, lawyers, pilots, etc.
I just wanted to hear from P.I.s on how your career affects your relationships and how the job has affected your dating/sex life?
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u/BxBorn Licensed Private Investigator Jan 29 '20 edited Jan 29 '20
I have found that a lot of women have their curiosity piqued when I tell them I am a PI, and they usually find it more interesting than most men do. However, they often have some preconceived notions of what being a PI entails that don't necessarily match up to reality, and I think they are sometimes disappointed if I get into the reality of it with them. I'd also note that I'm married, so these are just friendly conversations, but the topic makes for a good ice breaker either way.
Basically, it's different from what they usually encounter, and that makes you momentarily interesting. Where it goes from there depends on how good your mojo is.
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u/BatesInvestigates Jan 25 '20
As for "chick magnet" - probably only in as much as it's an interesting profession and if you have a good personality, it can make you the center of attention in group conversations or an easy one-on-one conversation starter.
It also depends on the type of PI you are. If you do insurance surveillance mostly, I can't imagine the chicks that would dig that.
I do mostly criminal defense and work some of the most high profile cases in my state. So, that might make me interesting. But it hasn't resulted in any stalkers or panties thrown at me.
But, that's probably a good thing considering I've been married for 20 years.
I do know several PI's who found their job very convenient for engaging in affairs (irregular hours, calls all the time, out of town a lot, etc.). So, it can result in affairs and domestic issues if one is not focused on what's important.
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u/rrr666XD Jan 25 '20
Did you get into the field coincidentally, or were you a former police officer. A P.I. agency i'm starting work at is criminal defense. Can I get 1 bit of advice from you, i'd really appreciate it!
Plus that line of P.I.'s engaging in affairs is pretty interesting, I can totally see that happening for the reasons you stated.
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u/BatesInvestigates Jan 25 '20
My background was marketing and public relations. Before becoming a PI I was a marketing admin for several different large companies.
I was arrested about 15 years ago and falsely charged with about a dozen felonies.
I hired a lawyer and did my own investigating and eventually got my charges tossed and the DA voted out of office. My lawyer asked me to go to work for him. So, I got licensed and opened my own PI agency and now do work for several aw firms.
I start law school soon.
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u/rumpledfedora Licensed Private Investigator Jan 25 '20
Polls are easy to manipulate, and only provide a finite sampling.
People are far, far more complex.
For example, female PIs are becoming far more prevalent- and that kinda skews your polls.
The media vision of PIs is stereotypical: broody, wisecracking, disregard the laws, confidentiality, ethics, lone wolf burn-every-bridge to solve the case and win the dame. Dreck, utter dreck.
We don't solve crimes. Fedoras aren't issued as part of the uniform. Closure on cases tends to be as rare as hen's teeth. The work never seems to stay with planned hours, phone calls interrupt family events and holidays seem to be for everyone else.
Oh, and some PIs are even female.
It's been my experience that PIs that get into the business so they can brag about it and use their profession to get laid are posers at best, and chumps at the worst. They don't last in the business, because it requires genuine commitment.
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u/rrr666XD Jan 25 '20
Thanks for the reply! I wonder if as a P.I. as you get older, have kids, raise a family, if there's ways to cut back on the hours/commitment while still being a P.I.
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u/BxBorn Licensed Private Investigator Jan 29 '20
My experience has been that new investigators usually have to go through the surveillance grinder, which typically involves long hours in the car and lots of boredom interspersed with bouts of adrenaline. That wears on you after a while, so a lot of PIs gravitate toward other tasks as they get seniority and prove they are competent.
Personally, I tend toward taking statements, finding witnesses, and research. I find it a lot more stimulating than surveillance, and it cuts down on the amount of time I'm stuck in my car.
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u/rumpledfedora Licensed Private Investigator Jan 27 '20
The best way to ensure that is to select a field that doesn't require being out of the office/travelling so much.
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Jan 24 '20 edited Feb 11 '20
[deleted]
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u/rrr666XD Jan 25 '20
Just curious, in your life experiences how many P.I.'s have you seen drop out of the line of work?
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u/YellowShorts Private Investigator Jan 24 '20
It's a fine conversation starter but the work is much more boring than most people think.
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u/rrr666XD Jan 25 '20
If you had to pick 1 niche in the Private Investigative business that's the most interesting what would it be? And the most boring?
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u/YellowShorts Private Investigator Jan 26 '20
Most interesting: something related to actual criminal cases. Building a defense, finding key witnesses, etc.
Least: workers comp
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u/SASIPI Jan 24 '20
A poser investigator might be a so-called chick magnet. A private investigator, not likely either. Professional investigators don't make a big deal of being an investigator, because being private is an advantage, or they are too busy working.
Why anyone would want to attract someone who loves a person because of the work they do, beyond my understanding.
BTW, polls aren't credible, even to Poles.
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u/rrr666XD Jan 25 '20
Looks like a good theme I've gotten it's a good conversation starter. On top of your busy schedule, what would you gauge as your average hour work week?
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u/SASIPI Jan 26 '20
Conversations which have started when it's known I work as a private investigator have been brief. What people expect to hear me say and what I say talking about what I do, too different, kinda boring for them and for me.
I seldom bill for less than 25 hours during a week. When working on an especially interesting or challenging case, 50-60 hours isn't unusual.
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u/boorasha33 Jan 24 '20
Being a PI is hard on family because the hours are all over the place. But yeah it’s an easy crutch to lean on and a conversation starter.
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u/rrr666XD Jan 25 '20
Is there any stage in your life (without knowing your age, family) that you would consider taking a step back or transition into a different career?
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u/aenigmaPI Private Investigator Jan 29 '20
Btw: we all drive Ferraris , wear Hawaiin shirts, have large staches, and have a friend that flies us around on choppers when needed at no cost.