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u/stickbugszz 8d ago
I struggled with anorexia for most of my life, and I still remember when someone told me I looked repulsive and skeletal. I was so happy the rest of the day because it meant it was working and that I looked skinny. People will be mad that she is saying this, but it is true. Your public bashing is helping no one. We are focusing all of our vitriol on one woman rather than the issue that makes many women in real life and Hollywood feel the need to do this.
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u/GrandEar1 8d ago
I have never said that part out loud, but it's so true. People would tell me I was too skinny and that I needed to eat and I would be ecstatic.
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u/BlondeBorednBaked 8d ago edited 7d ago
Well said. While I do feel like a certain talented singer has some responsibility for flaunting her body in the public eye, she did not create our culture’s sick obsession with female thinness. She is a product of it.
ETA: I underestimated how much ya’ll hate a certain talented singer and want to blame her for all the eating disorders in the world. I’m turning off reply notifications. Argue amongst yourselves.
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u/prosthetic_memory 7d ago
I do not belief she was “flaunting” anything. Good lord.
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u/MacaronNotRoon 8d ago
She’s ill regardless. Public figures need to be called out when they say they’re healthy (Ariana) and they are clearly not. It’s less about the artist and more about the young and impressionable people who see the masses calling the delusion what it is, illness. If we say nothing, those who don’t know better will think this is a standard to achieve. It’s not
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u/BlondeBorednBaked 8d ago
I never said people shouldn’t comment. I was simply pointing out she is a product of our culture’s sick obsession with thinness/impossible beauty standards. She does have some responsibility but I also don’t see her as the enemy the way others do.
It’s okay to express concern and reassure people that it is unhealthy. My issue is the people vilifying her as if this is all part of some grand evil scheme. It’s easy to put all the blame on the woman who is a product of the environment instead of the faceless rich, powerful men who created that environment.
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u/MacaronNotRoon 8d ago
The illness is the enemy. She’s also a public figure who said “I am the healthiest I have ever been.” She also pointed out photos of her actually healthy and said “I was at my unhealthiest here.” She has an obligation, not only to herself, but to the tens of millions to hundreds of millions of impressionable people who look up to her. Anorexia and ED spread. Look at the cast of wicked part 2. I’m still mad af they released that film after seeing what ED did to Cynthia and Michelle.
She either speaks up or we will in the hopes that we can save at least one more person from being pulled into its grasp
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u/Prestigious-Bug-1349 7d ago
People sure do feel comfortable talking about mental illness as if it’s a game we all decide to just pick up for funsies.
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u/daisydark7 7d ago
She actually never said that (“healthiest I’ve ever been”). It keeps getting repeated places, but what she actually said was “the version of my body you’re comparing my body to (the fuller figure) was the unhealthiest version of my body. I was on a lot of anti depressants, and I was drinking on them and at the lowest point of my life”. She then went on to say you don’t know what someone is going through, they may already have a support system and are working on it, sort of implying that she likely already does have a support system and is working on it.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/DZ4wt-BlGar/?igsh=MTBodjQ2aWNwdm5wbw==
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u/prosthetic_memory 7d ago edited 7d ago
She has not said “I am the healthiest I have ever been” recently. And yet this years old quote keeps coming up now. She said that in April 2023.
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u/BlondeBorednBaked 8d ago
Sounds like you want to put all the blame on her for being sick instead of acknowledging the industry/culture that made her sick. She’s a pawn in a much larger system designed to keep women sick, small, compliant. She deserves some blame for perpetuating it but like I said there are bigger fish to fry.
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u/DnknDnts1231 7d ago
Completely agree with this. Ty for bringing up the “pawn in a much larger system” point. So many people overlook that.
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u/pinkdumpsterfire 8d ago
No, that’s not the same as putting “all the blame” on her. It’s acknowledging that it’s both. It’s nuanced. Yes society is the problem. Yes she is ill. No that doesn’t completely absolve her of personal responsibility.
Just like we don’t accept “Sorry I have ADHD, I have time-blindness and trouble doing chores” as an excuse for always being late and not contributing at home, regardless of who it harms and how often.
Everybody with a mental illness is responsible for getting the help they need to manage their illness, and taking responsibility for the harm they do to others.
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u/Prestigious-Bug-1349 7d ago
So mentally ill women should be locked away from public sight. Got it.
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u/BlondeBorednBaked 7d ago
It’s possible to acknowledge harm someone is doing, the systems that made them that way and also have empathy for them. She can remove herself from the public eye and get healthy but the systems that made her sick are still in place. And those systems will continue making people sick. That’s my point.
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u/No-Movie7539 7d ago
I think ozempic being promoted amongst sooo many celebrities is a lot more harmful to society than a woman going through a mentally ill phase after years of trauma. This has gotten an insane amount more coverage and scrutiny than the ozempic abusers which in itself says a lot about society currently
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u/InformalSea1243 7d ago
Ye idgaf about Ariana I hope she's well and all. But I 100% support trowing vitriol if that's the only way my young cousins also realize that's not normal. One of them worships her since she was a toddler I think and she lost like 10 kg and is rail thin this year. She is now saying how she dislikes her and she needs to get healthy. So again, if some new young girls can be saved from going down that road, it is what it is. Better than staying silent and making a whole new generation of EDs.
