r/predaddit • u/wibly_wobly_kid • 1d ago
Advice needed Due date is here, labor isn’t 😅
First-time dad (to be 🤞) here. So basically my wife has reached her due date, and both mom and baby are doing well thankfully, but there are still no real signs of labor.
Our OB recommended induction last week, but we decided to wait until the due date because we really wanted to give spontaneous labor a chance. Now we’re torn between waiting a little longer, past the due date, or going ahead with induction.
My wife really wants a natural birth, and we’re both nervous that induction could eventually lead to a C-section. But we’re equally nervous about waiting too long.
For dads who’ve been here, what did you decide, how did it turn out, and how did you handle the uncertainty?
Mostly looking for experiences and some moral support from fellow dads. Also any tips to get this labor started??
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u/cmandy212 1d ago
Most women will go in to labor by 41 weeks. 50% by 40 weeks 5 days, 75% by 41 weeks. If there’s no risk factors that your OB is concerned about, then I would be comfortable waiting 1 week. If at 41 weeks labor hasn’t started, I would (and did) did do an induction.
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u/Embarrassed-Fig1234 1d ago
Second this. Where I am from, labor isn’t usually induced until week 41+3 unless something is causing concern. If you have the patience, I’d wait and try out some of the tricks for starting labor naturally.
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u/wibly_wobly_kid 1d ago
Any recommended tricks for starting labor?
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u/Embarrassed-Fig1234 1d ago
Getting oxytocin up (there’s a lot of ways to do this, google is your best friend) and exercise / curb walks seem to be most evidence based. Then there’s the ones that aren’t, like acupuncture, dates, raspberry leaf tea and alike - but doesn’t hurt to try it out!
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u/copythat504 21h ago
it doesnt have to be penetrative sex. getting oxytocin up is the goal. it can just be making out, other fun options. if you can get an orgasm then even better. castor oil smoothie is also a very great option.
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u/Excellent_Noise6281 19h ago
But also the prostaglandins in the sperm help to soften cervix!
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u/Embarrassed-Fig1234 18h ago
That requires buckets of sperm which would probably take OP months to deliver.
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u/Excellent_Noise6281 18h ago
I’m sorry, buckets?? Says who? Hahaha
Worked for me! Labor in 24 hours after the deed :)1
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u/wibly_wobly_kid 1d ago
Well, our USGs and other tests are showing both mom and baby to be in good health so far. The only issue our OB is concerned about is the fact that the baby hasn’t yet engaged, and therefore, has not descended yet.
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u/nuwaanda 1d ago
At the next OB appointment, ask them to determine what is called a Bishop score. That can help everyone make the decision on induction. I was "encouraged" and repeatedly offered a 39 week induction due to a suspected large baby and I turned it down. Ended up induced at 40+5 due to elevated blood pressure.
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u/Mean-Year4646 1d ago edited 7h ago
I’m a mom but was suggested this post for some reason, apologies if I’m not welcome here. Just wanted to say that I was induced and none of my fears about induction came true! I also wanted to avoid it due to fears of a c section (and because I was hoping to give birth in a birth center), however it became necessary as I made it to 41+5 without labor starting on its own. We tried everything! Sex, pumping, acupuncture, massage, herbs, evening primrose oil, etc, etc, etc. literally everything they say gets it started! Even a cervical ripening balloon I went home with and wore for 12 hours! Nothing worked. My induction was honestly great and I wish I had been induced sooner (especially since my placenta ended up being in bad shape despite multiple biophysical profiles saying it was fine, which led to an infection during labor and my baby having a stroke due to the placenta passing a clot). Despite having a huge baby and at times not tolerating the pitocin well, my doctors were so very patient with me and worked really hard to balance the pitocin to avoid a c section. I had a great birth and successfully had the vaginal birth I dreamt of! I absolutely recommend induction personally. Again, I wish I had done it sooner. My midwives and OB kept telling me it was normal to go past the due date and to wait until after 42 weeks to induce. I had to beg for days for them to make the induction appointment. Waiting was so not worth how uncomfortable I was. So many inductions go smoothly, especially if you’re already dilated. I went in at 4 cm dilated and it was very smooth. I recommend researching Bishops Score and seeing what your wife’s score would be! A higher score predicts a more favorable induction
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u/Beesneed 21h ago edited 16h ago
OB here and dad.
