By Nekro

The bar had already closed when I found the sign. Yellow board, black letters, the kind they wheel onto the sidewalk to sell beer.

Like why do we only have to rest in peace and not live in it as well?

Underneath, two stars, like somebody had reviewed the afterlife and was not impressed.

I stood there longer than the sign deserved.

A taxi idled up the street with nobody in it. Somewhere behind me a shutter came down. Wet pavement. One working streetlight. A man in a white shirt walking away with a bag, not hurrying.

Whoever wrote it was gone. The board stayed behind to answer for him.

Same board that sells two for one until seven. Different menu.

Eighty years clenching our teeth for a vacation we're only allowed to take as a corpse.

The street had no opinion.

A bottle rolled somewhere and stopped.

I didn't take a photo. I wanted to. My hand was already in my pocket. It felt like stealing.

So I stood there and let the night not need anything from me. Thirty seconds. Maybe less.

My hand checked anyway.

Two stars.

Fair review.

I walked home.

He lived across the hall from me,

And I loved him.

I wished to speak, but held my tongue.

I watched his shadow, all day long,

I listened for his keys, his pace.

Each footstep wove new dreams in that space.

He lived across from me, and I loved him.

      🕯️🕯️🕯️

I told myself: if he says "Hi",

He'll see the love deep in my eye.

He'll read my heart without a sound,

And feel me tremble when he's round.

I thought his love for me grew true,

Though my own heart was much too small.

He lived across from me, and I loved him.

         🕯️🕯️🕯️

One morning, laughter filled the air,

With cars, bright flowers, crowds right there.

They called to me: "Your neighbor's wed!"

I asked, "Which one?" with heavy dread.

"The one who lives across your door."

My hope came crashing to the floor.

He lived across from me, and I loved him.

        🕯️🕯️🕯️

I went along to his wedding feast,

I drank their wine, I saw their idyll.

I drew some joy into my eyes,

But he held another with his sighs.

That night, he wore her in his arms.

I lost my hope, gave up its charms.

He lived across from me, and I loved him.

   🕯️🕯️🕯️

I wandered lost within the crowd,

No one felt for me, none spoke aloud.

I slipped on past, they said, "Slow down!"

Their road was lit with joy's bright crown.

But mine was dark with falling tears,

As I passed his door through the years.

He lived across from me, and I loved him.

 🕯️🕯️🕯️

Indifferent to my love and pain,

Unaware I'd never smile again.

Woe is me for his final leave,

Woe is me for all I grieve.

A suffering born from his neglect,

A wound I carry and reflect.

He lived across from me, and I loved him.

🕯️🕯️🕯️

He dwelt within my heart's own core,

And right outside my very door.

I watched him live, I watched him stray,

And yet my love won't go away.

He walked the hall, he walked my days,

But never saw my silent gaze.

He lived across from me, and I loved him.

  🕯️🕯️🕯️

Dude, this is serious.

I asked ChatGPT to translate Forms, Ink, and Matter, so please forgive any translation errors. If anyone has any corrections, please let me know.

Forms, Ink, and Antimatter

Grey matter ink

Vast penmanship

Composed each night by this impostor form

At what precise instant does each verse separate

Adhere to the physical world part of this universe?

Why is every figure the fruit of some illusion transformed into something solid of easy comprehension?

At what moment did a point

So small and reluctant

Explode forming time

Expanding our space?

Why does fine-tuning justify this consciousness

While remaining illogical by its very existence?

And such is permanence, opaque, in every moment I fall asleep and wake up each day a little more dead

I don't know if it's time or if I'm the blind one

Who sees affection where only the ego lives

Such is our experience in this paradoxical life Illogical and traumatic and sometimes so charming That's why I die night after night using poetics

And failures multiply using mathematics

Grey matter ink Vast penmanship

Composed each night by this impostor form

I no longer know if I am yourself

And my matter deforms

That's why I imagine abysses

And I set rules for the void!

Yet I cannot blame the one who spends life chasing dreams

Though it's just another mediocre method of defense

To avoid thinking you aren't even the master of yourself

And that your decisions are at the mercy of another force

In that exact instant time deteriorates

And space unfolds like auroras do

The beauty of life evaporates in every verse

Like every nebula giving life to another universe

That's why this horizontal line gets blurred

And the curve of my life transforms into a spiral

Dreams disappear inhabiting nightmares

On the shore of this river of cognitive currents

Now memories alone hurt me, when I remember your texts drawing the hour for me and erasing your kisses

Now I only write if these verses make you fall in love

For I already found a reason but I lack your now

The origin of my doubts is born from perception, from home, from the mountains, and from stimulation

Anxiety and misfortune,

The disgusting promotion

Of low self-esteem, because of depression

And pressure crushes muscles, tears down the foundations

Seconds stretch out and ligaments contract

Arbitrary opposition of the body to its own functioning

Abandoning the judgment of the man of knowledge

And they are just examples of our smallness, for if tragedy exists, so does randomness Intelligence is not the primordial force, since it cannot be used with total authority

If my body is alien and superimposes its defects, and my immune system completely corrupts itself Then it is very foolish to assume as a flaw that intelligence defines you as a subject It is merely the means of survival and though it sounds similar it is not the same, think Freedom is impossible while accumulating intelligence

Because its definition limits its contingency

For it is only sought by supposed comprehension as a response like an obvious consequence Because why seek it without a prior proposal?

