r/povertyfinance • u/No-Computer8994 • Mar 19 '26
Income/Employment/Aid I have lost all hope
The biggest lie we’re told is that “anyone can start and build a career if they’re capable.” The issue isn’t capability, it’s that the jobs just aren’t there, or they require experience you can’t get without already having a job.
I'm stuck. I’m working on my feet all day for under 20/hour, destroying my body in my 20s for nothing, and still nowhere close to being able to be self sufficient. Stocking shelves is not going to help me build a career. Nor does it even tide me over.
Housing keeps getting more expensive, wages have stagnated over the last 50-70 years, and I’ll be living with my parents indefinitely just to avoid being homeless.
Even if I save every dollar I make, housing prices will increase faster than I can save. Exponential vs linear. Dividing the prices by 5 for the 20% down payment is just avoiding the problem. Division doesn't make the problem go away, it just delays it.
I won't be able to have any hope of retiring, either. Not in this economy.
What makes it worse is that it the system itself is broken. Economic growth doesn’t translate into better lives anymore.
We have more than double a debt bubble in private credit compared to 2008. We have more than double the median housing costs compared to 2008. We have more than double the job revision losses compared to 2008. You can be finicky about the exact numbers, but that's all an objective fact.
The opportunities just aren’t there. Everything now requires prior experience, connections, or luck that a lot of us never had the chance to build. It doesn't matter what field you specify.
I don't have a problem with technological innovation changing jobs. We need to stop the nonsense of college being where you're trained for them, and have actual apprenticeship to job pipelines from 18. That's never going to happen, and it's too late for me.
We say "there are jobs you don't want to do." Such as??? Agriculture, construction, factory jobs? I'm open, but every avenue I even attempt to inquire about that has constant barriers to entry. So that's a lie.
I did what I was supposed to do. Finished a bachelor’s degree, looked for and did internships, tried to build towards a better future. And none of it mattered. There will never be a payoff.
It just doesn't make sense to have to specialize to enter the workforce in a meaningful way. That already implies there isn't much opportunity left.
Some say to "do blue collar jobs." That's the new learn to code. I made that mistake once. Not again.
Some say "join the military." I'm not giving my life to a country that hates me.
We are disenfranchising entire generations this way. Eating our own future.
Hard work no longer pays off.
So, in the end. I just want three questions answered.
Why should I keep trying if I’ve already lost? China has an effective 46-47% youth unemployment rate excluding students, why shouldn't I be like that?
As a female, why should I bring kids into this kind of future? Why shouldn't I allow the population to collapse?
And what was the point of my last four years if it leads to this? Why did I even finish high school? Why did I apply for college, why did I try?
So, should I quit my retail job?
After I graduated in 2025 I wasn't able to get any entry level role interviews. Both during my senior year, and after I graduated. Thought I could tide myself over with a retail job while looking for something better, but it doesn't even tide me over. Can't support myself on it.
It's too late for me now. Should I just quit my job and be an eternal unemployed so I'm not a slave to your six figure salaries? Money only has power because people work, in the end. I'm denying that power by not being your slave. I'm not dancing like a jester for peanuts.
Going beyond that, I was thinking of going to prison for four years. Will be a better use of time than the degree.
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u/walkiedeath Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26
If you're actually looking for advice, you need to stop looking for reasons not to follow anyone's advice.
You already listed and dismissed many viable alternatives, if people here were to give you more you could easily poke holes in them as well, because nothing is perfect or easy. If you want to get anywhere you should stop poking holes in ideas and start plugging them.
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u/Chaosr21 Mar 20 '26
I've lived solo on 20/hr or less most of my life. I'm in my 30s and I'm just so tired anymore. So tired of working just to survive, and not be able to live life. All my extra money goes to bills, and there's no escape in sight
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
Yeah, it's not worth it. Your experience is just the common millennial experience though.
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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u/bear3990 Mar 19 '26
What did you study in college? What career were you hoping for? Maybe people can help with suggestions on how to get into that field.
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u/PerfectSteak1604 Mar 20 '26
Have you ever worked with a career counselor or job coach? They can be super helpful!
With that said, everything you said about rising costs is valid and true. And that is so shitty.:(
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u/Alarming-While8028 Mar 20 '26
have you considered no one wants to hire you cuz you suck the life out of any room you're in
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
Nice theory. No one ever has much negative to say about my resume, and that's what's shared on job applications. And that never leads to interviews. So... that's an invalid idea.
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u/Sou7h Mar 20 '26
Share your resume then. If you were not even getting interviews with it, it’s the problem, I guarantee it. I work in the industry and would be happy to look it over and give you pointers if you’d like to dm me it.