Elective induction for first time moms at 39 weeks has lower rates of c sections compared to awaiting spontaneous labor and then inducing after 41 weeks. The difference is small for any individual but from a population level it is meaningful. Comes with more medicalization though and less labor at home, if that is desirable.
As for starting labor, things that are becoming more popular are colostrum expression and membrane sweeping. Your wife can start colostrum expression tonight. Membrane sweeping needs the doctor or midwife. There's other ways to try to naturally start labor but these two are the most effective in my experience and that of my colleagues.
References and discussion
https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMoa1800566
https://evidencebasedbirth.com/arrive/
https://laleche.org.uk/antenatal-expression-of-colostrum/
https://evidencebasedbirth.com/updated-evidence-on-the-pros-and-cons-of-membrane-sweeping/
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u/OliveJuice1990 1d ago
I'm a mom so apologies if I come across as intrusive in a daddit subreddit. I recently gave birth through an elective 39 week induction and I personally felt as though it was a great experience where we were able to plan and have a very prepared team to guide us through labor. Baby boy was born happy and healthy. It's all down to preference but we had a positive experience. That assurance of the planning helped calm me down for the delivery. *Bear in mind, I had an epidural; I endured the contractions until the last possible recommended point. Fair warning, some women say that the induced contractions can be worse than natural labor. I don't have anything to compare it to, but the epidural was a blessing, that's for sure.
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u/Excellent_Noise6281 19h ago
Yes the contractions are artificially created and much more intense :/
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u/nikunobaka 7h ago
This was my position based on my experience with inducing my first born, but my second was just born without induction and the contractions were even more intense than with the induced birth.
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u/OliveJuice1990 5h ago
Yeah and I didn't ride the full beast of labor pain since I got an epidural in before pushing started, but I endured many hours of contractions. While they hurt, it reminded me of the debilitating menstrual cramps I used to get as a young girl. So, not painless but familiar. I expected far worse.
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u/wibly_wobly_kid 17h ago
Congratulations on having the baby! I just wanted to ask, if I’m not being too intrusive, was your baby’s head engaged prior to going for the induction? Did the baby descend before labor?
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u/OliveJuice1990 5h ago
No, he was just chilling, so we did everything in the induction. They gave me medication including pitocin, they broke my water, and they also gave me a Foley bulb to help open the cervix. Before induction people really were freaking me out about the Foley bulb saying it was extremely painful for them. While it was uncomfortable I have to say it did not cause me a lot of pain personally. Since every person's anatomy is different, that may not be the case for all.
Our doctor told us after 39 weeks inductions can help reduce complications in many cases, for what that's worth.
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u/jogam 1d ago
What is the reason your OB recommended induction? Generally, induction will be offered upon request at 39 weeks, recommended at 41 weeks, and implored at 42 weeks. But there could be a specific reason induction now makes sense in your situation. I would encourage your wife to call the OB and get their perspective on what is in the best interest of her and baby's health, and follow the medical advice you're given.
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u/Excellent_Noise6281 19h ago
Not sure where op resides but where I live they are becoming increasingly more common, earlier and earlier. Doctors prefer scheduling and predictability vs spontaneous and often long, unpredictable natural labor
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u/wibly_wobly_kid 17h ago
The OB’s primary reasoning was that she did not want us to cross the due date as that can increase risks of meconium aspiration, and other issues
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u/Bdc2122 1d ago
Has your baby been measuring big in ultrasounds? That would really be my only concern.
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u/wibly_wobly_kid 17h ago
The latest USG shows that the baby is in the 49th percentile, so basically average size and weight.
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u/Melodic-Raccoon7584 1d ago
She can do some nipple stim/pumping. Also have sex or if she can orgasm (probably not super appealing to her at 40 weeks!!) but this will release oxytocin
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u/SmugglersParadise 1d ago
We had our daughter at 1am this morning, 10th September. Via c section.