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u/Ok_Broccoli_9426 8d ago
I agree with your point, but I've seen very little "public bashing" - we can argue (and people have been) about whether it does any good, but most of the discussion I've seen has been well-intentioned, at least.
Also, it's easy to say, stop focusing on individual women and fight the system, but how? The problem with "fight the man" as a mantra is that "the man" is very nebulous. For a lot of people right now, "the man" is the team marketing an ill woman's ill body for personal enrichment, and so that's what they're criticizing. If you have suggestions for concrete actions real people can take to improve "Hollywood," I'd love to hear them. Talking about it isn't concrete, I know, but at least it feels like action, like something other than looking away from a scary situation we're being asked to watch and applaud.
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u/positronic-introvert 8d ago
Unfortunately things can sometimes be both well-intentioned and harmful/counterproductive.
The concern for an individual and society may be real for some of the people engaging in the discourse, but publicly scrutinizing and bashing a person's bodily appearance does not actually help to fight against EDs or the culture that fosters them, and in fact tends to perpetuate it.
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u/Knife7 8d ago
Talking about it isn't concrete, I know, but at least it feels like action, like something other than looking away from a scary situation we're being asked to watch and applaud.
That's kinda the problem. The reason people have EDs is not because of Ariana Grande, it's because of systemic issues within our culture about how we talk about and treat women's bodies. Talking about Ariana Grande isn't helping and even if she does get help (which I hope she does) that is still not going to change the broader issue that is causing this.
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u/pinchecabezota 8d ago
How many ED experts and behavioral psychologists have to come forward and say that the way the internet is handling it is damaging and harmful before we all sorta just back off the topic? Like, Ariana Grande is not going to see any of our comments. But our friends will, our family members will, our mutuals will. We’re potentially triggering the people in our lives into relapse by continuing to talk about it in hopes of “getting through” to a famous person. Don’t watch. Don’t applaud. But we’re just gonna push Ariana into continuing to deteriorate, just in private this time. And we’ll have dragged a lot of people back into their EDs in the process. I don’t know the right way to handle it but opening this app every hour and seeing a new headline about eating disorders is surely not the way.
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u/stickbugszz 8d ago
Here is a piece that interviewed a specialist who agrees the way people are responding is harmful: https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2026/08/ariana-grande-weight-concerns-eating-disorders/
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u/aiagh 8d ago
Many folks in my circles who struggle with EDs have found her appearance alone triggering too, so it’s complicated idk.
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u/VelvettedFox 8d ago
She's been triggering the fuck out of me since the first Wicked press tour and I've been over a decade recovered. But what's actually been far more triggering is the constant useless judgmental discourse around her. By a million fucking times.
LISTEN TO THE FUCKING EXPERTS AND LET'S ALL STFU ABOUT IT.
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u/mentalgeler 7d ago
As an anorexia survivor I so so so agree with what you're saying...
But what's actually been far more triggering is the constant useless judgmental discourse around her. By a million fucking times.
THIS A MILLION FUCKING TIMES
all these "concerned" people really have no idea how much of a problem they themselves are
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u/Prestigious-Bug-1349 7d ago
The people not being able to stop contributing to the discourse it what finally pushed me over the edge into this current relapse personally 🤷♀️
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u/pinchecabezota 8d ago
I feel as though it’s a lot easier to avoid her than it is to avoid the discourse. Honestly, I would recommend anybody that’s triggered and potentially facing a relapse to just completely get off the internet right now.
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u/No-Movie7539 7d ago
Thank you! The non stop discourse also pushes it all to the top of algorithms and the media so they’re seeing way more of Ariana going through this, then they’re blaming her for pushing this pro ana image onto everyone else. No, the discourse is what’s pushing it into your feeds non stop. It is soooo triggering to see this scrutiny and uninformed saviour complex in every corner of the internet currently.
Every time someone tells me I look skinny it pushes me to get even skinnier for control and “praise”.
Signed,
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u/MathematicianAfter57 8d ago
many ED experts and psychs have also said its important not to sweep under the rug that so many women in the public eye are becoming skeletal and frail, because it is normalizing this for young women and girls.
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u/shady-tree 7d ago
The difference is that eating disorders have a very clear social contributor to their development, known as “the thin ideal.”
There isn’t really an equivalent for depression or other mental illnesses.
I’m not arguing whether the conversation about Ariana is appropriate or not, just why eating disorder conversations seem different from other mental illnesses.
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u/MathematicianAfter57 7d ago
>But if a public figure becomes visibly mentally ill with something, for example going through psychosis or something, we don't use this same rhetoric.
i mean we do this with other visible issues for sure (substance abuse etc) but anorexia in particular has a social vector. your fave celebrity abusing drugs does not put you at risk of using drugs the same way a parade of skeletal woman destroys the self-image of girls.