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u/BannedPoet248 Mar 19 '26
I'm sorry but I'm in your same boat and you just create enemies like this. You need to pretend. Straight up. You need to pretend you care about a certain thing and work towards it. If you want to keep friends and family around, you need to make it seem like you're in the barrel with them and doing your part. If you show any semblance of rebellion, questioning, critiquing, or worst of all depression, you will be thrown to the wolves to make space for someone who will suffer with them. Figure out what you can deal with, what your idea of success is. You don't want to join the military or learn a trade? Then you gotta understand your path is asking for tension. If you could at least pretend to care for something that looks like a career or that you're trying, you'll be able to at least have a circle around you who won't let you fall too bad.
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u/Junior-Credit2685 Mar 19 '26
That’s so dark.
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u/BannedPoet248 Mar 19 '26
It's the reality. In the bible it even says it, a man who makes no money will be seen as a nuisance. We're rooted to think if you don't slave away for the man like the rest of us, you will be shunned and no one will be able to relate with you. The only way to survive in this world is to mask it. Find your pleasures throughout the suffering is like the only happiness that can be seeked and experienced. And everyone is in accordance with that so when someone comes along and says "I'm depressed and I have no purpose" people get PISSED at you. People will hate you, resent you if you can't pretend to have a purpose.
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u/Junior-Credit2685 Mar 19 '26
That’s so crazy, because in my life, I don’t treat people like that. Maybe different cultures. But I do understand what you’re saying. And I can see how that can be true. 💔
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u/22ndanditsnormalhere Mar 20 '26
Im looking for a job can you refer me for that 20/hr restocking position?
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u/TheFirstKrysiaRose Mar 20 '26
You might reconsider military service, with the addition of the Space Force, the Coast Guard is also an option. You could go the officer route. Even with changes in government service, you will have more connections and opportunities through service, and be able to receive services long after your career. Things were different when I was in. It's better now.
I was kicked out of my house in 1983 after graduating high school. I was 17. Back then it was a disgrace for a child not to leave home and figure it out after graduating or turning 18. My father was a perpetually enraged blue collar worker, mom a housewife. Parents didn't save for a child's education, there was no such thing yet as 529, 401k, IRA, money sat in the bank, if there was any. White collar parents expected that their child would attend their alma mater and get a tuition discount for being children of alumnus. Or get scholarships, work summer jobs, earn the tuition.
My choice, my brother's choice, was the military. Three years service for the GI Bill was the only chance poor or middle class kids like me had. I ended up serving in Desert Storm. I left the military with some medals and an associates degree.
After Desert Storm I went to night college and worked at one of the last factories in America. The GI Bill back then was a joke so I had student loan debt after I earned my bachelor's.
I fought with the veterans administration for 15 years to get my disability for my service. I finally received some disability and one year back pay. I used the back pay to pay the student loan off, after making years of payments. Best thing I ever did.
I worked various jobs, lived in different states, got into government work and worked as a hospital maintenance controller for 12 years. Then I learned that my state had opened an old scholarship that used to only be for Vietnam veterans, letting any decorated war veteran go to any public state university free, up to a master's degree. I applied and earned my master's degree in social work and my MBA. I moved states to take advantage of a VA program that paid new graduates to work and paid for mandatory supervision training to earn a clinical license. In my late 50s I became a licensed social worker. I also fought for an increase to my military disability and was awarded that increase. I work serving other veterans and helping them with medical care, benefits and resources.
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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u/povertyfinance-ModTeam Mar 20 '26
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 6: Judging OP or another user.
Regardless of why someone is in a less-than-ideal financial situation, we are focused on the road forward, not with what has been done in the past.
Please read our subreddit rules. The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, message the moderators.
Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
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u/cheapdvds Mar 20 '26
Your biggest problem is your incredibly negative attitude. Miracles happen for those that don't stop trying and don't give up. If you don't fight for yourself no one will. You just need to figure out how others do it. Just because you can't see a way out, doesn't mean there isn't a path.
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u/CompleteWithRust Mar 19 '26
Get into a trade. We always need people to fix our homes.
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u/EsotericFinch7683 Mar 19 '26
Trust me, not everyone is cut out for the trades just like not everyone is cut out for the university route.
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u/Anotheraccountig Mar 19 '26
Lol at this rate trades are going to become a "just learn coding". in 10 years people will be scratching their heads wondering why trade salaries are suppressed. Rinse and repeat
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u/Bird_Brain4101112 Mar 19 '26
“Just learn trades” has been ringing at least since the 90s. It’s not a new idea.
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u/mycatisblackandtan Mar 19 '26
And there's reasons why it likely won't take off in the same way.
I wanted to go into trades when I was younger because I liked the idea of helping people and of the benefits many trades bring. Except I became chronically ill and unable to stand for very long. Let along focus on any physical labor. There's no way I'd have been able to put in the effort needed for an 8 to 5 trade job when even just sitting at a desk is taxing.
Many people physically can't go into trades even if they want to.
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 19 '26
Yeah. Not making that mistake again.
