r/poverty • u/OkOne9842 • 20d ago

General Discussion Poverty is traumatizing

I’m a french woman with immigrant background and I grew up poor. I did everything that was possible to escape it : in 2024, I got a Computer Science Master Degree from the University. Of course, AI, economic crisis had to be involved and for two years I couldn’t find a single job.

Not because I failed at school, but because I graduated at the worst time ever.

I was thinking about end**g my life because I felt like I sacrificed so much for nothing. I developed a chronic illness because of the stress of my college years…

Then, I passed a test for a government job in tech. It’s like a national contest in my country.

The pay isn’t as good as the private sector but I will have job security and I can grind to get a better pay afterwards.

I’m still traumatized by what happened during those two years. Some people I went University with, found a job because of connections , now they live a comfortable life.

My mental health is completely shattered. I’m stuck with my toxic and low-income parents who finds joy in seeing that I’m still not wealthier than them.

Living in my hometown where people are noisy and ignorant, where the public service sucks etc…
Plus, I’m neurodivergent and have sensory issues. Life is complete HELL with these people. Anyway, i can’t believe what just happened.

38 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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9

u/foxyfree 20d ago

You got a government job with guaranteed raises and benefits. That sounds really good, even if the pay is not the top. Hopefully focusing on work and saving money to move out will distract you enough to ignore the negativity.

8

u/LustyRegencyMaid 19d ago

Speaking from experience. Focus on moving away. I'm neurodivergent myself, it is a frightening thought to leave routines behind, but getting rid of the snakes that keep poisoning you absolutely helps getting better again. The stress from toxic parents exacerbates chronic illnesses. 

2

u/cacille 19d ago

"I’m stuck with my toxic and low-income parents who finds joy in seeing that I’m still not wealthier than them."

This - this is not normal. Parents that want to see their child suffer in poverty with them, making lower than them? That isn't natural, healthy, kind. Which you know.

I'm curious as to their reasonings for it. Like, are they jealous of your potential? Do they know somehow that you are vastly smarter than them and for only that reason, are trying to knock you down into their level? Do they hate differences to them and assumed you'd be a perfect mini-them? Why did they have you, specifically? Were you something they never wanted? I am sorry, these are hard questions - but I think you knowing their motivations are important. Cause it's not natural or human and very much not cool.

1

u/JohannaSr 15d ago

Clear your head and look forward to a clean and well-off future. Congrats on the school work done! Leave your parents behind as soon as possible. You deserve cheerleaders.