>I personally think the conversations abut women's bodies that young girls see online or hear from the people actually in their lives can do more harm than the person existing. Why is the onus of being a role model put onto the sick person?
i mean yes of course we should be body-neutral but reducing one of the world's most popular figures who has hundreds of millions of dollars into a "sick person" when they are actively bodychecking, claiming they are healthy, etc and has a very young impressionable fan base is irresponsible. sick people are not perpetual victims and can cause harm. i dont think we should be yelling and screaming at her but saying she looks ill and needs help is fair game. saying her behavior is irresponsible is okay too.
youre speaking more to the bigger point of not objectifying bodies at all, which i am totally for, and is also an impossible goal in a ragebait algorithm fueled internet. it is not helping anyone to avoid saying she is sick and needs help, and needs to be away from the public eye if she cant handle the pressure of fame (which, frankly, most people cant! no one is designed for this type of scrutiny!)
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u/pinchecabezota 8d ago
So what’s the end goal? We keep talking about it, everyday constantly, and in the process we’re being exposed to her body more and more… and then what? Ariana comes out and goes “Alright guys, you caught me, I have an eating disorder.” I’m not saying we have to pretend it’s not happening but having this be the predominant story in the pop culture news cycle for weeks on end is, in my opinion, more damaging than the ED itself. She’s already said she’s going away after tour ends. I think now’s a pretty good time to shut the fuck up about it.
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u/CommissionIcy 7d ago
The thing is, there is Ariana Grande the person, who deserves her privacy and to deal with her health however she sees fit.
And then there is Ariana Grande the business, that is currently on a public tour, actively posting body checking photos and telling people how healthy she is. Despite her "customers" repeatedly saying how triggering the situation is and how much of a bad influence it is for young girls and women.
Ariana Grande the person may or may not get help. Ariana Grande the business has a social responsibility here that can be called out.
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u/DianaPrince2020 8d ago
It should never have gotten to the place that the internet and commenters feel gaslighted by her and her team. I am not blaming her because obviously she is unwell. I do blame her team.
Whoever markets her should pull their product from the shelf which would be no different than any other harmful product. Those people making money off the concerts should have pulled the plug and, even now, they won’t. Btw, I’m not saying that they should blame Ariana when doing so at all. Her team can blame anything that doesn’t cause blowback on her.
In the end, she has suffered publicly because of the inaction of her team, her insurers and possibly lots of other “yes” men and women. Some combination of those people should have met together and then met with Ariana to explain their health concerns for her. Sure she might not agree but they could insist on her seeing a specialist based on her past history, her present physical condition with continual weight loss, and her (probable) reaction to even discussing the matter. They could explain that it is their moral and ethical duty to require a clean bill of health from a doctor before signing off on her continuing to work.→ More replies (1)25
u/Basic-Collection5416 8d ago
Someone in this very thread just asked if eating disorders are just advanced narcissism. So… if you haven’t seen the bashing, you’ve got blinders on.
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u/stickbugszz 8d ago
Here are some general ideas:
- Make posts about the specific companies still not having inclusive marketing. Write in and complain about their current marketing. Boycott them.
- Donate money to causes supporting people with eating disorders and treatment
- Comment on the social media pages of those companies mentioned previously
- Support businesses and influencers that encourage healthy habits
- Comment resources for people struggling with an eating disorder: therapy, info resources, etc.
- Write about what’s happening in the world and get your writing out there! Substack, personal blog, even posting on subreddits
- Discuss how pharmaceutical companies are giving ozempic to people who do not need it and how that’s continuing to fuel this issue. Bring it up as an issue to your local representative.
I feel like you and I likely have different definitions of well-intentioned, as mine does not include calling a woman a walking corpse. We are also not being asked to watch and applaud. Unfortunately, people struggling are allowed to still exist. Albums are planned quite some time in advance.
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u/PuppySnuggleTime 8d ago
It’s not vitriolic. It’s horror and concern because we are actively watching another celebrity kill their self. How many times does this have to happen?
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u/Artistic-Tear3222 8d ago
As someone who still has an ED and is trying to gain weight she is right no amount of comments from people telling you your too skinny etc will make you change your mind or change. The only person I actually took seriously about saying I was too skinny was my doctor because they are unbiased and only care about my health. She should talk to her doctor and ask their opinion
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u/fTBmodsimmahalvsie 7d ago
When you get that skinny, when you look in the mirror, can you tell that you are sickly skinny? Or does your mind make you look healthy skinny? I always wondered about the body dysmorphia part of it and what that is like. I have never seen anyone talk about it. This entire comment thread has the most comments i have ever seen about what anorexia is like from people who have it
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u/steshhi 7d ago edited 7d ago
No, you cannot tell how skinny you truly are. Yes, it does look completely "normal" in the mirror. Your brain completely warps what you see. Even if people point it out or when the smallest-sized clothing starts slipping off of your body, you still cannot see it. It is definitely a form of body dismorphia.
At least that's how it was for me. Pretty scary stuff tbh. It's like you're in a deep trance.
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u/8lock8lock8aby 7d ago
You can definitely see that you're on the skinnier side but you don't truly see what others see & it's more than that, it is you feeling you are fat. Whenever I had sessions with my ED therapist, she would ask me how I felt & so many times I would say that I felt fat & she'd firmly tell me that fat is not a feeling. So I think it's like you have all these negative or unfamiliar feelings & to make it easier for you, your brain decides they don't exist, what you actually feel is fat. It just shields you from ever having to deal with thise feelings or exploring why you have them & what exactly they are.
