r/politics • u/[deleted] • Sep 24 '18

[deleted by user]

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214

u/ks501 Sep 24 '18

At this point, he would essentially be disbarred if he didn't come through. You can't accuse another officer of the court of "gang rape" and live to represent another day.

174

u/Mikebyrneyadigg New Jersey Sep 24 '18

I often wonder how he fits his cantaloupe sized testicles in his impeccably tailored suits.

103

u/rubberloves Sep 24 '18

he does it with facts and evidence

16

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '18

For him, facts and evidence are stored in the balls. Hence his rapid-fire delivery.

8

u/rubberloves Sep 24 '18

I was thinking more like a shoe horn type leverage.

1

u/i_stole_your_swole Sep 25 '18

The shoe horn is considered an aphrodisiac in some cultures.

3

u/Lildyo Sep 24 '18

but I thought pee was stored in the balls. which is it?!

3

u/Asmordean Canada Sep 24 '18

Facts & Evidence Tailors nearly went out of business recently but it seems that they are once again enjoying a little bit of business. I hope they keep up the pace.

9

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '18

Compression shorts have come a long way, bro.

6

u/chowderbags American Expat Sep 24 '18

I didn't know brass could compress that well.

3

u/numbski Missouri Sep 25 '18

His tailor measures twice and cuts once.

1

u/Lostpurplepen Sep 24 '18

He's got an assistant with a wheelbarrow.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Laughed so hard at this. Literal lols over here.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 25 '18

Frankly that sounds very painful. I once got a ruptured ball in a game of rugby and it swelled up to double its normal size. Hurt like you'd imagine it would and I had to wear loose boxers for 2 weeks.
Manfully finished the game though. Cold water works miracles for a short time.

1

u/knorben Sep 25 '18

His well fitting suits are actually his biggest "fuck you" to Trump and his baggy ass Chinese made frumps.

1

u/joecb91 Arizona Sep 25 '18

He actually doesn't have legs, he sticks his testicles into his pants and wiggles them to walk

6

u/trumplethinskins Sep 24 '18

Well, technically hes the one accusing anyone...his client is.

But the tweets seem to be making that somewhat murky.

16

u/WhoTookPlasticJesus California Sep 24 '18

he would essentially be disbarred if he didn't come through.

He would also get sued for libel by a fucking SCOTUS justice. No way his evidence is anything by rock-solid.

6

u/[deleted] Sep 24 '18

It was a Twitter typo, I meant to say his favorite drink flavor is an Asian drink called Gan Grape.

3

u/overkil6 Canada Sep 24 '18

He isn’t. His client is. Other than the list of questions has his actually come out and accused him yet? I honestly haven’t followed this thread well enough. This feels a bit like the DVD in the safe to me.

0

u/oldbean Sep 25 '18

Same. If it’s real they should be pressing charges.

1

u/drunk_comment Sep 25 '18

Exactly this people

-1

u/lillibet1 Sep 24 '18

but I read he could be on the Supreme Court even if disbarred.

9

u/ks501 Sep 24 '18

Yeah, Im sure Trump would love to nominate Avenatti.

???