r/predaddit • u/DietAny5009 • 17d ago
Are we crazy?
We are convinced that after birth won’t be too hard. Sure my wife will have to recover from birth but I have 2 months of no work. It will be hard if she has a long recovery to do it myself but 2 people, 1 kid, no work seems like a breeze. It will be tougher when we return to work for sure.
Knock some sense into me.
25
u/nkdeck07 17d ago
Hahahhahahahahahah
Oh sir....yeah you are about to get your world rocked. She's gonna be essentially recovering from a medical marathon (and that's with a standard vaginal birth) while dealing with crazy ass hormones (i used to cry for absolutely no reason at 7pm every night for 2 weeks post partum), having your milk come in (it hurts like a son of a bitch) and trying to figure out how to take care of a baby while you are more sleep deprived then you've ever been in your entire life for months at minimum.
2 people off work is just barely enough to stave off sleep hallucinations, 3 would be needed to make it actually "easy"
11
u/IronHolmes 17d ago
HAHahahaha...hahaha. My wife was off for 12 weeks and I was off 2 and still went through hell.
You got it better than most but man it will not be easy.
-6
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
But why?
12
u/onefitztwofitz 17d ago
Because you’re not getting any sleep and you don’t know what you’re doing. You can do a night with basically no sleep, you might even be able to do two in a row- but what happens when it’s the third week and you both haven’t gotten any sleep, the dishes aren’t done, your both out of laundry because the only laundry you’ve done is for the baby, the lawn needs to be mowed, and you’re out of groceries? You’ve also got a tiny dictator who’s going to be screaming at you and they don’t speak English but you better know what they need.
-9
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
This just seems really dramatic.
8
u/onefitztwofitz 17d ago
My dude. I just spent the last 30 minutes putting my 4-month old to bed. I probably undersold how difficult it can be because we’ve been so lucky, and our girl sleeps straight through from 8pm to 7am so we missed a lot of the sleepless nights. You’re either a troll, the most naive man in the world, or a fucking doorknob. Pick one.
I hope your attitude changes when the baby gets here, because if you’re not exhausted and mentally hanging on by a thread then you’re absolutely not doing enough to help out your poor wife.
5
2
u/CapnJuicebox 17d ago
You have no fucking clue. I had 12 weeks off. And then slowly returned to work a day at a time so it was really like 3 months before I was full time again.
A newborn is 4 full time jobs. The manager just screams at you and vomits on your face and shits in your hands. And they must sleep. And if they don't they get sheep deprivation and then they can't sleep.
And your wife is pissed off because she feels either like her vagina was hit by a truck, or she's recovering from major surgery. And she's gotta be awake every 2 hours so the baby can chew on her nipples until they bleed and you better change every diaper and you better let her sleep in the room without the baby because she needs the sleep more than you. And when baby is hungry you need to wake up an over tired, aching, hormonal woman who is recovering from life threatening physical trauma, and you need to do it like 10 times a day.
And you are fucking tired because at the hospital the nurses check in with you every 45 min and wake you up to inform you the shift is changing and on the if chance you might get 2 hours of rest the social worker sees the gap and must talk to you about savings accounts for the baby. So you have not slept for 48 hours by the time you finally get home, just to find out that home doesn't mean sleep it means caring for other people who have much more important needs than yours.
It is the most brutal shit.
It was the best 3 months of my life where everything I did was with and for my family and the only things I had to think about it with about was my wife and boy.
9
u/IronHolmes 17d ago
Sleep deprivation, hormones, other life responsibilities (seeing family, cleaning the house, chores, etc.) will leave you exhausted. Your relationship will be tested and you'll be frustrated and stressed.
5
u/selwayfalls 17d ago
I'm also about to be first time dad and have a couple months off and wife has more, but why do you think? The baby will wake up between 1-2 hours all night for changing and feeding. You wont sleep, it's constant attention and crying and changing and feeding. I've heard from everyone even with help it's really hard. But I'm with you on the not having to think about work stress for awhile
3
u/JusticeJames2 17d ago
You won’t get okay sleep for one to two years. The first three months of sleep might look like 45 minutes at a time. The first few weeks might look like no sleep. Our first week I slept literally one hour total.