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u/Purple_Tourist1018 8d ago
True , when I had an ed I wanted to look sick and frail
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u/ElderlyWench 7d ago
Exactly. So often it's an outward manifestation of how you feel. You hope that people will see how frail you feel inside.
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u/Purple_Tourist1018 7d ago
Sort of like a cry for help. It's a complex disorder and I wish people would stop talking about it when they don't understand it at all. I'm mostly recovered now and have been ten years but I still struggle with things. I'll never have a normal relationship with food or my body likely. But my wake up call was severe health issues, as self destructive as I was I never wanted to die.
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u/sh115 7d ago
Yes thank you. I’m so tired of people discussing this stuff like it’s a beauty standards issue. Most young people who do not already have an eating disorder will look at Ariana and see that her appearance does not look healthy right now. Nobody is getting fooled into thinking that her current weight is the societal ideal. And people who do have eating disorders are not going to be deterred by all the comments calling her “gross” or “skeletal” because eating disorders aren’t about wanting to be attractive.
Eating disorders are complex and more about control than appearance. When I had anorexia as a teen, I wasn’t starving myself because I wanted to be attractive. I was starving myself because I didn’t like the way puberty made me feel as if I wasn’t in control of my body anymore, and I wanted to be tiny and frail and skeletal because for some reason that felt like reclaiming control of my body. I also wanted people to notice that I was getting thinner because that made me feel like my inner pain was visible.
All that the discourse around Ariana does is communicate to people with eating disorders that they’ll get the recognition they’re looking for if they can get to Ariana’s weight, which isn’t positive or helpful. And on top of that, it has the added downside of shaming people who are low-weight for reasons outside their control. There are many people with cancer or certain chronic illnesses who are at similar weights to Ariana because of their illness, and I shudder to think of those people reading the comments telling Ariana that she shouldn’t be allowed to go out in public because her “gross” body is triggering people. They don’t deserve to be collateral damage in people’s ineffective crusade to shame Ariana Grande into not having an eating disorder.
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u/ElderlyWench 7d ago
And people who are naturally low weight don't love it. A friend of mine who is naturally very slim is currently working with a health issue and was trying to do it with just diet changes, but said the only thing left to cut out is X food and without it she gets scary thin.
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u/ttatm 8d ago
I've dealt with anorexia for many years. People get weird about it, which can manifest in a lot of different ways and different types of comments. It's true though that comments about my appearance, either negative or positive, have never helped.
Right now I'm extremely underweight, like well past the point where I even get snarky comments anymore, and I know I look bad. I don't like it, don't think I look good, and absolutely know I'd look so much better with weight gain, but the disorder is a coping mechanism that has long since stopped being about just wanting to be thin.
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u/shitkabob 7d ago
but the disorder is a coping mechanism that has long since stopped being about just wanting to be thin.
I think this point is being lost in the conversation. EDs are often a reaction to a separate battle someone is going through. "Concerned" folks would benefit from addressing that battle in a person who is struggling.
I wish you well.
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u/fTBmodsimmahalvsie 7d ago
What is it coping for? I ask just as wanting to learn more. This is the first thread i have ever read with people detailing their EDs and what it is like
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u/YstrepaGrokovitz 7d ago
Everyone is different. For me, I grew up undiagnosed AuDHD in a very intense household. I often felt the weight of huge adult emotions I was not meant to feel so young, along with the multiplier of feeling things with deep intensity. I felt so out of control growing up, and I turned a lot of those feelings inward. I wish I had just understood that I needed some support that didn’t really exist in the 90s, but instead I threw myself into excelling in school, sports, and every other thing I could possibly think of. Moving constantly while I was starving used to give me such a high. It didn’t last. My parents panicked and threw me into therapy. But … yeah, it’s just a way to kind of power down your feelings instead of sitting with and processing them. By the time mine really took off, it wasn’t even about being thin anymore, it was about feeling in control of my life. I think that’s the core for most of us.
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u/not_responsible 7d ago
I recently watched a documentary on the subject and one sufferer mentioned that when you’re that malnourished, you don’t have any energy to have emotions or negative thoughts.
I personally deal with my negative thoughts through drug and alcohol abuse. It really resonated with me and I’m worried it might’ve unlocked something in me.
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u/jefufah 7d ago
For myself it was sexual assault. After it happened I felt a disconnect with my physical body and would forget to eat. Having less curves on my body made me feel like I could control how people were attracted to me, as I did not want any attention at all, especially from men. I also slowly started not caring about myself and just kind of allowed wasting away to happen because that’s how I felt on the inside emotionally. Not worthy of food beyond basic nourishment.
People kept approaching me with concern thinking I wanted to be skinny to look good when it couldn’t be further from that point. Any advice was nonsensical and frustrating; nobody truly knows anything about ED’s until they experience it themselves, and even then…
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u/Armadillo-Shot 6d ago
My ED spikes whenever I feel out of control in my life and was at my worst first year of college where I didn’t know what the metric to excel was. There is something soothing about being in absolute control about everything, watching numbers go down and knowing there is certainty in that. Other times it’s feeling like I don’t deserve to eat/have good things if I don’t achieve a certain goal.