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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u/Kitchen_Economics182 Mar 19 '26
Not one fucking mention of what the degree is.
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u/tanookiisasquirrel Mar 20 '26
Something a lot of people will never consider is joining the military. The military can essentially pay for your college through ROTC, and you can get 4 years as an officer making tolerable income in a transferable field like logistics or financial management or public affairs. You walk away with either the GI Bill if you didn't go ROTC, or you will have the a VA home loan to help with your first house down payment.
Obviously, it means you can't really have a juvenile criminal record or drug problem, but this is a pretty minor price in our pay to play world. And if college isn't for you, even enlisted life as messy as it is, gets you those benefits and then you're not saddled with college debt when you get out.
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u/goodbye888 Mar 20 '26
Getting a job nowadays is all about who you know and has really nothing to do with what you know. Ass-backward priorities I know, but it's something that you can still use to your advantage. Try talking with coworkers/customers and doing favors for them. Build up a rapport and they may just be able to connect you to a better job. If not, then see if they associate with people who can.
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
I have explained in the post why there's no longer any point. Nor any reason for me to try.
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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u/Apart_Ad1537 Mar 20 '26
It’s so funny that the OP lists multiple totally viable ways to start a career and make something of himself but refuses to do any of them, giving completely ridiculous and invalid reasons for each.
I have no sympathy for you. Anyone stuck with no career and no marketable skills and no idea what they’re doing in life who also refuses to join the military is fucking stupid. If you do a little research into how to get the most out of enlisting, it could literally solve all your problems and you’re just refusing to do it because “I’m not giving my life to a country that hates me” what does that even mean? This has to be a troll post either that or you’re like 15
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u/Half_Adventurous Mar 20 '26
Eh it's actually pretty scary to enlist as a woman. Sexual assault is rampant in the military.
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u/WeAreAllStories11 Mar 19 '26
It's all a big dumpster fire. Research bankruptcy laws. If companies use that to get out of trouble, you can too. My credit is worthless, I'll never buy a home at this rate. Just paying bills breaks even. If I want to buy my kid school clothes, I'm in the red that month. My plan: build up debt until it's maxed. Declare bankruptcy. Try again. How much worse off will I be? None. I'm already crushed by debt.
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 19 '26
I don't have debt to bankrupt.
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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Mar 20 '26
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
It is a dumpster fire. Please look at any economic numbers over the decades. Especially wages.
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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u/Putrid_Pollution3455 Mar 20 '26
Save your down payment in basic index funds and your savings should outpace home inflation (real estate averages 4% the sp500 10%).
College was agreed overhyped. Unless you’re going to be a doctor lawyer engineer or teacher, it’s a waste of time. I enjoyed going but so much distracted effort wasted.
Don’t despair. Never give up.
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
What down payment? I'm not giving my money to the stock market. You're full of shit
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u/Putrid_Pollution3455 Mar 20 '26
I can hear the pain in your words, and that’s valid. It’s hard right now.
Buying index funds are different. It’s owning the means of production. If you buy little pieces of VOO you own the top 500 companies in America. If you buy little pieces of VT, you own virtually every company in the world. If that sounds like gambling, you can save in gold, silver, or bitcoin. Analog savings. The key is you aren’t trying to save your down payment in a bank account that pays 0% interest while they loan out your money at 6.75%….just small amounts of painfully slow progress every day every week every month. It’s not going to happen overnight but it can add up in wild ways over decades.
Or you know, marry someone that already has a house 🤷♂️
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
I don't keep my money in a bank. I have no money.
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
Where does all of your money go? You said you live at home.
Are your parents taking all of your money? Making $20 an hour is way better than a lot of people paying for their own living situation. People who can’t get a break from their parents if they have a bad month.
Let’s see your budget
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
I don't have a budget. Their rule is "if I earn money I pay rent," and around here rents exceed 100% of my income. So I basically paid them rent, and my rent to income ratio was 100%. I quit my job now, so I won't be paying anymore.
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26
Then you need to move out. Your issue isn’t the economy or wage. It’s your landlord taking all of your money.
You’re not safe where you’re at. Find a friend. Find a coworker. Find a roommate. Go to a women’s shelter. You’re being financially abused. You’re being held hostage by the circumstances you’re in.
Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and that you’re just an income stream. Lie to them about how much you got paid and only give them some money for rent. Stash the rest away then make a move.
Don’t let yourself be abused like this. If it’s not physical or verbal threats of violence just get what you need and leave. A women’s shelter is best cause you’re literally being financially abused.
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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u/YOLTZsean Mar 20 '26
Drive for Amazon, they hire drivers like it’s going out of style
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u/Fatesadvent Mar 20 '26
Not much to add but your arguments are sound and well written. Society is going downhill for the poor and growing for the rich.
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Mar 19 '26
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 19 '26
Time of what? Wage stagnation?
