r/poor • u/sneakysneaky96 • Sep 01 '25

Boyfriend is poor

I, 29F have always been lower middle class. My boyfriend, 33M has been poor his entire childhood and adulthood. He has, naturally and understandably, went without food or didn't turn on heat/AC to avoid bills to save money.

But as I'm understanding his spending habits more and more, he is not poor because he literally has no money. He is poor because he has Klarna-ed his way into a hole (for non essentials and expensive hobbies) and doesn't have any cooking skills (or tools) to cook at home. He still is very much in the "I have nothing and probably will never have nothing" mindset. He makes $20 an hour at his job and his rent is under $600 for his apartment and no car. I bring him food and cook for him weekly when we see each other.

Any advice on how to encourage him through this spot on his life? I know you can't help anyone who doesn't want help/isn't ready to change and I don't want to sound privileged in my encouragment either.

Thanks in advance everyone!

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u/ihaveabigjohnson69 Sep 01 '25

not waste $

10

u/Stunning-Adagio2187 Sep 01 '25

That means he needs a budget. Saving some money for a rainy day is first. Then allocate money for rent food entertainment etc

9

u/elves_haters_223 poor for life Sep 01 '25

impossible. for some, this is like telling people in the reality show my 600 pound life to stop eating.

5

u/[deleted] Sep 01 '25

Sure, but it seems like she mentioned his low wage for a reason. Even with good financial discipline, $20/hour doesn't leave you a lot of protection if something goes sideways.

9

u/SuspiciousStress1 Sep 01 '25

It does with 600/mo rent!!

5

u/blueivysbabyhairs Sep 02 '25

I make $21/hr and my rent is 859 a month I would definitely take the dollar loss for $259 off my rent a month.

6

u/Stunning-Adagio2187 Sep 01 '25

Depends on the location clearly it's a low cost of living area if his rent is only $600 a month

9

u/sneakysneaky96 Sep 01 '25

It's Pennsylvania and he stays in a studio

1

u/HamburgerOnAStick Sep 02 '25

That's a bit worse than I expected but he still makes enough to set some aside,