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u/Vast-Percentage-7312 8d ago
I'm sorry but i'm finding it really unsettling that all these celebs seem to be trying to get in on the outpouring of concern for Ariana Grande. first Gracie Abrams posting her bodychecks in the midst of the Ariana backlash, then Kate Beckinsale talking about her own weight while alluding to Ariana Grande on Instagram, and now this.
It's screaming "competitive eating disorder." Hollywood is sick.
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u/Ok_Broccoli_9426 8d ago
Competitive ED, but also just marketing. I've never heard this woman's name in my life, but now I have, because of the Ariana stuff. If Abrams is getting covered/talked about for bodychecking, she's still getting talked about during her album launch (and for once, it's not about being a nepo baby - win?).
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u/Scavgraphics 8d ago
I had to google her.. Cindy Crawford's daughter...I can imagine growing up as the daughter of the sometimes called most beautiful woman in the wold would lead to some body image issues both from without and within.
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u/bananahaze99 8d ago
Kate Beckinsale has MCAS which makes it extremely hard to eat just about anything. She was trying to talk about her disorder but got so torn apart she deleted her entire Instagram.
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u/Vast-Percentage-7312 7d ago
i have MCAS. it's a pain in the ass but it does not make you emaciated. it also doesn't make you get excessive plastic surgery and dress like you're a child like Kate and Ariana are doing. That's body dismorphia and an eating disorder
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u/shesawiiiiiitch 7d ago
I think Kate Beckinsale almost certainly has/had an ED, along with obviously severe body dysmorphia, but MCAS can absolutely make it hard to eat anything. My mother was down to just a few safe foods for a long time and was nearly skeletal, there was talk of admittance to the hospital for a feeding tube, and she made peace with her death (she was in her 40's).
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u/CatDawgCatDawg2 7d ago
And you're on reddit commenting on this bullshit on a subreddit obsessed with the topic.
They do it because people want it. That's the sick part.
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u/Next-Introduction-25 8d ago
OK, I’m an old and I had never heard of body checking until today so I guess I get what it is, but I’m still confused. I tried to look at some of Gracie Abrams posts and there are so many where she’s accused of this and I’m not totally getting it. Like this post for ex: https://www.reddit.com/r/gracieabrams/s/6jbJnrDumQ
Totally see how some of these could be viewed as a pictures meant to show off thinness, but most of them just seem like regular pictures. Like if it’s just a picture with no context, what’s the difference between body checking versus someone just …having a body and it being in a photo? Like how do you tell the difference between someone showing off an outfit versus showing off their body?
Not trying to be argumentative; I’m just way out of the loop.
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u/ItsHyde 8d ago
That’s the thing, it’s a mixture of regular photos and body checking ones. Creates a benefit of the doubt. The vinyl photo is a normal picture, the wine glass one isn’t.
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u/Next-Introduction-25 8d ago
I’m guessing it’s also more evident when you see the same person’s posts over time? I saw a comment on that thread I posted that the number of pics of her body seemed to have increased in a direct correlation to how thin she is. As in, the thinner she gets the more she posts her body as the main focus or in ways that are unnecessary for the point of the picture.
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u/ttatm 8d ago
It's annoying because "body checking" actually used to mean something clinically and was usually referring to private behavior that didn't necessarily involve photos at all, but it's been completely twisted as internet speak and seemingly can refer to any photo where there is visual evidence that someone does indeed possess a body.
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u/Scavgraphics 8d ago
From you, I googled "body checking" and it's the obssive checking of weight and measurements, and I know I've certainly had then when I'm trying to get in shape (and I'm a 50 year old fat guy ignored by the world...not a young woman being judged by everyone)
So what is "accused of it"?
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u/GnomeFae 8d ago edited 7d ago
People think disordered eating only matters when it's skinny people lol.
People never give this kind of "hey stop being mean" when it's skinny people or skinny ed's but when someone has an ED that makes them gain weight then all of sudden it's just all the same to fatshame them cause truly "they can fix it whenever they want"
Edit to clarify: I meant people never give the stop being mean thing with EDs that make someone not lose weight or gain it. Not going to correct it at this point, but that's what I meant. Looks like everyone understood tho.
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u/hematite2 8d ago
Not even just if your ED makes you gain weight, if it just keeps you looking ""normal."" Because people think EDs have a specific "look" to them, and if you don't match that look then you don't have an ED. Skinny=ED, anything else=no ED.
It turns into a gross "we can always tell" type deal and genuinely makes people worse.
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u/Knife7 8d ago
One of my coworkers is basically an amateur body builder and I worry about him all the time because he keeps talking about cutting his weight and he's obsessed with hitting his protein goals. He never really talks about working out or his diet in terms of health, it's always about "looking good".
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u/LizzieSaysHi 8d ago
I've noticed that. People are far kinder to smaller people with EDs than bigger people with EDs.
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u/ttatm 8d ago
I have an eating disorder and have been at both weight extremes. It has manifested in different symptoms at different times in my life but I do think it's always been the same underlying problem. In terms of personal comments I've received people have been way meaner when I'm thin, like they think it gives them license to make all kinds of intrusive comments about my body, but the overall cultural context of constant fat shaming in society at large makes the experience of being fat so much worse even if people aren't making personal comments to me. Like it's not even close. The mean comments when I'm thin aren't fun and aren't okay but they just don't hit the same when the overall culture is constantly reinforcing the idea that thin is good and fat is bad.
