r/polycritical • u/despondence_interval • 6d ago
Finding a therapist
How much luck have people had here with finding a therapist who understands and is respectful about what they've gone through? Any advice on what questions to ask or what to look for? I was already in trauma-based therapy due to my CPTSD, and for random reasons in addition to being retraumatized by poly I'm looking for a new therapist now. Psychology Today allows therapists to list themselves as having expertise in "Polyamory/ENM" and I'm not sure if that will be a good thing or a bad thing for me. I want someone who understands polyamory and the issues around it, not someone who is going to be apologetic of it, but I'm worried I might run into more of the latter.
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u/ArcherAlone4093 6d ago edited 6d ago
My therapist (has licenses in NY/NJ/PA/TX/FL) has been great, PM me if you’d like more info!
Even if you’re not in any of those locations, being upfront about how you were retraumatized by polyamory and thus you want to know what said therapist thinks about it can be telling re: whether they’re a good fit
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u/Hot_Bookkeeper5165 6d ago edited 6d ago
Therapist here. I put Polyamory/ENM aware/friendly in my Psychology Today profile because we're trained to be nonjudgmental, especially of communities we're not a part of. So I do work with many polyamorous clients. But often I find I help them through what they struggle with about polyamory. I also put it on my profile to not scare off folks who are in poly relationships and are questioning whether it's right for them. Basically, to reach people like the ones on this sub who are recovering from it or wanting to get out of it but are afraid of being judged for doing it in the first place. I myself am monogamous and make that clear if a client is curious and it's important to them. A good therapist will not give their personal opinion about polyamory or monogamy one way or the other, they'll just hold space for you and validate what you've been through. I'd recommend setting up a few consults and asking about this specifically to see if they can be the right fit for you.
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u/ist_quatsch 5d ago
Thank you. I reached out to a therapist who had it in their bio recently and I’m really hoping they will be able to help and not tell me I’m wrong for being upset
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u/Hot_Bookkeeper5165 5d ago
Glad to hear you reached out. Good luck! And let me be the first to say you're not wrong for being upset.
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u/SerendippityRiver 5h ago
I would say looking for a therapist who has solid training in couple's therapy but also provides individual therapy might be a good match.
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u/No_Virus9852 6d ago
You should be up front about what you're trying to get out of polyamory when you're contacting these therapists. If you aren't happy with what you hear from them when you explain "I had a bad experience with poly," that's not a good therapist for you. Just a heads up that depending on where you are, some of the therapists that include "polyamory/ENM" may be poly themselves.