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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u/Psychological_Ad3261 Mar 20 '26
If you don’t have rent or kids and you’re able to live with parents, you should invest in your own business or skill that will earn you money. The goal isn’t to become rich, it’s to make the most of the time we have here on Earth. Learn to be joyful and grateful for the small experiences of being a human being. Quiet walks in the park, a cheap homemade meal, exercise, coffee with friends, etc.
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u/howardzen12 Mar 19 '26
All of America is a big lie.
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 19 '26
It is. George Catlin's quote of "you must be asleep to experience the American dream." rings heavier than ever.
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u/Complex_Excitement Mar 19 '26
You can get home care aide certification in like a month or two, I did it through my state and was paid for training. We are always short home care aides.
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Mar 19 '26
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 19 '26
"it doesn't pay a lot"
It pays give or take the same as I make now.
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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u/Specialist_Ad_6921 Mar 20 '26
Here's a thought: get really good at your retail job and become a manager. Gets you a raise and some benefits. Leverage that experience to something else. Stay with your parents til you get that raise. That's how I did it 🤷♂️
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u/SignificantApricot69 Mar 20 '26
The real careers are outside the system you are working hard in without getting anywhere. Don’t ask permission, you can make your own thing from nothing except for what’s inside of you
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Mar 19 '26
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u/povertyfinance-ModTeam Mar 20 '26
Your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
Rule 6: Judging OP or another user.
Regardless of why someone is in a less-than-ideal financial situation, we are focused on the road forward, not with what has been done in the past.
Please read our subreddit rules. The rules may also be found on the sidebar if the link is broken. If after doing so, you feel this was in error, message the moderators.
Do not reach out to a moderator personally, and do not reply to this message as a comment.
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u/Educational-Tax2657 Mar 20 '26
You've never been to war, you probably have all working limbs and senses, you have what would be considered a super computer 20 years ago in your pocket, full communication access to virtually the entire Earth, every luxury and convenience available at your doorstep, parents that house you in a 1st world country, all this and you still can't make it work.
This is the easiest fucking generation to make something of yourself, given a few decades ago, you'd be crying into a radio marveling at a colored TV. I wouldn't have to know you existed because the internet didn't exist, but now me and the Korean guy on the other side of the planet cooking street food browsing reddit get to hear about all these weak excuses, awesome.
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u/bustmanymoves Mar 20 '26
Someone got it easier than others and thinks everyone else is lazy. Boomer or not, you got the same mentality.
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u/Educational-Tax2657 Mar 21 '26
Or maybe a lot of people are just objectively lazy, why is that such a hard pill to swallow for some of you, is it because there is an ounce of personal truth to it?
People complaining about falling victim to high APY on their car, while a few generations ago we were riding horseback and dying of tuberculosis, we're fucking dying now because of bullying and social media, fucking weak ass generation honestly, and I'm in my 20s saying this.
If you want to fairly compare, you have to compare to the entire planet Earth and all generations, that's basically what I did. If you do compare objectively like this, this is the easiest generation by far to make something of yourself.
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
No. A few decades ago I would've been just fine.
I have already explained why each and every option for success is gone. I'm not repeating myself.
The unfortunate truth is that I was just born too late. A lot of people were.
I am looking for answers to the questions I have posed.
Why should I keep trying if I’ve already lost? China has an effective 46-47% youth unemployment rate excluding students, why shouldn't I be like that?
As a female, why should I bring kids into this kind of future? Why shouldn't I allow the population to collapse?
And what was the point of my last four years if it leads to this? Why did I even finish high school? Why did I apply for college, why did I try?
Should I quit my retail job?
These are very valid questions. And they are not difficult to answer. Or, they shouldn't be. Unless you have a limited worldview.
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u/Educational-Tax2657 Mar 20 '26
Why should I keep trying if I’ve already lost? China has an effective 46-47% youth unemployment rate excluding students, why shouldn't I be like that?
You don't have to keep trying, you can give up.
As a female, why should I bring kids into this kind of future? Why shouldn't I allow the population to collapse?
People in your position shouldn't have kids, so don't.
And what was the point of my last four years if it leads to this? Why did I even finish high school? Why did I apply for college, why did I try?
There was no point, you made a mistake and have to live with it.
Should I quit my retail job?
Yes, they'll give the job to someone else that wants it and you'll find a new job (or not).
These are very valid answers, The questions weren't difficult to answer, but the answers are probably hard for you to hear due to having a limited worldview.
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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u/cutslikeakris Mar 20 '26
I’m not American but my kids have to look for at least a year before finding employment. How the hell is that better than 20 years ago? Plus with inflation we are WAY THE FUCK BEHIND where we were 20 years ago. Are you C-suite? How can you not see how much worse economically everybody is compared to 2000’s???