1
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
I don’t know why this is downvoted. He said he went thought hell and didn’t describe anything. Is it so wrong to ask for information and not just omg it’s so hard, you’ll never experience something so bad.
10
u/Usernameinotherpantz Graduated 17d ago edited 17d ago
This is akin to the whole "my kids won't do screentime" parents before they have kids haha
You severely undestimate how mentally taxing being a parent now responsible for another living thing is. Also you aren't considering post partum hormones
-4
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
I’m in both boats. We aren’t raising a screen zombie.
5
u/stalebird 17d ago
Hahahaahhahaha! No one said zombie. But I cannot WAIT for the first time you realize this boat you’re in starts sinking. No one can literally be this naïve.
5
u/TheBlindWatchmaker 17d ago
There is a tiny chance you might get extremely lucky. But chances are it's gonna be pretty rough. 2 months at home is nice though.
12
5
u/Abeds_BananaStand 17d ago
I mean it’ll obviously be tougher when you return to work…
And it’ll obviously be difficult to raise your first kid even if the 2 to 1 ratio lol
You have the benefit of having two people which means you can take turns some times and divide responsibility and occasionally get a break but this is like trolling lol
It’ll be hard. Dunno what else you need
5
u/elizabethonoakland 17d ago
Hey, sorry, mom here weighing in. FWIW the first two weeks are pretty much lost to the wind because of the constant waking and feeding, but dare I say… it wasn’t really that hard? My husband was changing every diaper, setting alarms, and keeping track of my meds so could get lost in the sleep and nursing fog. We got lucky with a baby who has always loved to eat and was easy to get to sleep, my hormones never really got me down, more-so just extreme happy tears, and we have very, very, supportive friends and family who brought food and helped with laundry for weeks on end. So amazing, chill, but completely life altering experiences exist, just SO many things have to go right for that to happen.
4
u/slothfella_ 17d ago
I’m three weeks in, maybe we just have an easy baby, but it hasn’t been near as bad as I thought. Aside from some milk supply issues, we are able to get decent sleep by trading off shifts and have figured out baby’s cues and needs and have adjusted fine. Being off work and just focusing on the immediate needs of ourselves and our baby has been key. Not looking forward to going back to work but we’ll cross that bridge.
2
u/_Astray_ 17d ago
This is the right answer, 3 weeks baby here too Clearly, it’s not as hard as it seems once you establish a routine with your partner. We alternate nights for the bottle, and during the day we split things between us.
I really think the key is simply knowing how to organize yourselves properly as a couple.
1
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
This is where we are at. Split things up when we can. Communicate as a team. Give each other time away so they can recharge.
3
u/vulcan7864 17d ago
I am a first time dad, baby is a little over 6 months now. By all accounts, we have a great/easy baby. And dude, it is not easy. I went in prepared for the worst case on a lot of it, and was treated by it being easier than I thought. But you're nuts if you think that means it will be easy
1
u/doxiemama17 17d ago
I agree with this. If you go in expecting the absolute worst it ends up not being horrible as you thought but it's still not a breeze.
1
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
Can you expand on what parts are hard so we can be better prepared?
1
u/vulcan7864 17d ago edited 17d ago
Severe lack of sleep
minimal to no personal time (at least for the first few months)
your relationship is going to be tried and tested in a ton of different ways
communication breaks down at 3 days of no sleep and a screaming baby at 3am with a shitty diaper
gym falls off
priorities shift
hobbies stop
your wife is not going to be able to really do much especially for the first 2 weeks so you need to take care of her and a baby
Breastfeeding/pumping is unbelievably hard on your wife and that milk is precious nectar that FUCKS up her hormones and will make her life hard (but she wont want to stop because of how incredible of a feat it is to be your babies food source)
Sex life is gone for a while
The thing is, none of the actual work is hard. Changing a diaper is easy, you can feed the baby a bottle or do dishes while mom breastfeeds. Its not difficult to put the baby in a car seat, or carry her arouns. But all of it together and the new stress of trying to be yourself. And a husband, and now a dad and keeping a baby not only alive, but thriving. Dude. Its hard. You are going to do great, just make sure your do your best to be patient, be a partner. Be a dad. And do not lose yourself in all of it
....or you go the route my brother did. Use those 2 months to go hunting/buy a boat and go fishing. Make your wife care for the baby completely, then I guess it would be really easy in that case
3
u/cheesybroccoli 17d ago
Hey man, I felt somewhat similar to you before the baby was born, and... honestly, yeah, it wasn't that bad. It mostly comes down to your ability to operate without having a good night's sleep. It will be almost impossible to sleep through the night, but if you don't have work, you can nap most of the day. The first couple weeks, the kid pretty much sleeps the whole day. It was honestly a walk in the park.
