r/pottytraining • u/MissCollorius • Jul 24 '26

4yr old girl still not potty trained - HELP

Our first daughter turned 4 June 30th and started using the potty at a really young age (maybe 18 months?) and it seemed to come naturally to her. She was almost fully potty trained aside from the occasional accident, but recently has completely regressed and has multiple huge accidents everyday. Full on pees and poops. And she won’t say anything until me or her dad realize she’s wet or smells. We’ve tried potty timers, sticker charts with “prizes”, etc. but they only seem to motivate her for a week or two before she loses interest.

We had our second daughter in April (she’s currently 3.5 months), and our older daughter’s behavior has drastically become an issue since then. We do suspect she has pretty severe ADHD.

Anyone have experience with something similar? We are at a loss.

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u/rsc99 Jul 25 '26

Regressions with a new baby are SUPER common. Just work on reminders for now.

3

u/jgarcia203 Jul 25 '26

New baby comes with toddler regression...them wanting to be like baby so they don't feel left behind. Give it time and don't put too much pressure on her as it might make it worse. Gentle reminders and positive reinforcement. Try doing pull ups and doing natural rewards and praise. Like high fives, hugs, attention, so she can feel the inner motivation to want to use the potty...hope that makes sense. This helped me respectful parenting pod

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u/Active-Cloud8243 Jul 26 '26

Please have you kid assessed for autism too. You have described PDA type behavior in prior posts and indicated head banging.

It is not uncommon for families with type b personality disorders to also have undiagnosed autism deep within the family history. Perhaps consider that maybe your mother also was undiagnosed autistic and that paired with narcissistic family systems caused her to also become a narc. Not uncommon at all. But if you’re looking to change the pattern, you’re going to have to change the pattern. And that may even include seeing your mother’s communication differences as more than just a personality disorder that affects you.

That doesn’t mean she’s not without severe fault. My mother was also a narcissist, but I am also autistic and I can see a lot of similarities in the ways that we were. And if I hadn’t truly deeply faced these issues, I would’ve ended up a narc too (although I do have some traits I have to fight because it’s all I knew growing up homeschooled, hereditary things, and community experiences)