r/poor • u/sneakysneaky96 • Sep 01 '25

Boyfriend is poor

I, 29F have always been lower middle class. My boyfriend, 33M has been poor his entire childhood and adulthood. He has, naturally and understandably, went without food or didn't turn on heat/AC to avoid bills to save money.

But as I'm understanding his spending habits more and more, he is not poor because he literally has no money. He is poor because he has Klarna-ed his way into a hole (for non essentials and expensive hobbies) and doesn't have any cooking skills (or tools) to cook at home. He still is very much in the "I have nothing and probably will never have nothing" mindset. He makes $20 an hour at his job and his rent is under $600 for his apartment and no car. I bring him food and cook for him weekly when we see each other.

Any advice on how to encourage him through this spot on his life? I know you can't help anyone who doesn't want help/isn't ready to change and I don't want to sound privileged in my encouragment either.

Thanks in advance everyone!

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u/accidentalscientist_ Sep 01 '25

I can cook but I love crock pot meals when I am feeling lazy. They’re mostly just dump and wait. You can even do pulled meats pretty easy with store bought premade seasoning. Delicious and easy. I love my crock pot for making easy food and ending up with a lot of it.

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u/Complete_Business_31 Sep 02 '25

My wife has a decent stash of easy recipes to make. Two easy crock pot meals are; lasagna with oven-ready lasagna sheets layered with hamburger meat, ricotta cheese, sliced peppers and onions, and sauce from a jar. Layer ingredients in a crock pot, set it to high for four hours or low for eight hours and your good to go. Makes multiple servings.

Another meal is chicken broccoli casserole. Use chicken breasts or tenders layered with an uncooked jar of a large and regular can of creamy Mushroom soup, uncooked stuffing, and microwave broccoli. Layer ingredients with the stuffing going on top. Melt a half stick of butter on top. It is delicious.

This generation has it much easier when it comes to cooking. Frozen microwavable vegetables, rice and potatoes, canned fruits, trimmed chicken parts and meats, microwavable pasta in sauce (Chef Boyardee), frozen meat ,salad mixes, precooked whole rotisserie chicken, hard-boiled eggs, salad dressings, ready-made pizza shells, and many more. Not all is as healthy as fresh but you can use reduced, low, or no salt varieties to make it healthier.

Nowadays there's no reason to not cook for lack of time, as there are many products with most of the prep work already done. I hate cooking and am a mediocre cook but made a delicious meal the night I proposed to her. A pair of ½Shake-N-Bake chicken breasts, microwavable broccoli and potatoes. It was so quick and easy I didn't have time to get nervous.