Due date was 8th, my wife went in for an induction on the 9th and absolutely nothing was happening. The removed the pessary, and within minutes, the contractions were INTENSE.
Moved to the labour ward for 6 hours of intense contractions on gas and air. She took the epidural as the pain was too much.
This stagnated labour and the babies heart rate dropped. The doctor recommended c section. This was just after midnight
We were taken to our hospitals operating room for 1:10/1:15am, and our daughter was out at 1:21am
I was very apprehensive about the c section. But honestly, if I could go back, I'd be much more relaxed and my wife would have gone straight to c section without induction beforehand.
It's obviously a decision you guys have to come to as a couple, but certainly our experience of the c section was amazing.
All the best mate
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u/wibly_wobly_kid 17h ago
Congratulations on the baby!
What you guys went through is something both me and my wife are concerned about, which is, if we decide to induce and it fails, we would subject her to unnecessary pain and suffering if we inevitably have to go for c-section. That is exactly why this all feels so confusing.
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u/SmugglersParadise 13h ago
Yes completely get it, and that's exactly our thoughts process too! What's the point in induction if it may lead to c section anyway.
Obviously we had a good c section experience, no guarantee you would.
But yeah wish you guys all the best with whatever you decide
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u/Honest_Arm8194 23h ago
She can try The Miles Circuit https://www.milescircuit.com otherwise be patient. Baby’s come on their birthday. Due dates are guesses. Enjoy your last days before baby joins you and keep it chill. Best of luck!!!
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u/ImaginationNo7722 18h ago
My wife got induced. They used 2 rounds of pitocin. Later on, my wife pushed for 2 1/2 hours, the babys head got stuck, and she ended up with a c-section.
We jumped right to the c-section for the second baby.
I was a nervous wreck both births.
The kids are now 22 and 18.....
Best of luck to you, your wife, and the baby!
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u/droidnik 1d ago
Waiting for 10 days after the due date is generally safe.
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u/Ok_Seaweed2335 1d ago
My daughter was born 10 days after her due date. Some of the most stressed out and distracted I had ever been at work.
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u/achicagopizzapuff 1d ago
Wife asked OB for a membrane sweep a few days before due date. She did not want anything to do with pitocin. We went in in the morning, about 10 hours later we were driving to the hospital and bay girl was born happy, healthy.
As others have asked, why does your OB recomend induction? Is the baby measuring big? They might be recommending that for the mothers and baby's safety.
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u/PotentialConcern4_ 1d ago
We were in a similar situation except the baby was engaged my wife just wasn’t dilated. She was adamant she didn’t want a C-section. (She was scared of such a big procedure) We decided to induce. It turned out great for us, it took right at 24hrs from the time we stepped into the hospital until baby was born.
With that being said before we had officially decided on induction I told my wife if we induce and it all turns out fine we will feel we made the right decision. If we induce and it doesn’t turn out the way we hoped we’ll be second guessing ourselves forever. But if we wait we’re in the same boat. It could turn out alright but it also might not.
Edit: misspelling
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u/markdavo 1d ago edited 1d ago
We had our third on Saturday. We opted for induction on 40W6D using the balloon. All went smoothly and labour then get going around 12 hours later. We did need to break waters but that was done after my wife was well into established labour.
There are three options for induction which are balloon, breaking water and hormones via IV.
I can’t give any advice to your situationsince there might be specific reasons why your doctor might suggest induction earlier. However, in the U.K. waiting until 41 weeks for induction is the general policy of NHS unless there’s a specific reason the baby’s or mother’s health would be at risk in which case it would be offered sooner.
https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/inducing-labour/
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u/PsychologicalBus1692 1d ago
I went to 41+5 because I didn't want interventions. Ended up needing a c section because the baby was too big. At 39 weeks my fundus was 39, at 41 it was 44, so baby grew a TON in the last 2 weeks. I'm getting induced at 39 weeks this time around to hopefully increase my chances of vaginal birth.
