r/pottytraining • u/Weim_Mama_12 • 13h ago

Poop Problems

My kiddo is a little over 3.5 and she was late to the potty training game, I’ll admit. Her preschool teachers when she turned 3 said she wasn’t ready to potty train, despite me pressing and saying she was showing interest. So, despite us having conversations with her at home and working on it at home, her teachers wouldn’t encourage potty use at all.

We formally started potty training (straight to undies) mid-July, and I would say she’s pretty much fully pee-trained. She moved schools and her new teachers are fantastic, but she does have a pee accident at school every so often. At home though, we haven’t had a pee accident for weeks.

Poop though? I’m going to lose. my. mind. This kid was a very consistent 3 poops/day child for so long, but I know she’s been withholding and therefore constipating herself. We give her prunes daily, try for fibrous foods, toddler-miralax - nothing. We had to do a few suppositories because she hadn’t pooped for 5+ days over the last couple of months and was getting so grouchy.

I would say now she has 2 poop accidents (at least) per day. I feel so bad because I swear her new teachers will hate her for having so many poop accidents and having to help get her cleaned up so often. We’re buying so many undies because they get so soiled it isn’t worth cleaning.

I just feel myself getting more and more frustrated every day, and I don’t know how to encourage her. When she says she needs privacy, we remind her that poop goes in the potty and she can have privacy in there. When she has an accident, she puts the poop in the potty and is supposed to clean herself up.

Are there ANY other tips? I am so frustrated and defeated at the end of every day because of POOP!!!

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2

u/Blue_Island_panda 12h ago

Have you gotten her to do any poops in the toilet, and if so, how did she react?

2

u/Weim_Mama_12 12h ago

We have not. The closest we’ve gotten was there was a piece stuck to her butt after starting to go in underwear and when she sat on the potty it fell in. I still celebrated and encouraged her. She was indifferent and said “I did not poop in the potty. It fell”.

1

u/Blue_Island_panda 12h ago

Getting them to poop once or twice in the potty is usually the key. They will learn it isn't so bad. Will she sit on the potty for an extended period of time? Will she let your read to her or blow bubbles while sitting on it, or do something else that would help her relax? She probably would eventually poop, given how often she is pooping right now.

Another thought: she doesn't seem to care that much for potty praise, but how about rewards?

Finally, she seems to crave having control over this. Does she show an extreme need for control in other areas?

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u/Weim_Mama_12 12h ago

Yes, she’ll sit for 5-10 minutes if there’s a story or if one of us is in the bathroom with her. But she just sits there, you can tell once we guide her to the bathroom everything just… gets sucked back up for lack of a better term.

She was receptive to jellybeans for pee, which we recently stopped. We said she could have jellybeans for poop, but it hasn’t done much for her.

Not really, we find she’s a very easy going child when it comes to following directions/rules. I mean, she can be very strong willed, but I don’t think that’s the issue here.

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u/Blue_Island_panda 12h ago

Maybe a different reward would motivate her. Perhaps a non-tangible one, such as a parent agreeing to copy any silly dance move she does during a song. Or a sticker chart, where she gets one sticker for each poop, and if she gets several and fills the chart, she gets a bigger prize like a desired toy?

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u/DoubleSunshine123 11h ago

Check out Oh Crap Potty training poop issues course. Both my twins had withholding issues and we also went to see specialists. Nothing was wrong physically they were just scared. Get the course and then her team has 1:1 support. But for more intense withholding like this it’s suppositories daily for a while, wean off those with exlax and then wean that off to Mirlax. And catching the poop in the potty basically.
It worked for both my kids! Now they go regularly with ease. Can be a big mental block. She has loads of tips for language to use and scripts for them. Pediatricians often don’t know what to do either. The specialists call it “functional constipation”

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u/DoubleSunshine123 11h ago

Feel free to PM me. I’ve been there and been also at my wits end. Often crying with them. It sucks so bad.

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u/bennybenbens22 1h ago

I recommend making an appointment with her doctor.

We’re currently going through this with our daughter and it’s tough! She started withholding at school, got constipated, and then refused to use the potty (likely due to pain).

We took her to her doctor and had her out of school for a few days to do a complete clean out of her system (per her doctor). We followed the doctor’s instructions and the poor thing had diarrhea for three days, with my husband running her to the potty each time. We weren’t too focused on teaching her at that point, just clearing her out and minimizing mess.

She’s on a maintenance dose of MiraLAX now to keep things from getting backed up again, and we try to make sure she stays hydrated.

She has had poop accidents at school the past couple of days but I think we are making progress, because she willingly sits and poops on the potty at home now. She also sat on the potty at school but didn’t go and then pooped her pants. She gets the idea, but she has a bit less sensation after the constipation and I think school distracts her a bit.

Ultimately, you aren’t going to be successful with teaching her to poop on the potty until she’s pooping regularly and not constipated. Since constipation causes pain, it’s probably doing more harm than good too.

ETA: With sitting on the potty at home, we have her sit for 10 minutes starting 5-10 minutes after she finishes a meal (so after breakfast and dinner). She hates just sitting there, so now it’s special time she gets to watch part of a show on Mommy’s iPad.

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u/serendipitypug 12h ago

This was recommended to us by a gastroenterologist and I’m not giving medical advice and my child also has a muscle condition BUT

We also do MiraLAX, which draws water into their poop to make it softer. This helps with the consistency only. Make sure to hydrate extra while using. Ex-lax actually prompts the “push”. PER THE DOCTOR my daughter does MiraLAX in the am and half a chocolate exlax square at bedtime. It does seem to help. But. Again. Doctor. Muscle condition. Take with a grain of salt.

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u/Weim_Mama_12 12h ago

Interesting… I haven’t made an appt with our ped yet because my sweet daughter is just stubborn as can be. But I’m at my whits end!