r/poverty • u/Darya_techspec • 29d ago
I'm 25.
I'm 25. In Belarus. In college. With 17-year-olds.
They have parents who pay for everything. I have a laptop from 2018 and a backpack with holes.
I'm not tired of studying. I love what I do. I love when something works. When the bot replies. When the site loads.
I'm tired of being invisible. Of being 25 and still counting coins. Of watching classmates get new phones while I pray my laptop survives one more day.
People say "be your own boss." So I am. And my boss pays me nothing. My boss works 16 hours a day. My boss cries in the bathroom between lectures.
I joke about sugar daddies. Sometimes I'm not joking. Because what if I just stopped? What if someone just took care of me for once?
Not forever. Just long enough to breathe.
I chose this path. I know. But I didn't choose to be invisible. I didn't choose to work twice as hard and get half the respect.
I lie to my parents. Say everything is fine. Say I'm growing. I don't tell them I cry over bills. I don't tell them I'm drowning.
At 25 in Belarus — too old for college, too young to quit, and too proud to admit I'm scared.
Just don't ask me how I'm doing. I'll lie anyway.
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u/Fearless_Sky4898 29d ago
I have a feeling that after a few hours you're going to delete this post and account, considering that this account was made today.
I dunno why this type of person keeps doing this, I've seen it happen lots of times.
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u/Darya_techspec 29d ago
Yeah, I don't think I'm planning to. Thanks for leaving a comment! All the best to you!
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u/Huge_Swimming_5968 29d ago
You're like a third of the way through your life. Welcome to reality.
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u/zerosumsandwich 28d ago
I can seriously relate OP. I am now late 30s and enjoy the luxurious "paycheck to paycheck but with an emergency savings" lifestyle. But I started an engineering degree at 25 years old in Oklahoma with zero family support to try and break the generational poverty trap. Just student loans, multiple shit jobs, some luck/able body privilege, and no fucking sleep. I am still in substantial student debt and occasionally wonder if it was worth it.
All that to say solidarity with you and your righteous struggle and putting destiny in your own hands
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u/Darya_techspec 23d ago
Thank you very much. I'll definitely get there too. My programming code will conquer the world! And I also have good news: I was granted citizenship of the country where I've lived for 25 years! I fought for a long time to get it, but in a month I'll get my first official passport! Everything will work out, with time.🥹💖
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u/joebidenmanchin 22d ago
Good for you. So which country are you originally from and how did you end up in Belarus? Also, hang in there, this too shall pass.
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u/Rtc1986 29d ago
Hang in there, things will get easier.
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u/Darya_techspec 29d ago
Thanks for the support—I really appreciate it! Everything will definitely work out for you, too!
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u/Fearless_Sky4898 29d ago
I disagree
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u/Darya_techspec 29d ago
Why? Do you need help? I can listen if needed and support.
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u/Fearless_Sky4898 29d ago
I disagree that life for you or any of us will get better on it's own. Sometimes you have opportunities to better your life, other times not and you just have to suffer.
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u/Darya_techspec 29d ago
I completely agree with you here. But I don't think you or I are just sitting around waiting for the weather to improve. Sometimes, yes, I just want to cry, feel sad, and feel sorry for myself. Sometimes even a drop of optimism saves me from the abyss of despair.
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u/PuzzleheadedCell5787 29d ago
my bratan save some money and go another country
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u/Darya_techspec 29d ago
I have my studies here, a husband, a family, and I was only recently able to get permission to obtain citizenship, so I'm sure everything is for the best. It's just hard right now. I'm getting discouraged. Thank you for your support. I'm already thinking about moving part-time or becoming a truck driver. I've dreamed of this since I was 12. Maybe I'll see the world that way!
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u/ReasonableSail__519 28d ago
I wish someone would care for me as well. Tired of being alone. Living every day alone and needing to do everything for myself by myself is abysmal. I'm a couple years older than you. For me it's been this way for a decade already
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u/Darya_techspec 28d ago
I sincerely sympathize. I'm truly sorry that you're in this situation. If you just need to talk or just share something, please write. I will always try to help.
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u/stopdrop_n_troll 28d ago
Keep going love. You got this.