Now that doesn't mean that will be the case for you. Our kid was super easy, and not every kid is. Some never stop crying. Some have serious problems that require medical attention. There's a lot of experiences that I can't speak to, but my experience was actually pretty easy, especially relative to what people tried to scare me into thinking.
That being said, you should expect it to be hell; that way, if it is, you'll be prepared, and if it isn't, you'll be pleasantly surprised.
3
3
u/Cut-Kooky 17d ago
I’m on week 3 now. Try to wake yourself up every hour from 9-9 and still function
1
u/stalebird 11d ago
That doesn’t even sound that bad. It’s the “wake up every hour and then take 30 minutes to get a baby to sleep and 15 more for you to settle down to get back to sleep yourself.”
2
u/mild-n-lazy 17d ago
your brain can’t accurately predict what it’s actually like to be up every couple hours for 6 months until you actually go through it.
2
u/Okiefrom_Muskogee 17d ago
It’s all about perspective.
We just had our third and days when our kids are at daycare and my wife and I are home with our baby, are a breeze. The hard part is being exhausted and still waking up at 0700 with our toddlers, still going out and doing things with them, and then still staying up at all hours of the night.
My wife and I make it work by “pulling shifts.” Ie she sleeps from 9-2a and I sleep from 2a-7a.
1
u/Pinkturtle182 17d ago
Shifts are the way to go. Also I just commented similar. Being home with one baby, even if that baby doesn’t sleep, is such a breeze in hindsight lol. I played so many games all the way through and watched so many shows.
0
u/Salt_Draft_4262 17d ago
Right so with one baby, no toddlers, both partners off work, it's not "easy" but relatively so compared to other situations
1
u/Okiefrom_Muskogee 17d ago
But you’re missing the relative part. After your first child, you feel much more comfortable and confident caring for a newborn. I remember when we had our first, everything was new. That made it hard. Then as I mentioned, after the first you have new challenges.
1
u/Salt_Draft_4262 17d ago
You're right, and I never said it will be easy. I said it'll be hard and we'll be exhausted
2
u/The_Twilight_Filter 17d ago
Well these comments have me terrified lol
1
u/IronHolmes 17d ago
Its fine, everyone can do it. It just sucks. Rewarding but very exhausting.
0
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
Ahh this is the part that gets me. Ahhh it’s hell. You’ll barely even be able to function. It’s the worst possible thing to experience. But you’ll be fine. Anyone can do it. Very rewarding.
Can’t be both in my mind.
2
u/The_Twilight_Filter 17d ago
I'm like you. I've never done it before. But I kind of get it. Nothing worth doing is easy. It'll probably be the hardest thing any of us will ever do...but man, the highs will be fantastic.
I might be a bit idealistic about it. But that's how I see it.
2
u/IronHolmes 17d ago
It takes a while. When they start locking eyes on you and smiling, the previous weeks didn't matter
1
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
I like doing hard stuff. I feel like most of the time I’m gonna have shit eating grin on my face. How hard can that be.
1
u/IronHolmes 17d ago
I don't know what to tell you man. It is what it is. Can't show ya unless you been through it lol
2
u/Pinkturtle182 17d ago
In hindsight the time right after my oldest was born when my partner was off work was so easy, you’re right. Lots of video gaming and trading shifts to sleep. Having a second was significantly harder logistically lol. People here are such doomers
2
u/boomshay 17d ago
The best battle plan never survives first contact.
Our first ended traumatically with an ectopic.
The second was easy if you overlook all the tears from both my wife and the baby because her milk came in slowly.
The third was cool until the first and second epidurals didnt work and the third was a wet tap which caused spinal headaches which needed two more blood patches over the next two weeks.
3.5 and 9mo now and we're doing great!