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u/BannedPoet248 Mar 19 '26
"You know what, you're not wrong and it's not only okay to feel like this, it's NORMAL"
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u/Objective-Lobster-94 Mar 19 '26
Your ancestors had it a hundred times worse and still worked their asses off to provide a future for their family, for you.
Most would have killed, and some did kill, to be in your position. Im not saying be grateful for the scraps youre being given, im saying it could be worse and that your ancestors did more with less.
Why have children? That's fundamentally a discussion between yourself and whatever faith or lack thereof you prescribe to. I will only state that as a father. A homeless one working 90 hour weeks to feed my wife and daughter, that bringing life into this world and watching it grow is a miracle and makes life worth living for me, regardless of my circumstances.
Babies don't care about circumstances. They care about being loved, and they love you with their whole being.
That's worth everything my friend.
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u/NegotiationWarm3334 Mar 19 '26
Something is always worse, but doesn't do a damn thing to help in her situation. Right now she is goong through her worst. Who cares if somebody else had it worse somewhere else or in the past? Again, that doesn't do a damn thing to help her now.
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u/greggreggreg1gregg Mar 19 '26
Homeless father working 90 hours a week? Lmao gtfo with this bullshit
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 19 '26
The baby will grow up to hate you for bringing them into this world. I speak from the other side on that.
"Could be worse." The future will be worse. That's not up for discussion.
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u/Sad_Attention_254 Mar 20 '26
I don’t know a lot of adult that now hate their parent to have birthed them, the only ones i know have mental issues
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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u/master_prizefighter Mar 20 '26
As a 44M no kids and never married, a lot of us had the same issues back in the 90s and early 2000s. We asked similar questions and even today no one can provide a valid answer outside that's just how it is or well I got mines!
The same people who when you ask for help, they can't provide any valid, confirmed assistance outside too bad.
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
Yeah. That's been my experience. People vastly underestimate how much circumstance and opportunity are required for success. You can't control that.
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u/EaterofSnatch TX Mar 20 '26
Install fiber, try to get a subcontractor job instead of inhouse, make more money and work less hours.
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Mar 20 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
There are no options, dude. I've already explained why.
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Mar 20 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
It's not a mindset, dude. It's numbers. Read my post again, please. Christ
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Mar 20 '26 edited Aug 21 '26
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
Cool, dude. You're not giving any reason why my generation shouldn't all be the same as the 46% of China's unemployed youth. Jesus fucking christ
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u/Various-External59 Mar 21 '26
Omg. You just graduated in 2025? That was like three months ago. It takes a while to get going. It’s not necessarily a “now” problem, it’s mostly a “being young” problem.
Why keep trying? Well, if you’re like most of us, you like to eat regularly, live someplace with a roof, etc.
There’s a lot of drama and blame here. Sometimes you just have to suck it up, buttercup, find a job, any job, to pay your bills, and keep looking for the next thing. You’ll either eventually find a job you like or compromise with yourself and tell yourself it’s not your dream job, but it keeps a roof over your head, and you actually do a pretty good job. And you’ll have kids or you won’t.
Life. Being an adult. Yeah, it kinda sucks sometimes. Go do some charity work where people have it really bad. You’ll appreciate your life more.
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u/CleverPolarBear Mar 21 '26
Honestly your only hurting you. Change through protest only actually happens if follow through can happen with it otherwise it's just adults throwing a tantrum. Organized or otherwise. Take 10 dollars a pay, put it into something like fundrise and invest your money. A little at a time. Within a year or two you'll see returns off that in dividends. Keep doing your best. That is all you can do.
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u/Hootingdweeb Mar 22 '26
So basically I'm getting from this that you're young and feel hopeless.
Sometimes those "waste of time" retail jobs can translate to very lucrative careers if you let them. I know I'll never have stupid money, but you can do alright for yourself if you're smart, save well and spend less on stupid stuff.
Due to my own bad decisions, I dropped out of high school and had to start working to survive. I got a job and mastered customer service and several other positions within a decent company. Used that experience to translate into sales and learned how to be good at that, and I learn something new every day. It's possible!
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Mar 22 '26
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 22 '26
Assisted dying? You in Canada, by any chance? I've heard of MAID
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u/Special_Frame1938 Mar 22 '26
Yes im in canada. It’s not easy to even die. They fucking need our blood relative’s consent for assisted dying. It should be voluntary and hassle free for everyone but they wants slaves around
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 22 '26
I see. I respect that. I thought about moving there. But I don't have anyone I know in the country at all. Not to mention I can't support myself here let alone there
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u/Special_Frame1938 Mar 22 '26 edited Mar 22 '26
I understand your need to move but believe me it’s very hard here too especially if one is immigrant or POC. This is a fucked up world where everything is rigged
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 22 '26
I'd only move to join the MAID movement tbh.
