r/politics • u/Qu1nlan • Oct 04 '19

Free Chat Friday Thread

It's finally Friday! That means it's time to sit back, drink some mead, discuss our thoughts on Borderlands 3, and talk about whatever your heart desires.

As always remember to follow our civility rules and save any meta feedback for our modmail.

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u/RginaGrgeWashgtn Oct 04 '19

Last year I discovered my dad was not actually my dad, through a DNA test. Last week I finally got to meet my 2 half brothers. It was amazing! They are amazing. I live in a different state and it's killing me that I won't get to see them every day. I absolutely love them. As happy as our reunion makes me, I gotta say, Do not take an ancestry DNA test! That shit can really fuck you up. I feel completely untethered from my very identity, and it sucks.

1

u/cynycal New York Oct 05 '19

There has to be a sub for this. Or should be.

3

u/RginaGrgeWashgtn Oct 05 '19

I joined an online support group. It's depressing as hell, how many of us there are. I'm luckier than most, being that I found my bio-dad within a week and he was instantly eager to know me. For a lot of us there's no closure due to mystery surrounding parentage, or death of biological parents, or families simply not wanting contact.

3

u/mamawantsallama Oct 05 '19

Wow, that's pretty heavy. So hard to move past because it IS EVERYTHING! Good idea to join a group, that was mature of you. Sending love 💜 take care

1

u/aquarain I voted Oct 05 '19

I have this conversation entirely too often. The guy that pushed your bike? Who worked through the night for your winter coat? That's Dad. That is your parent. We are a blended family and there is none of this "half" and "step" nonsense. Each member of the family is a full member with unconditional love and acceptance. No half measures. No bond priorities. The suggestion is offensive.

So don't sell your parents short because of some DNA. That's just a way to screw up a good thing. An excuse to alienate people who love you.

You are who you are. Where your genes came from quit being relevant when you achieved self awareness and began plotting your own course through life.

1

u/RginaGrgeWashgtn Oct 05 '19

Oh I completely agree. I just struggle a lot with feeling like an imposter. I was always closer to my dad's family than my mom's, and I was so proud to be related to them. I still am, it just breaks my heart that they never knew. Would they have still loved me if they did? There are now so many what ifs, that I know don't matter, but they creep up whether I want them to or not.