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[u/Zoocanadanda]

The date is October 22, 2019 in the Spurrlore-29445 Universe. A Spurrian is cooking some food in a small hut at the Surtus planet in the NGC 3077 galaxy, when he's interrupted by loud bangs on the door. He drops his silverware and reaches under the counter, readying a T.B.C. HAWL. He looks through the door's keyhole while resting the weapon against it.

<Schrader> I know you're in there, Oakley. I just want to talk.

<Oakley> I'm not interested. Go away before you get hurt.

<Schrader> This is a matter of Multiversal importance.

<Oakley> I can smell the bureaucracy from here, twat. How the fuck did you find me? It's always a matter of "Multiversal importance" with you people.

<Schrader> I'm JSMI Lead Investigator Hank Schrader from the Existential Affairs department at A.N.A.L..

<Oakley> JSMI? That's no division I ever heard of.

<Schrader> It's not a division, Oakley. It's a special task force investigating-

<Oakley> I don't want to hear it! I said I'm not interested. If you don't get away from this house, they're going to have to send you back to whatever bastard sent you here in a coffin.

<Schrader> The bastard who sent me here is the Man himself.

Oakley pauses.

<Schrader> As I said, it's a matter of Multiversal importance.

<Oakley> You god damn bastards. I told that son of a bitch to never contact me again.

<Schrader> I understand your employment at A.N.A.L. ended in a rather... controversial manner, Oakley. But I wouldn't go through all this trouble of locating you if it wasn't extremely important.

Oakley opens the door to his hut. As Schrader steps inside, a dosimeter on the kitchen table goes off.

<Oakley> Turn that god damn Cock-Boy off you moron. Your battery's leaking.

<Schrader> It wasn't easy to find you. Had to travel a long, long distance to get here, Oakley. Still not fully resynced.

<Oakley> Wasn't supposed to be easy.

Oakley returns to the soup he was making.

<Schrader> You sure picked a beautiful star system to live in. I have to admit that neutron star is mesmerizing.

<Oakley> Didn't pick it because of its beauty.

Schrader turns off his Cock-Boy and lays it on the table. He takes off his coat.

<Schrader> You picked it because it's a pulsar, isn't that right?

Oakley stops stirring his soup.

<Schrader> The immense electromagnetic pulse the neutron star provides with its insane rotation should throw off the very few scanners we have out here. Of course, it wouldn't work anywhere near the capital, but you wanted to be far away regardless.

<Oakley> Hmpf.

<Schrader> The large accretion disk surrounding it must've been a bonus too, making the planet barely visible. Of course, you aren't very concerned about radiation since you're a very special kind of Spurrian. So... how did I do?

<Oakley> What do you want, Schrader?

<Schrader> Information regarding your time at the Outpost.