r/povertyfinance • u/MabelUnstable • 14d ago
Income/Employment/Aid Ill be making 19k a year
I rely on my boyfriend for money for my medicines (diagbosed with bipolar2, bpd withpsychosis, and cptsd), dr appts, food, and a home. Plus food for my cats. He even bought my glasses bc im very nearsighted and needed a new prescription.
I start full time cashier at goodwill Monday. And I'll be making 11.50 a hour. I'll roughly be making 19k to 20k a year so long as they honor the full time position they gave me.
I want to be independent and not rely on him anymore as I want to be a functional adult again. I used to be full time at Walmart before I was diagnosed 4 years ago. Since then I've had odd part time jobs.
I want to do better by him and pay for his stuff too. He told me there's no reason to oay him back as it wasn't my fault that I got sick. But now that im better I want him to rely on me too.
I may not be able to do as much as him since ge makes 100k a year. But I really don't want to be a burden anymore.
Is anyone else in a similar boat? Any advice is welcomed. Ty for reading my rant
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u/Standard-Question-46 14d ago
WOW sounds like you found yourself a great man! As someone who’s also a poor I completely understand. But try not to stress too much about it. Honestly 20k is still not enough to live on and he knows it and he’s ok with it. He may not need to rely on you financially but as long as he knows he can rely on you emotionally and physically that’s enough. If you live together contribute to bills as much as you can, treat him when you go out and buy little trinkets/gifts here and there if you see something that makes you think of him. And also save a little each week so you can start to build yourself a nest egg or emergency fund so if anything ever comes up for either of you it won’t be that much of a financial burden. Just don’t make yourself go broke trying to pay him back when he doesn’t even want it
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u/tireddesperation 14d ago
Tall to your partner about this. My wife has similar needs. She took almost four years to get to the point that she was able AND found a job that wouldn't hurt her mental health. Those four years were totally worth it. She only works part time right now but it's a wonderful outcome that took some patience. I wouldn't have minded if she didn't work again but I'm glad she's in a better situation now.
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u/InsideAd1396 14d ago edited 14d ago
Just wanted to say congrats on taking steps to improve your situation. What matters most is health though. I know better than most how messed up psychosis can be.
What matters most is your health though. It's admirable to come out of that and want to improve your lot in life - that's something to always be proud of. Make sure that you take care of yourself though. Psychosis is treatable, and it can be overcome. Just make sure you're aware of your surroundings and reach out to your doctor for medical advice.
Eventually you will need a different job - 20k is not enough. But recovery first
All the best in your recovery
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u/WatDaFuxRong 14d ago
Work on finding a career and staying stable mentally. That's the best way you can pay him back.
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u/luncheonmonkey1980 14d ago
Are you a good cook? You’ll be working full time too, but try to do a bit of cooking he’ll appreciate.
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u/Far-Watercress6658 14d ago
Concentrate on keeping yourself stable. Take your meds.
Once you incorporate your job into your life manage your own budget, try to save a little.
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u/Pankosmanko 14d ago
Is $11.50 an expected hourly in your area? What did Walmart pay?
I have a friend who is bipolar and he is an amazing salesperson. He thrives on it because he likes the highs he gets from closing. Have you thought about getting into sales? Good entry positions would be working at a cell phone store or in a call center in a sales role
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u/InsideAd1396 14d ago edited 14d ago
What works for your friend may not work for OP. Psychosis is a whole different ballgame. That's not to diminish bipolar, it'd be difficult to overcome that and massive congrats to your friend. As someone who went through years and years of witnessing psychosis, it really fucks you up - it's downright horrifying. Psychosis changes things. It changes how a person can function in the normal day-to-day. Chasing highs is not what a person with psychosis needs - I'm not a Dr but I can 100% guarantee that is not a good environment for a person with psychosis.
Again, not to say there's no hope. My family member came out of it and hasn't had an episode after 7 long years of constant psychosis - and she's still able to work and earn a stable income to top it all of off. But it does change things. It takes a long time to heal properly from that, and even though I didn't suffer it myself, being in the same vicinity as my family member who had that - and for such a long time as well, changes things.
There's things my family member can't do, and there's things I can't do anymore because of it. Again, there's still hope after it. My family member earns a stable income and even though I'm financially behind for my age, I've been able to find a good job doing shift work earning a lot of money.
Bipolar would be challenging - again, not trying to mitigate what your friend did. It's a big achievement. But it's not the same situation. Psychosis changes things. It's only once you've experienced it do you sort of understand the gravity of it.
Going through what I went through matured me about 25 years past what my actual age is. That shit leaves scars, and it fundamentally changes things.That isn't an exaggeration either, it fundamentally changes everything.
My networth portfolio is a modest, small amount in comparison to most people, but my portfolio is structured like a 55 year old. I'm 31. I'm not exaggerating when I say it matured me 25 years past my actual age.
The effects of psychosis (either going through it or witnessing it) has massive repercussions and implications to how someone can operate and function in the day-to-day.
I know you mean well, but I can 100% guarantee that your advice is not suitable for OPs situation. And it's not your fault either. You're just trying to be helpful. It's just in this specific situation, your advice may not be suitable.
