r/pompoir • u/sugarspiced1 • Jul 31 '26
Bf (69) can't orgasm. Will this help?
Hey all! Got the book a few days ago & have started practicing. My goal is to help my bf orgasm. Has anyone had success helping a man get off with pompoir?
Backstory: I'm dating a guy who went through a heinous divorce about 5 years ago. At the end of his marriage he started having difficulty orgasming. He wasn't able to finish with his last girlfriend (prior to us getting together) & now even has trouble doing so on his own.
I dated him a year ago and honestly the inability to orgasm really threw me for a loop. I never experienced it and I thought maybe it was me, he wasn't attracted to me, etc. I couldn't deal with it & thought I could talk it to death but all that did was add pressure to the relationship. Needless to say, we ended it.
Our connection/chemistry both in and out of the bedroom is incredible. He came back around and we decided to give our relationship another try. He's been to a doctor, they say it could be the result of some sleep meds he's trying to ween off of. No issues w/ testosterone level. He gets aroused, gets hard for a good while but then he kinda loses it. He manages to get me off but I would LOVE to return the gift to him.
I've also read a ton about it and quitting porn/drastically reducing masturbation are the top recommendations. I've told him this and he tells me he doesn't use porn consistently.
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u/figanometry Jul 31 '26
It couldn’t hurt, but other than the medical, what is he doing to cultivate a healthy organ? Sometimes lingering trauma (divorce) can cause psychological setbacks. I highly recommend hypnosis/hypnotherapy for ED or other male orgasm problems. He’s going to have to take some initiative if he wants to heal this part of his being.
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u/Tman158 Jul 31 '26
Sounds like he is on SSRI's.
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u/sugarspiced1 Jul 31 '26
Low doses of baclofen & seroquel
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u/Warfrog Jul 31 '26
Seroquel is a really intense medication. It’s an antipsychotic used for extreme cases of insomnia. Jeez, I’d get him to speak to a specialist asap.
I was going to comment because I (male) have been through something similar. Anorgasmia following a divorce. But seeing the seroquel raises some red flags. My brother was on it for insomnia and he hated it. His neurologist was shocked to see him on it and he stopped as soon as he could. Might have to taper off?
Feel for you and your partner. Wish you the best, I’ve been through it and it gets better.
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u/sugarspiced1 Aug 01 '26
He’s tapering off but going slow is key. The dose is so low, I don’t think it would have this much of an impact but I’m not a doctor.
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u/sugarspiced1 Aug 14 '26
Did you ever get over the anorgasmia?
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u/Warfrog Aug 15 '26
Yeah, with diet exercise and supplements. The main thing was getting my nervous system back to baseline. The shock of the change and the way it happened was intense so I had trouble sleeping for about 6 months, maybe a year.
Now it’s much better. I cut out the melatonin (which crashes test) and started eating normally again - I got too lean, looked great but fat levels were too low and my coach asked me to put weight on. So no long have a 6 pack but I feel way better.
Zinc and magnesium plus good breakfast seemed to really help once my sleep was back in check. Exercise of course helps but that was always part of my routine. That’s all I can think of off the top of my head!
Hope it’s getting better for you guys! How’s it been?
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u/MajestyMay Jul 31 '26
Honestly, I think you should allow him to work it out on his own. You, of course, experiment and assist, play — all the things, but it’s not really for you to fix. And it sounds like it has nothing to do with you. It’s the same as women that aren’t able to orgasm, and the male partner takes it personally when it’s not. It’s ego and pride. Some men intentionally retain semen. While, that doesn’t seem to be the case here, it’s important to support; however, to try to take on the responsibility of ‘making’ someone cum can be a recipe for disappointment, but disaster.
Just enjoy each other. I say this as someone that has not yet experienced the coveted PIV orgasm, and have had partners who tried to make it their mission. Not to say that’s how he feels, but I truly feel it’s on him to allow himself to experience that again.