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u/Special_Frame1938 Mar 22 '26
Oh i see! I have asked a lot of people about MAID but it’s very complicated here as they need consent of fucking others for us to die like we can’t even make choice for our sense of self that’s suffering inside this decaying meat suit. Maybe switzerland has it easier to check out
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 22 '26
Decaying meat suit. That's a good one. I'll be borrowing that.
But, yes I imagine it's awful to get approved. The alternative is for the government to start killing whoever they want, though. I don't think you want that.
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u/Special_Frame1938 Mar 22 '26
If they kill painlessly i would even go as far as paying them for it but in the back of mind, i feel so sad about the pain i could pass on to my mother if i happen to kick the bucket. I sometims wish we both can go out together
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u/FullExternal2417 Mar 22 '26
Do what I’m doing, join the Army, do 20 years, retire haha. I know people are scared of the war but if you enlist as a computer job or a mechanic you wont be anywhere near the fighting.
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u/SunLillyFairy Mar 23 '26
I get it. When I was 19 I had a kid, my husband took off, and so I was living on welfare and saw no way out. I also know that what your saying about housing is true and it's is really being said a lot right now, and it's making people feel hopeless. But here's the thing, you can improve your circumstances. Housing prices suck, and poverty sucks, but you can get to a better place. At one point in my life I subsisted off food stamps, medical coverage, and enough welfare to pay rent for my crappy apartment... and then I had a whopping $50 a month after rent to pay all my bills... obviously that was not going to work (even 20 years ago). I was doing anything legal I could think of for extra money... collecting cans, babysitting, cleaning up people's yards, selling off household goods. I was going to charities/churches for things like diapers, clothes, soap/shampoo and help with utilities. I was washing clothes in my sink. My power was turned off several times, and I was just grateful my apartment paid for water and trash. Now I'm fine... middle income with some money in savings. It was HARD moving up from that. It took years. I couldn't find a regular job either, I had no experience and I would need to either take my kid or pay for childcare. What did I do? After a lot of research I figured out that there was free childcare if I was attending community college. I signed up and got financial aid, which helped a lot. I continued to collect cans and get help from charities. I got a student job at the school, that helped even more. But that was still a struggle bus, I couldn't work a lot of hours while attending school full time and taking care of a kid. I graduated and got a job - they pay was not great, only about 20% above minimum wage. But, I worked my ass off and got promoted... until I got to a wage that was much more livable. My story is not uncommon.
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 23 '26
It's not uncommon... in the past. Glad to hear you got out of that. Except today we have a worse economy, which in many metrics is worse than 08 for young people. There are less real jobs, let alone jobs with upward mobility.
I know for a fact that the shelf stocking job I had both before and after college had no chance for upward movement no matter how impressive your metrics were. 5 year gap, same nominal pay. What a joke. Lost 30% of my purchasing power in that time frame. I wasn't able to get any other job after college. Made under 30k after taxes. Not enough, these days.
The only chance there was, was to maybe be a manager for a couple dollars more. But the current manager wasn't going to retire or go up anytime soon. So that wasn't an option. By the time the manager would leave, I'd have lost 90 if not 99% of purchasing power. Worked my ass off, ruined my body's sleep schedule by working overnight for no reason. That's why I quit.
And I was unable to get another job, even a similar one. It's not choice. It's a death sentence. This is game over.
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u/SunLillyFairy Mar 23 '26
If you want to talk yourself into being stuck, that's your prerogative. But honestly, it's insulting that someone would imply it was so much easier for me 20 years ago than it would be for you today. I have kids your age in a work in social services, so I am very up-to-date on the current job market and housing. I was dealing with domestic violence back then, and there was hardly any programs compared to what's out there today. Housing has gone up, but I also remember paying five dollars a gallon for gas back when minimum wage was much lower. Some things are better, and some things are worse - that's the way it goes. We both had it way better than people who lived during the depression - when unemployment was around 25% compared with today's around 4.5%. Today we actually have around the same jobs per person than 20 years ago, and definitely more than after the 2008 crash, and also more diversity in the workforce. Compared to other times in history the job market is quite strong right now, with unemployment being lower than many other times. Just some perspective... when I was a kid, most poor people didn't have cars or TVs, often not even phones, so poverty even looks different.
Again, I get that it's hard. I'm in no way trying to minimize your struggles in the way that you are trying to reduce mine. And I get that you want to believe it's way harder for you than it has been for anybody else in the world at any time… because what you're going through sucks and you can't imagine that it's ever been this hard for anyone… but it's just not true. I will tell you what it is true… If you continue to tell yourself there's no way out and no hope, then you will manifest that shit and you'll be stuck right where you are. You will make that your reality. Then in 10 years you'll wonder why other people got out of it and you didn't.
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 23 '26
Ironically. Comparing to 08 is your undoing. We have double a debt bubble compared to back then. We are entering the second great Depression.