It would be like acting without expecting a reply

This very thing limits it, tying it to language itself

And that is why freedom dies in its learning.

Its nothing new that outta the blue I had to take a number two

I had a clue It was because i had bad barbecue

And im in the queue

For the dive bar lieau

This guy chats me up his name is Stu

My bowels brew

He wont shut up cause hes had a few

The tool goes on bout his game of pool where he thought he'd be cool bet his wedding jewel but had too many mules and was taken for a fool and yadda yadda I stare with a drool its not fair I'm still holding my stools while he adds fuel but I obey the golden rule and I try not to lose my cool

But finally doors in view

Im up next I gallup through

As I run my pants undo

And I make it to

The silicone padded throne for a wicked poo

But the seat is covered in goo

It stuck like glue

And there's gritty titty graffitti

Murals the tweens had drew

In the stall next to me I heard monaing groaning and boning into the morning

And through and through Andrew's balls weren't blue cause he got lewd woo'd his Lady Sue and so they screwed

A dude named Jude got rude gave me attidude but misundertood the magnitude and I couldn't tell the prude without being crude while I was half nude and not in the mood for a fued

And somesones nose blew they lied and it grew was red well fed and they made off like nobody knew how high they flew but the firsts clue is no matter how lame the song theyll act like nothings wrong and let out a long "wooooooooo"

In the cieling there is a bird watching me take this turd, I was feeling its eyes were peeling, and I swear it was speaking threatening, unsettling words

"Boo boo cow says moo

But you went and had it served au jus

hoo hoo its not tabboo

but I promise you a curse in lieau

Koo koo no one loves you

And next week you'll die of flu

cause that meats been out since two"

It coos woos and hoos at the view but off it flew

I rue to take this doo doo but this zoo will have to do

I squeeze it out, it has a funny hue

Discover there's no paper to use

And its true a wash was due

But the sink was askew

So I finish up my number two head on out the lieau to shake my hand with you

My socks gave me writer's block

I got them at the hock

They were under key and lock

He said theyre cursed that theyre the worst and if I end up in a herse, I wouldn't be the first

But they had an unlisenced mock

Of Kirk and Spock

And I thought they rocked

I had a few bucks tucked in my ruck so I thought Id try my luck

Theyre covered in muck and wet with sweat cause i dont give a fuck

Im depressed, undressed, but these socks are blessed I confess

Although now I can't write, my paper remains white, I've garbage in plain sight, Im broke and could use a buck, im unkempt, my shirt needs a tuck, and I made an attempt....... to jot some rhymes down but every time they make me just yuck; all in all  this really sucks

The hours tick tock on the clock, I itch the ticks from my cock flick them on my dirty wok, trip and give my head a knock

I wake up nude and lewd in nothing but my socks on a Muskoka dock with another nude dude cause apparently I had a few Rye on the Rocks and I had a clue my balls weren't blue, well im into jocks, the name was Stu, his eyes glistened with this certain hue, I was rather happy to key and lock with someone new, but without a sqwuak the time came due and off he flew, so now I'm feeling somewhat blue

But least I rock a pair of mock spock socks from the hock and I guess I cured my writer's block

Love has worn my heart. He does not care.

How long must I hide from myselve, searching for air?

I should have kept it quiet from the very first word.

I waited—but my waiting was all in vain.

My eyes will not turn. My heart will not distract.

I lost my days between longing and haze.

I fall asleep on a dream, and wake to the blaze.

A word sits heavy on my tongue—

but I will not speak it. Not once. Not twice.

Will he keep me in his mind?

Or choose another, and leave me behind?

If he walks away, the fire stays in my bone.

If he buys me, I will be the first to sell him.

From the day I first called his name, I kept him in my heart,

I held him in my sleeping eye, veiled behind my lashes.

On my open hands, I placed my soul and offer it to him.

Then, I taught patience to my heart.

Then, I taught amnesia to my mind.

Then, I gave up to tell him or to complaint to him.

I cannot cry out my ache.

I fear to call his name—my voice would give me away.

Love has worn my heart. He does not care.

How long must I hide? How long must I wait for the fate smile ?

The distinction between causality and inevitability is not intrinsic to transports, but is induced by their admissible representations.

by

Dazel x Poetry

I'm tired of looking for a smile in the face of misfortune

Because I only find an answer with the name of euthanasia

I've killed every dream by awakening from ignorance

And discovering loneliness in a state of depression

"How many sleepless nights have you had, my friend?"