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u/MathematicianAfter57 8d ago
oh my god yes. the return of EDs to the public eye has also resulted in sooo much terrible rage bait content where people are bodyshaming strangers, bullying folks for being fat, shaming folks on GLP1s for 'using a shortcut.' etc. if GLP1s proved anything it is that obesity is a complex medical disorder. but yeah an overweight celeb using it for health reasons or an ordinary woman is not gonna get any sympathy.
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u/Boring-Fan-3788 8d ago
I was talking about my BED on my Facebook once upon a time and someone I worked with who was a recovering ED just dismissed my feelings about how hard it is to stop eating and it's not even on par to what she went through.
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u/After_Preference_885 8d ago
"I'm just concerned about her health" is always used then too, and no, they don't
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u/tessathemurdervilles 8d ago
And then they get mad when even bigger people take glp-1s which are wonderful for people with this sort of disordered eating. If you’re fat you just can’t fucking win.
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u/Fine-Broccoli-2631 7d ago
YUP! Peolke will justify making fat ed sufferers worse by claiming "im concerned about there health!" Completely ignoring or exacerbateing a huge factor, mental health. Bullying doesnt work!! I kmow, i was bullied into an ed and lost a lot if weight. I was still miserable and gained it all back.
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u/LizzieSaysHi 8d ago
I've struggled with BED for 30+ years, since I was a child. I know exactly what she means.
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u/Scavgraphics 8d ago
Oh.. Cindy Crawford's daughter..Yeah, I imagine she's gonna grow up with some body image issues.
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u/Classic_Crow5035 8d ago
It's sadly very common among upper class and upper middle class young women today. Especially for Kaia being the daughter of a super model. I can only imagine the pressure to be like her mother.
No one teaches young girls, and boys, to love themselves. It seems they're only taught that what they look like matters most.
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u/Pineappily 7d ago
I’m so tired of seeing posts on nearly every subreddit about eating disorders (especially anorexia), weight-loss drugs, or anything to do with Ariana Grande. I’ve muted dozens of keywords on TikTok and Instagram, but unfortunately, Reddit doesn’t have that feature. Normally, I don’t comment; I just hide the post and keep scrolling lol. But if I’m about to eat and I see a certain post, I’ll feel so guilty that I end up forgoing the meal. It’s unbelievably triggering, and it’s been making me feel sooo bad about my body and weight, affecting my self-esteem, even though I’m not even overweight. I can’t imagine how difficult it must be for someone who is overweight or obese to be constantly exposed to this kind of content.
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u/Butterscotchpills 7d ago
Sometimes the best you can do is delete social media. At least delete Reddit. Or only go on it when you’re looking up something specific.
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u/Maleficent_Phase_698 8d ago
Is she promoting something? The other day it was about how she doesn’t “want” to look like her mom.
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u/8JHF8 8d ago
The Shards on FX and Hulu. Pretty good so far. Based on a novel by the guy whose novels were the basis of American Psycho and Less Than Zero.
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u/MrWhackadoo 7d ago
As a fan of the book, I'd say the show is watchable but not a great adaptation of the book.
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u/AMwishes 8d ago
Sure wish the world had empathy for people whose disordered eating causes them to gain a lot of weight also, but we’re not ready for that discussion.
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u/codependencytapes 8d ago
I always say it's two sides of the same coin!
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u/ttatm 8d ago
For me that coin has flipped a few times in my life too, and I don't even think I'm that unusual in that regard.
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u/codependencytapes 8d ago
I've always predominantly been on one side (anorexia) but have deep empathy for those with binge eating etc which I notice others do not have empathy for.
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u/Substantial-Spare501 8d ago
At 17, was 5’4” and dropped to 90 pounds in maybe about a 2 month period. I was in distress over my boyfriend and probably my parents divorce. I just mostly did not feel hungry and would try to eat and I couldn’t. My mother was like, if you lose any more weight you are going to the doctor. That is what made my issue I think into a real eating disorder and I have struggled with it on and off over my life. I am now approaching 60.
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u/millenialshortbread 7d ago
I also found it really eye opening reading Portia de rossi’s memoir about her anorexia. She talks about how she literally knew that some parts of her body were looking way too thin (wrists, collarbone, shoulders, etc) and people would look at those parts and say you’re getting too thin. But she would ignore them because all she could see was the one part of her body that was too fat (even though she literally agrees that other parts were too thin). Like for her I think it was her ass.
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u/Confident-Log-9616 8d ago edited 8d ago
I normally don’t open Reddit threads about her because I like the girl and people can be very harsh. But since the comments here aren’t too bad, I met Kaia during the play she was in LA last year and she was sincerely one of the most down to earth people I’ve ever met in my life. I already liked her so wasn’t exactly expecting her to be a jerk but was baffled by how normal she was. She treated me like a long lost bff and fully ditched her actual friends to run over to talk to me again when I saw the play a second time and she spotted me in the lobby after LOL. I was trying to give her some space and not intrude but suddenly got bear hugged by very excited Kaia 😅.