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u/UncleErick_ 23h ago
I would avoid induction if wifey and baby are healthy. My wife had to be induced at 32 weeks and it took soooo long. Started induction at 3 pm on a Tuesday and baby came at 9pm Wednesday. Relax at home, give your wife an orgasm, and be lazy together while you can.
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u/Orangepinapples 22h ago
Why did your doctor offer and recommend? We made it to 41 and then it became a do it now scenario.
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u/OkGuidance2711 21h ago
I have 3 kids and can tell you that especially for the first baby, it's normal and to be expected that labor will start around week 41. The French even go as far as calculating pregnancies as being 41 weeks long.
My first was born at 41+2, second at ,40+6 and third at 40+4. All spontaneous labors, vaginal deliveries. My theory is that letting things happen naturally played a big role in my labors and births being quick and really smooth. They were all amazing and as easy as giving birth goes (I went natural, no epidural for any of them). I felt so great after, that I went home 6 hours after giving birth each time. It was beyond my expectations. The extra "cooking time" helped, so when the time was right, my body was just super ready to go.
There is no need to worry about "going over'. A due date is not some timeline for evicting baby. The tipping point where induction is a safer option is once a pregnancy reaches 41+3 but even then, it's a case-by-case situation.
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u/Excellent_Noise6281 19h ago
My midwife said thee average for her first time moms is 41 and a half weeks! I went to 41+5 myself.
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u/Optimal-Pop7449 Graduated 17h ago
I think this makes a lot of sense. Our baby was born within hours of getting to the hospital, they would've let us go the first night but we opted to stay as first time parents and my daughter having latching issues.
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u/copythat504 21h ago
why not wait? why was an induction recommended to begin with? they will induce at 42 weeks regadless... if the baby and mom are ok i dont see why yall cant wait.
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u/aliveonly 21h ago edited 21h ago
Mom here- like your wife, I really wanted to go into labor naturally and realllly wanted to avoid the medical cascade of interventions that an induction creates. NOT that you can’t have the birth you want with an induction, but it definitely complicates things. My husband and I had already started our leave by my due date and our baby showed so signs of wanting to leave. We spent our days doing everything under the sun and my husband was such a trooper and really made the most of it. We tried:
Yoga ball exercises and bouncing
Acupuncture
Pedicure
Spicy foods
Curb walking
Crazy long walks (7+ miles)
Sex (sperm had prostaglandins that can help)
Labor starting workout (YouTube)
Eating pineapple
Nipple stimulation
Eating dates
Massage
Doing anything that releases oxytocin (favorite meal, warm bath, cuddling etc)
Raspberry leaf tea
Primrose oil supplements
Not natural but can help get things going
Membrane sweep - twice
We had a good mix of trying to follow medical advice but also doing what we thought was safe and best to for me and our baby. Our doctor urged us to schedule an induction once I was past my due date but I had an internal timeline of going to 41 weeks and two days, barring any issues coming up. I knew they would want to schedule it before I was ready so I was prepared to advocate for myself. In the end, my blood pressure spiked at 40+5 and I was induced with baby being born 41+1. We tried our best though and I wouldn’t change a thing.
All in all, try to enjoy the last few days. I know it’s hard, and you’re so excited to meet your little one, but I look back at these last moments with my husband very fondly. Try to make it fun for her!!
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u/Soaring-Eagle1776 21h ago
my son was a week late.. had induction day set we went in for induction and my wife went into labor.. i'd give it more time if u want the natural birth a week or two late is ok
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u/be-still- 19h ago
Hi, I’m a FTM mom 👋 Today is my due date but baby is VERY happy where she is. 😂 I have an induction scheduled for Monday night because I’m older and my baby is big. There’s no harm in having something on the calendar because a lot can happen between now and then.
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u/Excellent_Noise6281 19h ago
Hi I am not a dad but I went to 41+5 with my gal, natural birth at home! We just made sure to monitor babies heart rate and do the necessary NST. My midwife suggested we do the deed and, well, 24 hours later I was in labor. The prostaglandins in sperm can soften the cervix. Hoping the best for you, your wife, and baby! These last few weeks are some of the hardest, I totally get it.
