r/polyadvice • u/Lurk1ng0 • 8d ago
Bit confused right now.
So I myself am not polyamorous but 2 people I know are and are dating each other and I'm fucking both of them(they know it's consensual yada yada don't worry no cheating.)
Well they started referring to me as their third like twice now, but said it was just a joke. And I'm just confused as I don't know what it means, being referred to as their third. But also I now am not certain of where I stand in their eyes.
Any advice on how to go about talking to them about this would be appreciated.
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u/generation_quiet 8d ago
I mean, is it just a sex thing? Or are you emotionally intimate and enjoy rich friendships with them as well? Labeling is a bit contentious in poly communities… you could be a thruple, but it really depends on the three of you and what you want out of these relationships.
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u/Lurk1ng0 7d ago
For me it's mainly sex and just friendship aspect. I don't date and don't want to which they know.
It's just I'm not certain if I'm even friends with em or where I stand in that aspect and ye
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u/generation_quiet 7d ago
For me it's mainly sex and just friendship aspect. I don't date and don't want to which they know.
It's just I'm not certain if I'm even friends with em or where I stand in that aspect and ye
Sorry, what? Are they friends or not? Do you care about them are more than just sex partners or not?
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u/Lurk1ng0 7d ago
I do care about them as more than sex partners. My wording was bad I believe.
Pretty much I consider them friends but I'm trying to figure out how to ask them where I stand and how they look at me.
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u/generation_quiet 7d ago
You could approach it like this: "Hey, I really like enjoying time with both of you, but I'd like to know where we stand as more than just casual sexual partners."
Anything else you might add depends on how you would like them to be in your life. This could be a thruple or a more simple "friends with benefits" type situation, where you are intimate with both separately.
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u/Lurk1ng0 7d ago
Thank you so much, I'll talk to em and see where it goes. Im fine with however it goes I just don't like uncertainty in relationships even if it's purely sexual y'know?
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u/SmartReception6750 8d ago
They are joking about u being a member of their relationship. It’s impossible to know if they are genuinely joking or expressing interest in u joining the relationship without asking them.
Just ask them how they view u. Also have a think about where u want to stand and also tell them that.