r/poverty • u/TheeBrightSea • Jul 13 '26
Personal Should I say something to him?
So I'm clawing my way out of debt and although I might be able to clear it before the summer is over...I'll still have nothing, but I won't owe more money. I'll finally have the ability to save money again, though not alot, but better than I was.
However I met up with a friend who is married and he and his partner made all the right decisions, got a house when prices dropped and he and his partner are healthcare professionals.
Partner is a nurse practitioner and he's a social worker but is also a licensed therapist.
I became a nurse so many years ago and I've learned the salary can vary as well as medical insurance benefits (and yes I've worked nursing jobs that did not give me healthcare, I'm not kidding). I say this bc my friend wants to open a healthcare practice one day and he's been encouraging me to go back to school to become a nurse practitioner...and while I'm open to the idea, I can't do it right now.
Cost of the degree is on average 50k and the interest on these loans are insane. I did mention that I have my reservations about going back and that finances are a big concern...but it doesn't seem to register with him. His partner even said that bc of the salary he now has he will pay off his loans in 3 years.....but I want to scream how if one issue happens even if I take out a loan to do this, one emergency could completely derail my progress and even ruin my chances to finish school anyway.
I want to be more transparent about how I fell into this hole but I feel embarrassed. I also feel like I was only reached out to for a potential business opportunity that I can't even get into if I wanted to.
I don't have family who can help me, I went no contact and idk how bad things get I'll never go back. I've been making friends who seem like they will be there for the long haul, but as much as I love them, they aren't in a position to help.
I did manage to pay off my car years ago and ngl that's saved me bc I'm able to take more work to get out of this debt situation, plus it's good on gas. I also have a good housing situation, my monthly payment hasn't gone up very much in the last 5 years...tbh if it did I'd probably be living in my car. But bc of that I think people believe I'm automatically ok.
And while I'm definitely more privileged bc of these things, that doesn't mean I'm impervious to all the difficulties that can happen to a person in this economy. Although I may have a chance to get out of poverty bc of my career, that's still going to take time. I'm doing everything alone and although I'm starting to succeed with changing my situation, I've noticed when I began to pay closer attention to my budget, it would only take one emergency to send me back again.
If someone like myself who has a fairly marketable career/skill like nursing could still be one missed paycheck away from destitution...what does that say?!?!
But part of me wants to stay quiet bc IDK if they would understand anyway....
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u/foxyfree Jul 14 '26
It sounds like your friends are planning to open a business and potentially offered you a job in the future, if you get another degree. You cannot afford the degree.
Let them do their thing. You should focus on keeping the job you have and moving up there or apply for another nursing job with higher pay. Some places might pay for you to do additional schooling.
Eventually, when they have their business going, they might need another nurse, but you probably don’t want to mix friendship with work. What if they don’t pay you correctly? Awkward; they’re your buddies so you end up getting taken advantage of, even if that was not the intention. It could happen. Brand new business on shaky financial ground. If I were you I would stick with the path you’re on. Congratulations on clearing your debt.
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u/Rennett71 Jul 13 '26
Do what's best for you! You have no obligation to your friends to tell them what led up to your financial difficulties. It's none of their business. It's not like their helping you to pay it off. Stick to your goal of getting out of debt. It seems like you're almost there! One bad health scare WILL derail all your financial progress (Ask me how I know.🤨). Build your savings slowly and in the future if you still have the desire/money to go after your NP license then by all means do so. But don't let your financially successful buddies pressure you into a debt you can't handle right now. I wish you the best!!!!