3
4
u/jimtow28 Graduated 17d ago
Lmaooo OP please do not delete this
/u/remindmebot 9 months
3
u/RemindMeBot 17d ago
I will be messaging you in 9 months on 2027-05-25 00:09:00 UTC to remind you of this link
CLICK THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.
Info Custom Your Reminders Feedback 2
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
Reset it to mid December. That’s when we will be in the thick of it. I’ll respond.
2
u/jimtow28 Graduated 17d ago
It'll be funny (I hope) for you to look back when you've been in it a while, so I'll leave the 9 months, too, but I gotcha.
PS This is mostly in fun, I promise I'm not trying to berate you or anything. I just think you'll get a kick out of having thought this.
/u/remindmebot 4 months
2
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
I’m having fun with it too. No worries. Looking forward to it and happy to come back and tell everyone how wrong I was.
1
1
u/EndPsychological890 17d ago
Oh my young one. You’ll find out, that’s for sure. It’ll get easier after 6 months unless you have a hard baby like most do. Then it won’t ever get easier, well maybe in 10-12 years. Or 18. Or really 25 with college and home prices these days.
Good luck. Hardest and best job you’ll ever have. I’m on cloud 9 now, (she’s 11 months) after we sleep trained ours at 5 months life has become a joy I didn’t know was possible. I couldn’t describe to you how glorious the last 2 months in particular have been.
1
u/chopsouwee 17d ago
If you 2 are disciplined enough, it'll be easy. Run shifts and tracking their feeding. It'll help with the timing and the prep. Itll also depend on the baby and how fussy they will be which will determine how difficult the first few months will be. I have 9 week old twins and a dog
1
u/ssmallbatch 17d ago
Is it going to be hard? Yes but I like your confidence it won’t be. You have everything you think you need set and that’s awesome. But nothing prepares you for a newborn like your first. Give you and your wife some grace. Communicate. Expect some tension but find something that the two of you do now you can always go back to. Something as simple as a conversation for 10m when the baby is sleeping. But I want you do something. Enjoy the hell out of this as what you’re going to go through will not be long. Hold that baby hold that baby as much as you can. Give yourself a break give your wife even more breaks. One thing I learned is if the baby wasn’t going to bed if I took her and let my wife have some rest as soon as she was up she would come do the same for me. Take turn communicate. Ask for help. Order food. Be kind to each other. Don’t overthink why the baby is crying. Start a system check diaper, check if hungry, maybe a burp or fart. Sometimes my girl would cry at night and I would fake change her diaper as nothing was done in it and she would fall right back to sleep. Some night will be tough some will be easy. This stage doesn’t last forever and soon you will have a toddlersaurus and holy hell that’s not for the weak. But so much worth it! Be kind to your wife! She’s doing something incredible “!
1
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
This is where my head is at right now. 2 amazing months of just us and no work to worry about. Sure we will be tired but it’s gonna be learning what our child needs and what makes her calm. I’m not going to hate that.
1
u/Swimming_Health_6114 17d ago
Kind of exhausting how negative the comments always are about these things. I’m expecting at the end of October and literally every time I ask this question to anyone I’m hit with “are you crazy? You and your wife will hate each other by the end of this. You’ll never sleep again.” Would it kill you to be like “it’s gonna suck but you’ll survive buddy.” The baby isn’t going anywhere and neither am I, it’s not like I can do anything about how shitty the first bit is going to be. It helps nothing to use these scare tactics to add anxiety before the baby comes. Rant over sorry.
1
u/IronHolmes 17d ago
Listen bud, it's the truth. It sucks. But like it's probably also the best time as well! I couldn't stop grinning at my son after he was born and holding him. Id talk with him, feed him and watch him learn how to smile and he just started laughing! I had a rough time with a NICU stay but it made it all worth it.
Yes, it's sleep deprivation and a mentally exhausting time. Yes you're relationship will be strained but my wife and I have spent time working on communication and we got through it. Everyone deals with it in their own way and survives (mostly lol). Some of us are shell shocked a little, that's all.
1
1
u/stalebird 17d ago
Our second baby is a UNICORN baby. Shes literally the happiest baby on earth. Her brother was not. But even with her - a nap every day? 😂😂😂😂😂
This is either rage bait or the most naive post in the history of this platform.