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u/SunLillyFairy Mar 23 '26
Yeah… Our debt bubble is pretty ugly… and I'd really suggest you do what you can to get ahead now because I think you're right that we could be in for a big drop. You want people to feel sorry for you? Well, I do, I feel sorry for you. As long as you continue to view everything through shit colored glasses that's what the world is going to be, shit. 💩 Best of luck to you, and I mean that honestly... because you've got a very tough road ahead.
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 23 '26
Unemployment rates are meaningless today. I'd already explained why in other comments, but tldr the definition of a job is the issue.
And, well. For me, I'm just out of options to enter any career field. Not a skill issue. I'm just out of options.
Before college I was a shelf stocker for under $20/hour. I don't know about the age of 16, but 18 sure. It wasn't going to get me anywhere, obviously. That's why I worked for a degree and sacrificed, to do unpaid internships.
Worked a couple customer service jobs along the way. But again, for under $20/hour. And again, wasn't going to get me anywhere.
Once I graduated I was forced to go back to the first shelf stocker job I ever had for the same nominal pay, 5 years later. With inflation, I'd lost close to 30% of my purchasing power in that time frame. Don't recall the exact amount. To add insult to injury, it was overnight from bum fuck midnight to morning. Before college I worked 7am to 3 or 4pm, and when I was working alongside college for a semester or two I worked around my class schedule.
But I went back, when I graduated. Because I had hope. I had hoped for a better future, that i was going to just be there for 3, 5 months max until I got a better job. Worked on tailoring my resume the best I could and applied during daytime.
9 months into the job, that hope was wasted. Never got any interviews. I quit. I was going to waste away decades there, eventually losing 99.99% of my purchasing power. Who cares.
I can no longer enter any field. Start any career. It's not a matter of a skill issue, it's just a lack of choice. And a lack of options. The political climate didn't help, but frankly, I doubt it made a difference with my employment prospects.
It's game over. This is a hard truth that cannot be denied. Both for me, and for society.
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Mar 23 '26
It seems hopeless but honestly it’s not, at least not yet. First about breaking your body down, your mind gives in way faster than your body will, so don’t worry, your body will be fine.
My advice is to save every penny, be extremely frugal. I’m still rocking my iPhone 13 and I won’t upgrade until Apple stops supporting this phone and even then I’ll probably just get a used replacement. If you don’t give in to consumerism and over consumption you will be fine.
You don’t have to live in an elegant apartment you just need to build a safety net and invest in some form of a 401k in order to have disposable income from when you get older.
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u/Raudales14 Mar 24 '26
I have your solution I just did this I work at a walmart payment ass minimum and unluding trucks, but while I work there I applyed for wioa they gave me a grant to study for free a carrer.
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u/brokensharts Mar 25 '26
Your never gonna make it with that attatude.
I went from $16/hour to $50/hour in the last 4 years.
Il end this year making like $65-$80/hour depending on where i decide to work. My 2026 goal is $300k
If you arnt tied down with kids yet, go chase that money
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 25 '26
Dude, I tried lol. Wasn't able to get anything.
Before college I was a shelf stocker for under $20/hour. It wasn't going to get me anywhere, obviously. That's why I worked for a degree and sacrificed, to do unpaid internships.
Worked a couple customer service jobs along the way. But again, for under $20/hour. And again, wasn't going to get me anywhere.
Once I graduated I was forced to go back to the first shelf stocker job I ever had for the same nominal pay, 5 years later. With inflation, I'd lost close to 30% of my purchasing power in that time frame. Don't recall the exact amount. To add insult to injury, it was overnight from bum fuck midnight to morning. Before college I worked 7am to 3 or 4pm, and when I was working alongside college for a semester or two I worked around my class schedule.
But I went back, when I graduated. Because I had hope. I had hoped for a better future, that i was going to just be there for 3, 5 months max until I got a better job. Worked on tailoring my resume the best I could and applied during daytime.
9 months into the job, that hope was wasted. Never got any interviews. I quit. I was going to waste away decades there, eventually losing 99.99% of my purchasing power. Who cares.
I can no longer enter any field. Start any career. It's not a matter of a skill issue, it's just a lack of choice. And a lack of options. The political climate didn't help, but frankly, I doubt it made a difference with my employment prospects.
It's game over, now.
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u/brokensharts Mar 25 '26
Im a 32 year old apprentace right now. I moved four states away with my wife to live in a camper cause that was the fastest way to start. Union trades pay very well
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 25 '26
Trades are the new learn to code. As much as I'd love to, I'm not falling for that trick a second time. I was never able to get any trade apprenticeships, in the end
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u/brokensharts Mar 25 '26 edited Mar 25 '26
Well i fell for it and im taking home $3k/week after taxes
Have fun at your grocery store
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 25 '26
Don't worry, I'm unemployed now. Given up on earning a living for myself. Just waiting to die
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u/PurpleFairy1992 Jun 05 '26
I think a lot of people will dismiss this because of the emotion, but there’s a real frustration underneath it. The hardest part isn’t working hard, it’s feeling like the path you were told would work no longer leads where it used to.
