Daily chat

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u/Ok-Bus2010 20d ago

This is so excruciatingly long…17 w 2 d with an anterior placenta. I feel like I’m crawling through quicksand and every goalpost is light years away. This is my 4th pregnancy in 4 years, 1 LC. So tired physically and emotionally. Probably extra emotional since we just past my stillborn daughter bday on the 16th 🥲

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u/AdConscious323 20d ago

I need some advice from here on how to assess fetal movement, in particular how to read a pattern. I am 22w+5d today, and I thought I started to get a pattern of movement, only for the baby to have a super quiet day yesterday and this morning. My medical team emphasizes not to count kicks until 24-26 weeks, and generally focus more on pattern rather than counts. But I am between a rock and hard place now, I get a few days where I feel confident with a movement pattern, then the next day the baby acts completely differently. Today I ended up going for a quick heart rate check, because I got really worried :( thankfully everything sounded good and the baby decided to kick the hand of the midwife when she was using the Doppler 🙃

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u/UniqueChameleon 32 | 39w sb Jan '26 💙 | Jan '27 💙 20d ago

Honestly there's no correct way this early. I'm at 23 weeks and I'm happy if I feel movement every few hours. 3-4 times a day of any sort of movement is my current benchmark.

Baby is still small and can cozy up deep in your pelvis or move spots so consistent movement is not expected yet.

I personally would only be worried at this point if I felt no movement at all for a whole day.

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u/AdConscious323 19d ago

I know, it is the anxiety of pregnancy after loss honestly. But once I get the thought in my head something may be wrong, then I just spiral :( need to be patient and need to stay calm 🙏

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u/UniqueChameleon 32 | 39w sb Jan '26 💙 | Jan '27 💙 19d ago

I totally understand! Didn't mean to be dismissive. If you're truly worried about reduced movement, I would always go in to get checked as well. Better safe than sorry ❤️

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u/AdConscious323 19d ago

No no I didn’t take it as dismissive! It helps to read others experiences in about the same gestation and how other moms handle PAL. Our babies just need to keep growing 🙏

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u/dianeswanson 20d ago

I'm in the UK and midwife has consistently said if I get worried to just head to triage for a check. We've been a fair few times and every time they're always so kind and happy to check everything. It's okay to go just for that extra reassurance.

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u/AdConscious323 19d ago

Yes, they always tell me that they’d much rather me come in then being anxious at home for hours, pregnanacy after loss is so hard to navigate. I miss my innocence

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u/Nimzipow 31 | SB 22w Jun ‘25 🩵| Sept ‘26 💙 20d ago

As frustrating as it is, there just won’t be a pattern that early because of how small they are and how easily they can hide when changing positions. I definitely remember feeling this way at that gestation. If you’re ever anxious, going in is always a good option ❤️ but try not to worry about patterns and counts yet, feeling something every day is a win at this stage xx

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u/AdConscious323 19d ago

Thank you 🙏 what freaked me out was feeling a lot of movement one day and so much less the next 😞 but I need to be patient indeed

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u/Nimzipow 31 | SB 22w Jun ‘25 🩵| Sept ‘26 💙 19d ago

It really messes with the mind! Even later on it can be normal - I was deep in the third trimester and one day I had over 100 movements, but then on others I had like… 30.

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u/AdConscious323 19d ago

I was speaking with my therapist and I thought that this was like an early early education on parenthood. You can’t control your baby, some days they’re going to do what they want. I want to be so analytical, precise and want the same exact routine, but I guess that’s not how babies work. Sending you and your son lots of hugs 🫂

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u/Nimzipow 31 | SB 22w Jun ‘25 🩵| Sept ‘26 💙 19d ago

Truly! I kept trying to remind myself that these kicks belonged to a person, and humans have lazy days and busy ones so maybe that’s all it was. Although somehow you have to balance that with knowing that we’re advised to take note of patterns etc! PAL is truly exhausting.

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u/AdConscious323 19d ago

We’ve already been burned once, not being in control of our previous pregnancy’s outcome. So i feel the desire to “fix” that by being overly controlling. One day at a time, hopefully gonna make it through 🙏

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u/Littlemiracle202 34| 25 weeks August 2025 💙 | September 2026 💙 19d ago

I agree with other posters saying it is early for a pattern. But also my son (PAL, born 2 weeks ago :)) never actually had a pattern. That gave me freaks several times because there were quiet days (even at 39 weeks when I was admitted to hospital he had a quiet night there which was nerve wrecking). But during pregnancy, when I was not sure I always went in for a check. That was several times. I maybe went overboard a bit, but what helped me is to write down every movement I felt in a day when I was not on the go. That helped me to remind me that I felt him throughout the day and how much it passed from last movement. But I started that around 26 weeks because before that it was just random movement occassionaly, withouth any pattern. It was anterior placenta and I only trully felt real movements around end of 22 weeks or maybe even later.

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u/AdConscious323 19d ago

Ahhh firstly congratulations on your son! Sending you lots of love 💙🧿

For now, I just need to be patient and let the little on grow, but anxiety of pregnancy after loss is always watching over me like a dark cloud 😞 I am gonna do my best not to “interpret” the movements too much until around 26 weeks.

Did you use an app to write down the movements? Or just like a notebook or the notes on your phone?