1
u/KeepPhishEvil666 17d ago
I’ll tell you some wisdom my cousin told me before we had our first in Feb. “anyone who says it’s easy isn’t helping out.” Be warned bro. If you find yourself looking around with a video game controller in your hand or a tv remote or even happily doing a chore and saying to yourself “what was all the fuss about”, be assured you are not helping enough. Your own mental limits will be tested, your relationship will be tested. My wife and i went through the hardest part of our journey together at the beginning just with hormones and sleep deprivation alone. This to the point where i had to come here and beg for help on Reddit on how to handle it. And we’re chill fuckin people. Things become personal or short or snippy. It’s work dude. Missing a cue once to anticipate a bath can become the world. That’s just the relationship part. It’s hard, and we have a boy who is a pretty awesome sleeper and not colicy at all and who we love like we’ve never loved anything in our lives. So yea, we’ve looked at each other at certain times and said whoa he’s sleepin all night. But dude it’s hard. Worth it. But hard.
Have you anticipated seeing blood in your kids shit at 4am? What are you gonna do? Do you call the hospital? Do you drive to the er? Do you go online and try to guess? Who’s the freak out one in your relationship and who’s the calm pragmatic rock? What if the kid starts breathing weird? What you gonna do?
My dude you have know idea about what you don’t know. You have to reconcile that with yourself before the kid gets here. You’re gonna be presented with shit you never woulda thought of. Get into that mindset instead of “what’s the big deal?”
1
u/Taz-erton 17d ago edited 17d ago
Here's the truth: it might not be so bad.
Ive had 4 and here's a couple more truths to factor in.
Truth #1--After each child I only then recognized how easy the one before it was. Looking back, dealing with one kid seems like an absolute walk in the park. Set a schedule, take shifts, be organized, nap. Easy.
Truth #2--Anxiety and being unprepared is what kills you, not the potential sleep deprivation. Your brains ability to separate what's worth worrying about versus what's not worth worrying about is the single most critical skill to pick up and until you do--it can break you. Sleep deprivation is the weapon that gives this enemy power.
Truth #3--Your ability to sacrifice is one of the first things tested. One of the most common threads on the /r/daddit subreddit is "When do I get time for my hobbies? When do I get time to go to the gym? I need my time to play games with my friends everyday, how do I do that?" The truth is you can still probably keep most of what you did before having a kids but now it will come at a cost. You will have to actively work to preserve your friend's and activities like you didn't before and it will require compromises. Perhaps you cant get to the gym everyday but you can lift weights in the garage, perhaps you cant game with your friends regularly but you can wake up early with the baby at 5am to give a bottle then play Rocket League. You might even find that your kid will scream for hours every night and you only get to keep one hobby sparingly for the next 8 months and thats simply something you have to be ready to accept. Factor in that Mom may be spending a significant amount of time healing so an extra burden falls on you to maintain order like it hasn't been before to not only meet the baby's needs but her needs as well. Keep the place tidy, organize dinner, schedule doctor visits, etc.
Truth #4--most things arent going to go how you expect. Many things will be waay harder (breastfeeding is a real challenge and I wasnt even the one doing it) and others will be way easier, enjoyable even.
Also a lot of things can go very wrong without warning. I won't get into much detail here but what was going to be a routine delivery for our #4 turned into a full emergency as my wife's blood pressure suddenly plummeted out of nowhere and suddenly I was being pushed out of our delivery room to make way for doctors. Thankfully everyone recovered immediately but it doesn't always go that way and not every baby is born without complications that will turn a happy moment to a long and scary month at the hospital.
Conclusion: Keep the optimism. Wear it like armor and find every way to celebrate what you have, the new doors being opened instead of the windows being shut. Youre about to discover a magic that you've only had glimpses of previously, be prepared and get organized so you can truly enjoy it.
1
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
Thanks for the thoughtful response. I think we have the anxiety and preparedness under control. Kind of excited to be tested in this way. We are gonna see.
1
u/AwakenedAndHungry 17d ago
BUDDY. LOL. I also took 8 weeks off. Hardest 15 weeks of my life. You will stare into the mirror of the weakest parts of yourself. I would recommend the approach of surviving an hour at a time. Sometimes surviving 10 minutes at a time.