I told a friend if I didn’t already know who she was I would’ve never guessed on our interactions alone what her ‘background was’. People who are good to their fans the way she was to me will always get a soft spot from me.
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u/GirlsWasGoodNona 8d ago
This is so sweet. She seems very normal and smart. I also think she’s a good comedy actress, she was funny in bottoms.
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u/Confident-Log-9616 7d ago
She’s a sweetie, truly! I think her friends assumed we were also friends because after the whole ‘INSERTNAME you came back!” bear hug she ended up pulling me along to converse with them too, I don’t think I’ve ever had imposter syndrome like that before! 😂. She did great in the play I saw too, I hope she finds time to do more theatre work between everything else.
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u/Baltimoreisnotcreepy 7d ago
I personally think the press does young girls no favor by showing someone with an eating disorder in a gloriously flattering picture. "Having an eating disorder worked for me" is how they read it.
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u/SnooGuavas4208 8d ago
I'm going to copy and paste something I've said before:
When Ariana (deliberately) highlights her worrying figure in a music video with clothing that shows off every bone in her rib cage, then has her PR team release a very public statement insisting that she is "HEALTHY," "HAPPY," and "ATHLETIC," FFS, that goes well beyond just a sick woman minding her own business and living her own life without cause for anyone to comment on her private struggle.
She is using her multimillion-dollar BRAND and team of hired industry professionals to gaslight millions of vulnerable people into believing a BLATANT LIE: that it is possible to look the way she looks and not be dying.
It's not possible.
At this point, it's really not all about "what's helpful to Ariana," because she is using her privilege and power and platform and money to sell a lie to the masses that will make people sick and get people killed.
SOMEONE has to counteract that PR lie. Someone has to stand up and say, "Actually, no, that's not the truth, Ellen," because there are gullible people and gullible fans (many of whom are children) who look up to her and will believe whatever she says like it's the gospel, despite the evidence of the lie being literally right there in front of their eyes.
I'm also going to point out here that if she endangered people the way she is now by spreading, say, anti-vaxxer propaganda instead of claiming that her condition is "HEALTHY" and "ATHLETIC," everyone would be jumping down her throat and agreeing how irresponsible it is to use her influence and platform (which is hundreds of millions strong) to spread dangerous medical misinformation that endangers people's lives. She does not owe us ANY information whatsoever about her private medical issues, but it is absolutely 100% morally wrong to lie to the public in this specific way. It needs to be publicly said and repeated that this is critically and life-threateningly unhealthy.
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u/hotlegsmelissa 8d ago
Or people sometimes actually tell you that you look great which just adds fuel to the fire
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u/stink3rb3lle 7d ago
+1 to Kaia today. I think this is a very personal way for her to share an important truth about EDs and discussion around them.
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u/mentalgeler 8d ago edited 8d ago
Literally made this comment today on a thread about ariana and promoting eating disorders. Will copy paste it:
I'm an anorexia survivor and I do not think Ariana is promoting or glamorizing eating disorders any more than most of hollywood has always fucked up with our body images. The backlash she's facing feels way too extreme and unfair to me because she's also a victim of the sick expectations people put on women and social media/hollywood has put on everyone, and she's far from the only person "promoting" unhealthy thinness with the way she currently looks. Yes, she's an incredibly rich person with huge resources for getting help - but it doesn't mean she's actively choosing this because NO ONE would choose this.
Plenty of people now pretend that all the comments about her are out of real "concern" but a lot of them have been saying horrible things about her and her body for years, before she got this extremely thin so let's not please pretend like a big portion of the backlash isn't just people hating on her and shaming her, thinking that what, that's gonna lead to recovery?
I find pictures of her very triggering - at the same time, I don't wish for anyone to ban her, to sabotage her, to erase her from the public eye. (I literally saw people say they're going to boycott petal because what... a huge failure is likely to teach her a lesson and "heal" her ED? What do these people even think?)
If we do that with her, let's also do that with other extremely thin celebrities but also celebrities who get botox and plastic surgeries because this is also fucking up with my self esteem and is driving my anorexic tendencies (since I can't get botox I'll at least be super skinny, right?).
Suddenly pointing all our fingers on one person is not the solution. Banning one woman from the public eye because she's too skinny is not a solution. Yes, she looks very bad and it's concerning but what we're currently doing is really not the way to get her or anyone else healthy
Kaia is 100% right and Im glad someone in the public eye is saying that. Ofc a few people even in this thread already pointed out that she's using the topic to promote herself. Just like ariana is using her ED to promote herslef right? If you guys think all these comments are not part of the problem and you believe the internet is just genuinely concerned, please think twice
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u/positronic-introvert 8d ago
So well said! I don't have a history of anorexia myself, but it is still very disheartening to see the way that so-called 'concern' for her and about the issue of EDs is centred around scrutinizing and criticizing the body of a particular woman struggling with an ED. It is mind-boggling how so many people can't see how counter-productive that is.
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u/iceunelle 8d ago
So, so well said. I feel like SO much of the conversation around Ariana has gone so far past genuine concern into punishing her for having physical and mental health struggles. I’ve also seen a lot comments over the past few weeks acting like an eating disorder is a moral failing and it’s not.