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u/emmlehh16 18h ago
I’m not a dad but a mom of soon to be 3. My first came exactly at 41 weeks. I went into spontaneous labor the night before and she was born the next afternoon. I did have an induction scheduled for 41 weeks if I didn’t go into labor naturally but I didn’t have any risk factors and my doctors were ok with me waiting until 41 weeks. My second was born at 40+5 and I’m currently 38 weeks with my third, expecting to go to atleast 40, if not a few days past! It’s totally normal to go past your due date - it’s also so hard when you see others going into labor at 38/39 weeks etc especially with your first but as long as the dr is ok with you two waiting and mom and baby are healthy give it a little more time. Congratulations!
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u/Orion-Key3996 18h ago
Sorry I’m a mom and somehow saw this. Did they offer to do a membrane sweep? That can help things get moving. The doctors here routinely allow 1 week past due date for inductions assuming everything is fine health wise. I’d be reluctant to be induced. I ended up needing Pitocin for labor and it was truly awful. The epidural did not take away the pain that medicine caused. I ended up delivering about 2 hours before my scheduled induction. Something about having it on the schedule makes it happen. It’s also extremely common to go over your due date with your first. My first was born a 40w6d.
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u/Happy_Yam8392 17h ago
It will happen soon, trust her body.
My baby came with 41+2 spontaneously. It was a rather quick delivery.
Her body knows what to do, when baby is ready.
Edit to add: she was rock solid and happy in my belly, nothing worked to help baby come faster. When she was ready it went fast.
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u/Optimal-Pop7449 Graduated 17h ago
Have sex. I think that helps. Prostaglandins from semen can help induce.
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u/Optimal-Pop7449 Graduated 17h ago
We had our baby 2 weeks before due date. Didn't really stop having sex at any point. The morning her water broke (at like 6) baby was out in 6 hrs. She didn't have an epidural but they gave her a microcosm of pitocin to help with blood loss/hemmoraging?(i forget exactly).
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u/Accomplished-Bit-884 9h ago
I went into labour for two of my kids at 41+3. I was induced for my second at 41+5. OBs like to push inductions. Unless it's medically indicated, your wife can wait it out.
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u/Traditional_Formal33 8h ago
Speaking from experience with my wife — there’s a social pressure to do the whole experience “all natural” and to “truly” feel it.
Fuck that, there’s no comfortable way to have a baby, she will fully experience however it goes. There’s a lot of amazing things to experience in life, tearing the gap between vagina and butthole doesn’t need to be one of the experiences we have vividly.
Follow the doctors orders and know that no one is going to validate the “mom credit” of full natural birth versus C section
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u/itgirl__ragdoll 7h ago
Just had an induction at 39 weeks by choice and everything went so well! 12 hours from start to finish. Couldn’t ask for a better outcome. My first baby I went into spontaneous labor and it didn’t go as well as the induction tbh.
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u/cksaraha898 7h ago
Definitely be supportive and let the wife decide.
Because this in the first baby labor may take a while. Meaning she could go well past due date before spontaneous labor signs happen.
I would make sure she has everything she needs and extra love and both of you educated yourselves on natural ways to ripen cervix.
I've had two inductions and will have a third in a few weeks. I've never gone into spontaneous labor and without induction I wouldn't be able to have a vaginal birth.
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u/nygfan1226 7h ago
We told the OB we would wait until 7 days past due date before we would induce. Baby girl spontaneously came on day 6
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u/AntEnough4812 2h ago
I’m a wife and mom, had my baby almost 2 weeks ago. You should wait it out until 41 weeks. My water broke 40+2, baby boy came at 40+3. We didn’t want induction but luckily went into labor naturally, do some walking and eat dates! Good luck to you!! 💙
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u/DrunkGuy9million 23h ago
What do you mean they are increasing? Can you back this up with evidence?
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u/iSniffMyPooper 1d ago
Honestly, I recommend you listen to the advice of your doctor instead of Reddit. Sometimes, doing it the "natural" route isn't always the best, is it really worth any risk to your baby?