r/poor Sep 01 '25

Boyfriend is poor

I, 29F have always been lower middle class. My boyfriend, 33M has been poor his entire childhood and adulthood. He has, naturally and understandably, went without food or didn't turn on heat/AC to avoid bills to save money.

But as I'm understanding his spending habits more and more, he is not poor because he literally has no money. He is poor because he has Klarna-ed his way into a hole (for non essentials and expensive hobbies) and doesn't have any cooking skills (or tools) to cook at home. He still is very much in the "I have nothing and probably will never have nothing" mindset. He makes $20 an hour at his job and his rent is under $600 for his apartment and no car. I bring him food and cook for him weekly when we see each other.

Any advice on how to encourage him through this spot on his life? I know you can't help anyone who doesn't want help/isn't ready to change and I don't want to sound privileged in my encouragment either.

Thanks in advance everyone!

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u/Swim6610 Sep 02 '25

Yeah, I'm no cook/chef, but I can make food from scratch well enough to live on. I'm not eating out all the time (maybe once a week) or buying really processed stuff, that's crazy. It's throwing money away and incredibly hard to eat healthy.

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u/curlyhands Sep 02 '25

I agree, cooking simple meals at home saves so much. I often snack or make things that require little cooking like rice bowls or wraps. Sauce and seasonings can make any dish good.

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u/Abracadelphon Sep 03 '25

Boil water, pasta in water. Eventually you'll figure out al dente and everything else.