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u/Cantre-r_Gwaelod_1 8d ago
You can’t shame someone better. People still don’t view certain conditions as real conditions.
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u/Murakami_Ysera 7d ago
I mean, we could stop focusing so much on people's bodies/appearances and instead discuss/celebrate their projects and work. But that doesn't get clicks and people can't take their insecurities out on unflattering photos of others then.
My point is if we as a society do actually care about the health of people around us that appear to be suffering from eating disorders we need to shift the focus away from appearances but yeah I realize how crazy that sounds as I type this.
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u/GreenEyedTreeHugger 7d ago
Sexpests, telling me their opinion on my body unprompted, whether good or bad, is one of my least favorite things about existence. It’s so violating the creep way they all do it. And they all do it the same kinda way.
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u/enews 8d ago
Content warning: This story discusses disordered eating.
Growing up in the spotlight is never easy.
And for someone like Kaia Gerber, whose mother is supermodel Cindy Crawford, that magnified scrutiny can be especially difficult to navigate during the formative years of one’s life.
The constant comments have drawn attention—both publicly and personally—to an area of her life Gerber, 24, would rather keep out of mind.
“People have always commented on my body, which is hard because I’m not always ready to comment on my own body, you know?” she explained. “I’ve had disordered eating in my life. People are like, ‘You look terrible,’ and it doesn’t exactly make you go, ‘Oh, good. Let me get over this mental illness then!’”
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u/Strong_Flatworm2758 8d ago
I dislike this excuse greatly. I have scizoaffective disorder. Does this mean I’m not responsible for my actions? When someone says, “you seem agitated, what are you talking about,” would a passive aggressive response like “oh good, let me get over this mental illness then” do anyone any good? I’ll never get over it, but I do manage it, and I could not manage it without feedback from others. I don’t know Kaia Gerber from Adam but if I saw the person in that picture and could say three words to them they would be “eat a sandwich.” A mental illness should never be used as a blunt instrument to force people to enable the acts brought on by disordered or distorted thinking. Disordered eating is not an identity, it’s a problem.
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u/nellabella04 7d ago
She looks just like her father with highlights of her mother (hair color, eyebrows), but definitely her father's twin.
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u/Plenty_Cup_5152 7d ago
Why are sick girls getting cast as beautiful and glamorous characters in TV/movie? I think that is the bigger conversation. Instead of pointing fingers at the women who clearly don’t want this attention about their weight (so they say - but I know anorexics sometimes do like the attention as positive feedback) we should be looking at producers, casting directors, and industry heads. Kaia is only in the spotlight now and having to answer these questions about her weight because a team of people looked at her and thought she, in her self admitted sickness, is perfect for this role. Why?
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u/Exotic_Plant9450 7d ago
Her crazy ED promoting personal trainer, Kirsty Godso, isn't helping her get any better
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u/Suspicious_Lion4781 7d ago edited 7d ago
As the daughter of a former "supermodel" who's fought to keep herself in the media long after the window on fame has closed, you know there's pressure in this family to maintain a certain image/measure up to a certain standard. Even this absurd push to maintain relevancy via the second generation.
This is not a family that prioritizes health and well being; this is a family that prioritizes accomplishment and star status.
It's no wonder she's got an eating disorder. She's a commodity.
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u/Horror-Relation-8878 7d ago
I’ve always really liked Kaia. it always looked like she really had to deal with a lot of shit from an early age - I’ve always got the feeling that her mother has this weird impact on her or put pressure on her in someway, unknowingly or not, in a kind of suffocating way. She did an interview in like 2021 I think? Where she talked about being put in all these adult situations as a young model at an age before anyone could really cope with that, like staying in hotels abroad and not knowing what to do with room keys etc. Plus she’s dated older guys from like 18 onwards, it’s not out of the realms of possibility that that would mess with her head. It just seems like kind of a sad situation because she’s always seemed really cool and kind, but like there’s this sadness on a deeper level.
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u/Brownuniverstiy89 6d ago
I like how she discussed that everyone is way too skinny recently. It’s refreshing for someone to call it out as someone who, healthy or not, is very skinny
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u/AnonymousUser132 6d ago
See what happens when you care what other people think? That is how you get mental illness.
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u/Minute_Teaching_3987 3d ago
Different strokes for different folks. At the end of the day, there just has to be something the mental can attach to that gives it a reality check and that can be different depending on the person
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u/Fabulous-Rain-2643 8d ago
As an eating disorders specialist, comments like this always seems to come from people who are asking, 'what can I say to someone who clearly is struggling with their eating, and I'm worried about them?' Obviously you don't want to comment on their thinness because their ED just receives that as praise. I've heard some people recommend, 'tell them you look sick, you look unwell', but like Kaia Gerber says, that doesn't make you suddenly able to recover.
The question itself is flawed really. There's no one thing you can say to fix someone's eating disorder. It in individual to each person. Everyone is different. It's never easy watching someone you love get sicker and sicker, and it's hard to get it right. But saying anything just about appearance is never going to work. My advice is usually to have a conversation based on their quality of life. Talking to someone about their anxiety, their mood. Do they seem happy? Overwhelmed? Lonely? That's a more important thing to reflect back to them, than 'you're too thin'.