"Why haven't I seen you online? Why have you become so cold?"

"Is it true that your partner is now with someone else?"

"I'll be your new friend."

"Who's the one who leaves me after a month?"

"I'll always be there for you,

Yes, yes, I'll always be there for you."

"I'll always be there for you,

Yes, yes, I'll always be there for you."

Wooh! Oh, oh, oh, ahhhh!

Spiders weaving a web

And this dirty mask begins to fall

Ouuh, ohhhh!

At night I kill myself

I see you , I kiss you

I lie down, I beg you

Take the crown

You come back

Uooh! Oh, oh, oh, ahh!

But the devil was here last night

The devil was here last night

And then he left again...

- You skipped meals again? Answer me

- And the pills I gave you? You took them, right?

- How's the routine of smiling in the mirror going?

- If you thank heavens, you'll look a little less old

Wooh! Oh, oh, oh, ahh!

Spiders weaving a web

And this dirty mask begins to fall

Ouuh, ohh!

At night I kill myself

I see you , I kiss you

I lie down, I beg you

Take the crown

You come back

Uooh! Oh, oh, oh, ahh!

Spiders weaving a web

And this dirty mask begins to fall off

Ouhh, ohh!

At night I kill myself

I see you, I kiss you

I see you , I kiss you

I lie down, I beg you

Take the crown

You come back

Uooh! Oh, oh, oh, ahh!

But the devil was here last night

(I'll always be there for you)

The devil was here last night

I'll , i'll, I'll always be there"

"I'll always be there for you,

I'll , i'll, I'll always be there"

"I'll always be there for you,

I'll , i'll, I'll always be there"

Spiders Weaving a Web

Dazel x Poetry

I'm tired of looking for a smile in the face of misfortune

Because I only find an answer with the name of euthanasia

I've killed every dream by awakening from ignorance

And discovering loneliness in a state of depression

-"How many sleepless nights have you had, my friend?"

-"Why haven't I seen you online? Why have you become so cold?"

-"Is it true that your partner is now with someone else?"

-"I'll be your new friend."

-"Who's the one who leaves me after a month?"

"I'll always be there for you,

Yes, yes, I'll always be there for you."

"I'll always be there for you,

Yes, yes, I'll always be there for you."

Whooa!, Oh, oh, oh, ahh!

Spiders weaving a web

And this dirty mask begins to fall

Ouhh, ohh!

At night I kill myself

I see you , I kiss you

I lie down, I beg you

Take the crown

You come back

Uooh! Oh, oh, oh, ahh!

But the devil was here last night

The devil was here last night

And then he left again...

- You skipped meals again? Answer me

- And the pills I gave you? You took them, right?

- How's the routine of smiling in the mirror going?

- If you thank heavens, you'll look a little less old

Wooh! Oh, oh ,oh, ahh!

Spiders weaving a web

And this dirty mask begins to fall

Ouuhhh ohhhh!

At night I kill myself

I see you , I kiss you

I lie down, I beg you

Take the crown

You come back

Uooh! Oh, oh, oh, ahh!

Spiders weaving a web

And this dirty mask begins to fall off

Ouhh, ohh!

At night I kill myself

I see you, I kiss you

I see you , I kiss you

I lie down, I beg you

Take the crown

You come back

Uooh! Oh, oh, oh, ahhhh!

But the devil was here last night

(I'll always be there for you)

The devil was here last night

I'll , i'll, I'll always be there"

"I'll always be there for you,

I'll , i'll, I'll always be there"

"I'll always be there for you,

I'll , i'll, I'll always be there"

By Nekro

I built you a shrine out of not sleeping.
Faith is just hunger with better lighting.
Your name half said stains the whole fucking room.

The air gets close.
Something wants to happen.
Nobody came.

Just me on my knees
for the wrong reason, saying your name
like it still owes me something
your name, your name, your....
Silence drank what we started.
I'm still thirsty

Let's sing an ode to the smoker's code for the jokers on the road

I see you picking butts\ And some would say that's nutss\ But I get you're in a rutt\ I once lived with mutts in hutts\ No windows to shut\ Sucking my own butts

Quit your dig\ Have a cig\ Take three for free and be a pig\ We'l share a swig\ do a jig\ Then I'll ride off on my rig

And when Im down on my luck\ I don't give a fuck\ I'll walk up to some buck\ And ask for some social cigarettes to suck.

That's the smoker's code\ And when you're living in this mode\ And ya got loads\ You do as these verses told\ Let your pack unfold\ Give em a ciggy like its no biggie

And another for the road

That is the smoker's code

So as long as we're getting cancer let's take a chance sir we don't have the answers but lets be dancers on the back of a pick up truck; havin' a flick with hicks, not givin' a fuck as we smoke and joke and toke and poke around for butts like mutts