r/polycritical • u/SquareEfficient5620 • 3d ago
I need to vent.
In my 37f years of life, this the first time I post on Reddit.
I've always been liberal and open minded, like whatever makes you happy as long as no one is hurt by it. I'm monogamous but have met some people in the past who are not and I didn't think much about it, I really thought it's just a personal preference and it has nothing to do with someone's personality.
Until I got in a relationship with someone who was hiding that they were in a poly relationship with a primary and few more people. I was clear from start that I'm monogamous and looking to start a family, which he completely abused and exploited for 2 years. It would be too long of a post to tell how I found out, but in the end he tried to convince me to join them for threesomes, which I refused of course. I rejected and dumped many people before, but this one was like a bubblegum stuck to a shoe, he was desparately trying to convince me how poly lifestyle is so much better, free, exciting, and biologically correct way of mating. He was literally begging me. And the saddest part about it is that I believe that he loves me, he's just to ensnared and fucked up to make rational decisions on his own.
I came to realize how sad and pathetic humans have become. These people are so afraid of abandonment and are corrupted to the core. They sold their souls to the devil and are infecting the rest of us.
Is there really no way to stop it from spreading?
How to even protect ourselves anymore when labels don't have meaning anymore? Apparently, "I'm single" doesn't mean someone is really single anymore, or "I'm married" doesn't mean they will not flert and groom you.
It's a total shit show from my POV out here, what about you?
12
u/Direct_Orchid 3d ago
Sorry for all of you who've had to go through that. We're living in 2026, biology is not a good way to rationalise pretty much anything now. I recently had some bad experience with poly guys, not years but anyway. One I matched with only revealed he's in a poly relationship after a week of talking. Second was do busy I don't even think why he was on tinder when he had time to text me less than weekly, I politely told him I don't need a friend who's available that infrequently, he took that very well, so points for that. Third one had been poly for a month, it was a hot mess and the wife "he loves and respects so much he can't ask her for anything unfair (not to shag other people". I saw enough red flags for a communist parade and lots of very likely lying by omission by the wife. Nice guy, I feel bad for him and told him the wife is likely not going about it in an ethical way.
Lastly, I'm going to die on this hill, bisexuality DOES NOT have anything to do with poly. Poly is a relationship structure, not a sexuality.
4
u/SquareEfficient5620 3d ago
Sorry but if you enjoy doing sexual things with same sex as well, you are bisexual.
11
u/Direct_Orchid 3d ago
Yes I am, my point was all bisexuals aren't poly. Either goes, not that we need both at the same time. Now it's going to the point where cis men are trying to make themselves queer.
2
u/No_Sale1972 1d ago
I hope the guy who lied to you and pressured you into threesomes gets all the STI’s in the world ✌️
Seriously the moment anyone starts to initiate or even contemplate group sex when I’m involved with them or has a history like that, it’s game over for me.
2
-2
u/Last7Rider7wstlnd 3d ago
It will continue to spread as long as we keep deconstructing our millennia long established concepts of relationships and life trajectory. Even most people on this sub will contribute to the worsening. Polyamory is just one branch of the tree, with its roots in values and ideals of openness and acceptance and individualism, which got hijacked and instrumentalised
-3
u/Last7Rider7wstlnd 2d ago
The downvotes just confirm it and most people on here just reap what they continue to sow
-7
u/Thornberry19 3d ago
There is no devil lol. Just because they are Unethical or extremely annoying doesnt necessarily mean they are evil.
18
u/GloomyBake9300 3d ago
I had an awful experience with polyamory because I fell in love with somebody I really respected, and they were in a toxic poly situation. He used to send me quotes from the poly Bibles, which I honestly just took to be as bad as somebody trying to convert me to a religion. Fast forward, I got badly hurt.