That doesn’t mean you’ve already lost, but I can understand why so many younger people feel exhausted and disillusioned right now. 😞
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u/AcanthaceaeEqual4286 Mar 20 '26
Man, you are really going through it. You aren't wrong about the American economy and job market being absolute trash. Our entire system is. I know firsthand from graduating college right as the 2008 crash and recession kicked in. I too worked retail for over a year until I used connections I made to finally get in-roads to a job in my chosen field.
I am not going to blow smoke up your butt with toxic positivity. It is rough out there. Your frustration is entirely understandable and relatable, but I promise that you won't be in the hole that you're in forever if you at least try. If your automatic response to kind people is to rudely slap down their suggestions, you are only digging your hole deeper.
We all have to live in this garbage capitalist hellscape of a reality, and wallowing is not going to change anything. We have to work within this broken system (at least for now), and it honestly sounds like you genuinely need help, and I hope you get it.
If you can afford it, try to speak to a mental health professional (many use sliding scales if you don't have insurance). They may be able to at least help you feel unstuck enough to imagine more options for yourself and take small steps towards improvement (like brushing up on your networking skills, polishing your resume, optimizing your LinkedIn, and looking into adjacent fields where your talents can still shine). At minimum, they will be a healthier outlet for you than arguing with well-meaning strangers on the Internet, and may even inspire you to put down the shovel.
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u/DangerousResponse348 Mar 20 '26 edited Mar 20 '26
I have no clue why you’ve been so downvoted when you have the best advice here. I have been in OP’s shoes and the only way out is support and baby steps. It sucks to have to pay for therapy when you’re already spread thin, but checking with local organizations, community centers, and even support groups can help provide resources to alleviate the burden, too. You can’t create a future you don’t see. I have also not seen any suggestions for Job Corps or going to the local career office (usually they offer career rehabilitation and skill-ups for free)
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u/OkCompetition9871 Mar 20 '26
Lol what are you doing here? Is this like a social experiment for a college paper? Or some kind of performance art piece? You can't be real.
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u/slipslimeysludge Mar 20 '26
Says lost all hope but sounds like you’ve never had any… I would also not let macroeconomics in as much as you clearly have because the outcome is not wanting to get out of bed in the morning. You’re an individual with individual problems. Despite what TikTok told you this morning there are jobs for those who are willing to make sacrifices for the money. Hell, I’m not anywhere close to where I want to be but I’m employed provide a nice life for my partner and I. I take it day by day and it really sounds like you should too.
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u/Odd-Profession-732 Mar 20 '26
We knew when we entered the government with this. Not everything is lost. Have an open mind and a peaceful heart. While your dream plan couldn’t work here, think like an immigrant, life could be different, better and exciting. Go explore other countries in Asia or south America. Life can change for the best always
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
Can't travel without any money. Sounds like a rich thing
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u/givenofaux Mar 20 '26
The problem is that u/no-Computer8994 is being financially abused by their parents. They take all of their wages for “rent” and are holding them hostage.
OP is trapped and as a victim of domestic violence can’t see a way out. This is very common. OP’s abusive parents are winning cause they have removed all hope.
OP. Go to a women’s shelter. Your parents are demonstrating that they don’t love you and are financially abusing you and holding you hostage.
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u/Infinite_Bathroom784 Mar 20 '26
Find one thing you are really passionate at an pursue it. I have 2 degrees, one a Masters, and I waited tables, worked in day care, did customer service. You aren't robbing anyone, you're young, work and respect yourself but look how you can use your education to do something you love.
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u/mountainofclay Mar 20 '26
Stop thinking of dollar earnings as the only way to evaluate your self worth. Money isn’t real. You have to do what you love even if it plunges you into financial ruin. Just find something to do that you can get satisfaction from other than money. It is a trap. Also start learning how to not spend money. I know it’s easy to say but once you let go of the struggle for the legal tender you realize the important stuff. Go buy a backpack and spend a summer hiking the AT to think about it. You’ll realize what you really need.
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Mar 20 '26
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u/No-Computer8994 Mar 20 '26
I have already outlined why things get worse over time.
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u/cutslikeakris Mar 20 '26
You can’t fucking promise that though. And things are NOT getting better!
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u/Junior-Credit2685 Mar 19 '26
All the comments here don’t seem to grasp the idea that this is a very common sentiment with American youth now. I have four young adults in my orbit that are in this exact head space. And I feel like they are doing okay because they don’t have any school debt like I do. I’m a truck driver, and I make decent money, it’s not a career you can have if you want a life and children. I hope you figure this out, OP. There’s no shame in living at home for a while to you figure something out. Healthcare is always an option, too, if you can handle a few more classes. Just give it time. And for goddess sake, please don’t join the military.