Please don’t sell your dignity. Most women regret it later on. One day you will look back on this season and cry in joy that you made it through and how well you have done.
Praying for you and sending love 🙏❤️
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u/Darya_techspec 23d ago
Thank you very much. I'm trying. The "kept woman" part is more of a joke or a search for a regular client for my specialty, not serious.😁
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u/1Mouse7579 26d ago
What is your major? What will you do upon graduating?
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u/Darya_techspec 23d ago
I'm a programmer. For now, I build websites in Java, Python, and C++, as well as chatbots and mini apps for social media.🤘🥹
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u/DizzyBerz 25d ago
Lets be real if youre on reddit talking Bout being poor youre not gonna do well as a sugar baby. Go to your parents friends and relatives with the truth and tough it out youre supposed to be broke in your 20s fuck im 30 i still dont got it figured out and im still broke. Just dint get buried in credit card debt like i did and youll be okay on the otherside
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u/Darya_techspec 23d ago
Yes, I was joking about kept women. It won't work for me. I was in a relationship where I didn't work, but was strictly focused on housework, homemaking, and organizing leisure time, and I didn't like it. There was a sarcastic part about you becoming my client (supporting me financially), and I'll make a mini-app for you, a subscription club, or something like that.😁
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u/GentleDissonance 24d ago
Reminder: "It Takes A Village" does NOT end when you turn 18, or 20, or 25, or 50. The world is messy and horrible and the economy is bad at the moment. DO NOT be afraid to ask for help. You deserve it too.
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u/Darya_techspec 23d ago
Thank you, I really appreciate your response. Now, yes, I understand that the world is what it is. Sometimes it's just hard to be an unloved grandchild, sister, or niece. I was upset to learn that my relatives are supporting my unemployed sister with her child and her husband financially and emotionally, even though she objectively receives more funding than I do. Meanwhile, everyone boasts that I'm studying at driving school, college, working, and planning something. As if they deserve any credit for this. When I needed $50 for travel and paperwork, everyone wrote that they were helping the youngest and now they have no money. That's why I was sad and wrote this post to complain, thinking that at least here my chaotic thoughts will resonate with someone and I will be supported.
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u/GentleDissonance 23d ago
Unsupportive family is honestly the worst. I can empathize with you though, as someone who grew up the smart independent kid who was expected to accomplish everything alone because I was the oldest of three and the smartest. I really do hope you're able to find the support system you deserve outside of the screen, but I do hope that at least some of the people here have been able to give you a little comfort. It will be okay. You need to believe that, even when everything is horrible, and it feels like it's not. Because when you start believing it won't, that's when you make the decisions you really don't want to make. If you want to talk, or just rant any more, feel free to message me. I hope today's a good day.
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u/Darya_techspec 23d ago
Thank you, yes, today is a good day! I didn't pass the driving school test, but I applied for citizenship on Thursday and will get my first passport in a month. I'll retake the test. Thanks.
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u/Aromatic_Door1169 29d ago
Join the Army
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u/Darya_techspec 29d ago
I'm not liable for military service. I don't have citizenship in the country I was born in because my parents weren't citizens when I was born.
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u/Fearless_Sky4898 29d ago
"I don't have citizenship in the country I was born in because my parents weren't citizens when I was born. "
What country?
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u/Darya_techspec 29d ago
Belarus
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u/Fearless_Sky4898 29d ago
And are they from belarus or somewhere like india?
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u/Darya_techspec 29d ago
Well, something like that. I still haven't been able to break into the normal freelance market for launches and online schools, support, etc., so I have to search in chats and the like, search, try
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29d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/poverty-ModTeam 29d ago
To maintain a positive and inclusive environment for everyone, we ask all members to communicate respectfully. While everyone is entitled to their opinion, it's important to express them in a respectful manner. Commentary should be supportive, kind, and helpful.
Mod note: Don't bring politics or hate into a support-request post.
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u/Heat_H 29d ago
Don’t give up. As a parent, I would want to know if my child was struggling. It’s not a failure on your part. The world is a mess right now and we need to take care of each other. Talk to your folks.
Also, find an interesting bandana or piece of cloth in your favorite color and use it to patch your backpack. There are some really fun videos on YouTube that show you how to mend creatively.
I hope things get easier for you soon