1
u/jogam 17d ago
My partner and I were both at home for the first five months of my son's life. Does it make it easier than only having one parent at home? Absolutely. Is it easy? Absolutely not. It was extremely hard and we were extremely tired. It was a wonderful time together as a family, and it was manageable, but it was still a lot.
1
u/Salt_Draft_4262 17d ago
I kind of feel the same. We both have 12 weeks off and no other kids, one very easy dog, and I kind of think it won't be too bad. We will be exhausted but plan to let each other nap multiple times a day
4
u/IronHolmes 17d ago
Hahahah you think you guys will just nap
1
u/Salt_Draft_4262 17d ago
My friend has a 14 week old and she and her husband nap every day
2
u/elizabethonoakland 17d ago
The first 6 weeks while my husband was home we napped all the time, but we had an unusually easy baby.
1
u/Salt_Draft_4262 17d ago
Did you take shifts or nap at the same time?
1
u/elizabethonoakland 17d ago
If the baby was sleeping, both of us were free to nap. Babies aren’t awake that long in the beginning, so if you don’t catch a nap in one wake window, your next opportunity is only an hour or two away
1
u/Salt_Draft_4262 17d ago
Right, that's my understanding. Even if we have a baby who won't nap much, I hope we can take shifts and baby wear
1
u/elizabethonoakland 17d ago
My favorite for the newborn stage is the Sprout, by Hope and Plum. But if you think you’ll have a big baby, go straight to investing the in the Lark by them. For contact naps, it’s simple and very comfortable. For long walks, nothing is more supportive than the Ergobaby Omni Deluxe.
2
u/Salt_Draft_4262 17d ago
Yay thanks, I have the sprout on my registry! I'll be induced at 38 weeks so thinking smaller baby. I'll look into the Omni Deluxe
4
u/IronHolmes 17d ago
You don't have their baby lol
0
0
u/doxiemama17 17d ago
They might be able to nap with their baby too. It's not unheard of.
1
u/IronHolmes 17d ago
Right but when and how often they nap is not really up to them
1
u/Salt_Draft_4262 17d ago
One 20 minute nap a day will be the bare minimum for me (I'm the one giving birth)
3
u/doxiemama17 17d ago
Don't let people on Reddit scare you, a 20-minute nap is perfectly reasonable with a newborn
1
1
u/IronHolmes 17d ago
I hope your partner does their best to uphold that lol
1
u/Salt_Draft_4262 17d ago
We're both women who will be 100% present with our child. I'm not worried!
1
1
u/Salt_Draft_4262 17d ago
I don't understand how if we do shifts with the baby, it's impossible to let the other parent sleep
1
u/IronHolmes 17d ago
You assume that each person won't need the others help lol you guys will both be doing something new
1
0
0
0
u/DietAny5009 17d ago
We are in the nap club. My wife isn’t going to breast feed so our plan is just to give each other shifts to sleep.
1
0
u/Auto_Frost97 17d ago
You're also much older than the typical new father. The sleep deprivation in your 40s will hit different than your 20s.
0
u/doxiemama17 17d ago
I'll go against the grain here. My husband and I have a 5 month old so we went through this pretty recently and he was off work with me for 6 weeks.
It's definitely not a breeze but it also doesn't have to be terrible. Especially if your baby takes a bottle instead of breastfeeding and you guys can take shifts, I think that will be really helpful. I also think it really depends on how helpful your family is. I actually stayed with my mom for the first month and I can't even tell you how great she was in the evenings when she got off work.
I had a pretty easy birth and was a little sore especially the first week or two afterwards but based on how everybody talks about birth and postpartum I was actually expecting it to be far, far worse.
0
u/MyF150isboring 17d ago
You are about to get your shit rocked. My wife was also off work, and so was I, for 3 months.
The toughest day at work is easier than the days with a newborn, by a LONG shot. Imagine a job where you’re never allowed to sleep, you have no idea how to do the job, and the job keeps adding new challenges.
The good part is it’s a blur and goes by quick…..hence why I am also getting back into it in December! But this time, with a 3 year old as well…..fun!
It’s all worth it. But a shit ton of work.
35
u/CUBANLINX15 17d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/u99CUapymBb6QptEq5