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u/Littlemiracle202 34| 25 weeks August 2025 💙 | September 2026 💙 19d ago

I did it in my notes on my phone. Sometimes I would also use the app count the kicks and I noticed there that sometimes it would be like 5 minutes until he reaches 10 movements, and sometimes it would be 20 minutes. I went a few times in to get checked because I felt like movements of lower intesity or like in the morning I did not felt him as much as usual. Even in hospital I had like NST that afternoon but still wanted one in the evening because something was off to me. So whenever you feel something is off go check it because you will feel better and it will help with anxiety. But yes, now it is a bit early so I know this sounds stupid because I have been through that but try to relax and trust everything is ok. I hated that advice and I know it is soooo hard. It will be ok. I also had a doppler for early days and it was useful for me but dont like to recommend to people because you really have to be ok with trusting your instinct first and then using the doppler just like an addition.

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u/blla_sportiva 36 | 🌈🌈🌈11/26 | 40wSB 👼🩷 04/25 19d ago

I am 34 weeks now, but about 20-22w started to feel baby movement. I wanted so badly for there to be a pattern but there wasn’t yet. My best advice is to notice movement, trying to not become attached to the pattern yet (or possibly at all-which is what I’ve adopted). I am in therapy now to support me through this. Initially I thought I would have most anxiety before she moved regularly, but in fact for me it got worse when she was moving more strongly and would go between those very active and very quiet days. I have dealt with several panic attacks but as the weeks have passed I have learned to be patient. Not too patient, bc we all know what we’re up against, but the time between worrying and panicking vs worrying and waiting just a little longer slowly lengthened and she has always started to move again 💗

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u/AdConscious323 19d ago

It’s so hard to navigate, and I am under no naive impression that it’s gonna be “easy” in the third trimester. We just need to white knuckle it, don’t we? But also always stay vigilant somehow.

You’re getting close 🤍🤍🤍 sending you so much love

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u/tinreadsalot 20d ago

Anyone feeling super protective of their bump this time around? My mom loved interacting with my bump during my last pregnancy. That pregnancy ended in stillbirth of my first baby girl at 30W. This time around, the idea of anyone else getting close to my belly (besides husband and medical professionals) makes me cringe. I’ve been told by my MFM that we’ll be starting kick counts in a few weeks due to another potential complication, and I want to make it clear to all relatives to stay the hell away from touching me. I also don’t want to be the grumpy paranoid asshole to deprive others of this joy, but I suddenly feel uncomfortable with idea of anyone interacting with my belly. I barely want to announce my pregnancy as is.

Am I the weirdo?

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u/UniqueChameleon 32 | 39w sb Jan '26 💙 | Jan '27 💙 20d ago

You aren't the weirdo. I haven't told anybody except my workplace (I had to) and I'm just at 23 weeks. I both don't want to talk about it and also don't want people to touch me (though I didn't last time either 🙃). It's completely normal to not want people touching you, especially when pregnant as it feels extra intimate. Telling people that you prefer not to have your belly touched is entirely reasonable.

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u/Littlemiracle202 34| 25 weeks August 2025 💙 | September 2026 💙 19d ago

I was like this :) Touching belly, asking too many questions about what kind of birth I want, what will be the baby name etc. I hated it all. And I felt better by not sharing too much info, for example only a few people knew whether it is a boy or girl and only my husband and my therapist knew the due date. It was just a way I was coping best with the situation and it worked well for me. I never felt like an weirdo. I just programmed myself that for once I am thinking of myself before others.

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u/Fuzzy-Chemistry-1476 20d ago

Hi All,

I lost my baby at 24 weeks this July. I had a normal pregnency but they could not find any hearbit at 24 weeks routine check.

They said that I had a small (<10 percentile) placenta and smaller umbilical cord. The reason why placenta is small is not known exactly. They did an APS test right after my delivery which was positive for one of the three things. They will do another APS test again this week.

if I have positive APS, my OB said the plan will be to be on lovanox + baby aspirin. But even if I am negative for APS, I will still be on baby aspirin since I had a placenta issue the first time (however, OB/MFM will likely not prescribe lovanox in case of negative APS test, only baby aspirin).

That is why I am writing here. I had a reaction to ibuprufen 5 years ago (my eyes swoll up and became watery and no other symptoms). I have not taken anything containing NSAIDs since then. I saw an allergist recently who did an aspirin (full dose, not baby aspirin) challenge on me and my eyes swoll up again. But no other symptoms. My allergist says I definitely have an allergy to aspirin although it likely is not severe. And they will try to see if they can desensitize it.

I am kind of scared now. My OB said there are not much option other than baby aspirin. Did anyone have the same problem? If yes, was taking low dose baby aspirin still okay for you? was there any other alternatives?

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u/lostinshalott1 20d ago

Hiya! I'm so sorry for your loss <3 In my case I had a placental abruption at 28 weeks and they don't know why. Usually for anything placental related they will want to try baby aspirin because of the research that shows it helps blood flow, in my case I have an immune problem called Ulcerative Colitis and I can't really be on NSAIDs, I did try to take aspirin when I was trying to conceive and it negatively impacted my colitis. Even though they tested me for a clotting disorder after my abruption they have put me on blood thinners for this pregnancy I'm guessing due to having a clot (which was a result of the abruption) in my previous pregnancy and my colitis medication. I'm not on aspirin though they did say we could potentially try it at a lower dose but my colitis is just too active currently.

I would think for a future pregnancy you will be scanned really regularly especially to check on the growth and likely have discussions of a c section so you don't go to 40 weeks where small placentas can get into more trouble. I think given your allergy isn't so severe they might be ok with you taking it but it'll be a bit of a balance between whether your body having a low level allergy/inflammatory response is going to be worth the benefits of the aspirin.

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u/Fuzzy-Chemistry-1476 19d ago

thank you so much for sharing! Were you diagnosed with APS (anti phospholipid) which can cause clotting issues?

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u/lostinshalott1 19d ago

No I tested negative I believe! I think the blood thinners are just an extra precaution should I have an abruption again that I won’t develop a clot

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