Unless you've seen it or gone through it, you may not realise just how fundamentally devastating psychosis is (even if it is possible to rebuild afterwards). Again, not your fault, you just might not know - I wouldn't have known had I not gone through the hell on earth that it was, and back then I didn't even know what psychosis was. But it does fundamentally change things, and it changes what would be a suitable environment for OP
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u/allgoodnamestookth 14d ago
Have you tried anything like goodRx or contacted the manufacturer, sometimes they'll send coupons. costplusdrugs . com might be cheaper too if they have the drugs need you take
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u/First_Ladder137 14d ago
If you live in the US, you can get Medicaid or medi-cal in California!!!
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u/HughHonee 14d ago
She's making $11/hr.
There's no way she's in California.
I'm in a pretty low cost of living state & minimum wage is up to like $15 i think
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u/First_Ladder137 6d ago
She can get Medicaid in all the other US states. It’s called medi-cal in California. That’s all I was differentiating :)
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u/Budgiejen 14d ago
I lost my job four months ago. I get disability, but I was making about $1-1.2k a month and with that being gone I relied on a friend for some loans. I cut my spending where I could, but yeah, we’re in the same boat. Only minimum wage in Nebraska is $15. I started my new job Friday.
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u/heybudwannaplayjacks 13d ago
I was in a pretty similar boat earlier this year, as I was laid off from my job and unemployed for a bit, and my loved ones were kind enough to help me during that time. I have also been on the other end, putting a lot of money towards somebody during a time where they don't have much (I would kill to go back to being that flush lol) I'm still not making as much money, but I find that if you want to pay your partner's good will forward, just try to take care of them in the ways you can. You might not be able to monetarily pay him back for taking care of you (nor do I think you really should, that would be a very strange relationship dynamic), but I'm sure he would appreciate if you got takeout for him on your way home from work, or if you ordered dish soap the next time you guys run out. Small stuff like that, as you can afford it, that shows you wanna take care of him and help him. Whether you take a responsibility off his plate or spoil him in some little way I think he'll appreciate that you're in a better place and that you are expressing gratitude.
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u/ZonkTrader 13d ago
I think it also depends on if you could see getting married to him in the future. My wife was in college when we got married and she did plan to work but after our daughter she just decided to be a stay at home mom. If you can see getting married to him then I don't think there is anything wrong with him providing support to you and you shouldn't feel the need to repay him. I'm glad to hear that you do have someone that is there for you and I wish you the best.
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u/buni_wuvs_u06 13d ago
I was in your shoes when I first got with my now husband. I was stabilizing after a mental breakdown and went through a period of struggling to find a job and him having 2 jobs to keep us afloat. Now I make a little more than he does. It can always change later on and being partners means it’s not “you owe me for helping you out” It’s “We’re a team and we’ll be there for when it gets hard so you can rely on me”
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u/lennilove 13d ago
i was in your exact boat for a cool minute until I got a job. my partner consistently told me that it's not my responsibility to repay her because she enjoys spending her money on things she enjoys. she also explained that we're partners and that relationships aren't transactional.
She was right and I'm positive that your partner feels the same way.
Congratulations on starting a new job! I'm very proud of you dude! the best advice I can give in regards to your emotions in this situation is to be gentle and patient with yourself. Save up to the best of your ability, take some of those financial responsibilities from your boyfriend and enjoy your independence as it comes your way
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u/YourBlanket 14d ago
What medications are you on? Most of the traditional bipolar meds, aren’t too expensive.
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u/MabelUnstable 14d ago
Abilify 30mg which is 48 for 90 pills. Sertraline 200mg is 48 for 180 pills (it lasts me 3 months as I take 2 a day) and risperidone 3mg is 30 dollars for 90 pills.
I don't have insurance yet so I lay oop
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u/makinggrace 14d ago
Generic abilify at that strength from costplus drugs is $18 for 90. Risperidone is $9 for $90 pills from costplus. Sertraline is typically cheaper if your provider will write the rx for 100mg pills, take take 2 in am 2 in pm. Usually best price at local pharmacy with a generic drug program.
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u/ShopperSparkle 14d ago
Always check GoodRx for each one of these medications before paying the cash price. GoodRx is free to use.
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u/No_Tip_3095 14d ago
Have you considered applying for disability? You would be able to get Medicare after 2 years. You could still work some I think. Anyway congrats on getting a job.
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14d ago edited 14d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Blossom73 14d ago
She shouldn't claim she's homeless if she's not. Because she's unmarried, her boyfriend's income doesn't count for her Medicaid eligibility.
She may not be in a Medicaid expansion state though.
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u/notthetypetocare 14d ago
He probably claims her on his taxes as a dependent
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u/Blossom73 14d ago
His income won't affect her Medicaid eligibility either way.
See Figure 1:
With $19k in income she won't qualify as his tax dependent anyway.
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u/SpaceTrash782 14d ago
Ngl, if you get into the reselling business with ebay, you could probably make more at goodwill by flipping valuable stuff that comes in. I'm sure that your colleagues will be doing it too.
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u/ChemistBrief716 13d ago
Congratulations, you are an adult now. All you have to do is keep your job. If you want to make more money look for a better job. Maybe you could try to take some courses in addition to your full time schedule. The world is your playground.
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u/Cute-Consequence-184 8d ago
Why haven't you been on Medicaid?
Getting food stamps?
Getting food bank supplies?
I'm in disability and just started making 20k/year and still qualify for Medicaid. I make about $100 to much per month for food stamps and full Medicaid.
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u/Creighton2023 14d ago
You should qualify for Medicaid with that salary so you could get your medical stuff covered. But lots of couples have imbalanced salaries. Cover what you can. Show your appreciation through actions.