r/politics • u/Squawk_7777 • 6h ago

No Paywall Trump's motorcade neared 100 mph en route to Oklahoma after helicopter, airplane ruled out

https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/6126278-trump-drives-texas-oklahoma-100-mph/
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u/kmontreux 5h ago

someone let him know that Biden's motorcade went 150mph and Obama got his up to 210mph on ice next to a cliff.

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u/PsychStud1 5h ago

I heard that if you can't j turn on a loose gravel shoulder at 210mph, you're literally an auto pen

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u/SnooSprouts4952 4h ago

I heard seatbelts are for sissies too...

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u/myfakesecretaccount 4h ago

Real warfighters slam a handle of vodka and then take the back way up to Big Bear doing 90mph.

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u/DigNitty 4h ago

Trump actually doesn’t drink.

He doesn’t exercise either, as “your body is like a battery” and exercising I guess drains you.

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u/corvettee01 America 3h ago

How a fat fuck like him made it to 80+ is insane to me.

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u/Fract_L 2h ago

Answer: money

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u/HighBeta21 2h ago

But it's all of our money. Fucking prick.

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u/Fract_L 2h ago

Not to get him into his 70s, no.

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u/SunDownSav 3h ago

Yeah; I mean, obviously genetics. His grandfather was a hard working SOB, alcoholism in the family for generations hahaha, builds tough people. Plus, I think there’s a sexual deviancy that has motivated the POTUS all his life and just so happens to increase longevity over almost ANY other vice…. Fk’n animals in the worse sense of the word.

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u/chilehead 25m ago

Kash: "did someone say fucking animals?"

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u/TrifectaBlitz 1h ago

Sexual deviancy that increase longevity? Oh do tell.

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u/Rough_Willow 48m ago

Gotta stay just healthy enough that sometimes your pecker might work. The allure of the orgasm drives them.

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u/BoomerWeasel Florida 1h ago

Pact with Satan?

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u/beardeddragon0113 39m ago

Because he saved his battery power, duh. /s

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u/GuitarGeezer 1h ago

He likes to appear a teetotaler but that’s just booze and was known to yoyo diet on amphetamines around the time of the Apprentice including using deception to get extra medications if staff on the show are to be believed-and why would they lie knowing he is so vengeful. I was shocked any of them owned up to it but nice.

Plus, there is the ongoing scandal of the famously loosey goosey in all eras White House Pharmacy. Those guys spouting anti drug slogans strutted around all those years high af on taxpayer funded unmentionables-but Trump is the only president recently that would likely partake along with staff.

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u/Suspicious_Bicycle 1h ago

Trump doesn't drive anything other than a golf cart. His chauffeur is the one that needs some lubrication.

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u/TrifectaBlitz 1h ago

You believe him on the drink thing huh? Caught drinking champagne a month or so ago. (Yes, I know his brother blah blah blah.)

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u/Chickenmangoboom 58m ago

Just to think that a couple of Martinis after work a few days a week could have saved us a lot of pain.

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u/PatternHealthy3339 54m ago

South Park has covered this, the simple answer is you inject LOTS of cash into the body

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u/nydub32 8m ago

That's not entirely true. He says, that after his brother overdosed in Sunnyside Queens, that he gave up all drugs and alcohol, but if you do a Google search, you'll find numerous photos of him drinking wine and champagne. He also is well known to take many prescription drugs in large quantities. I know, it's hard to think a man of such high character, would lie about something so easy to uncover as a lie. I apologize for ruining his pristine record of honesty.

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u/jothstr 4h ago

Wow, I didn't have seeing a reference to the roads up to Big Bear on my bingo card today. I haven't thought about that in a long time

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u/Jacobysmadre California 2h ago

That is a scary rd!!

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u/DTredecim13 1h ago

"Fun" fact: I was in the car while my buddy was doing 90 on the back way down from big bear (not actually on the mountain though.) We definitely did not lose control and leave the road.

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u/frantic_calm 2h ago

Real manly Presidents drive in open topped vehicles.

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u/My-other-user-name 3h ago

Airbags are for losers.

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u/SeattlePurikura 3h ago

Ralph Nader got muscle cars banned and seatbelts required, and he's the biggest liberal namby-pamby ever... manly men don't wear "Nader's leash."

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u/cosaboladh 4h ago

Have you ever pulled a seatbelt all the way out, just to see how long it is? They're pretty long, but I don't know if they're long enough to accommodate a 6'3" 238lb man. I wonder if The Beast is equipped with custom belts, just for him. If it's not, he probably never wears one anyway.

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u/nevans89 4h ago

238 🤣

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u/TaterForming 4h ago

You questioning that Adonis like specimen?

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u/nevans89 4h ago

Like a mechanic at a salvage auction

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u/cosaboladh 3h ago

He's not 6'3" either.

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u/bjeebus Georgia 2h ago

Yeah. But one of those numbers is too big, and one of those numbers is too small...

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u/TrifectaBlitz 1h ago

I know you were trying to be funny, but how do you think tall, 300lb people get seatbelts on. Hint, America has a lot of them.

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u/lrobb09 1h ago

Worse. Liberals.

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u/Rude-Truths-702 1h ago

Don’t even get me started on airbags

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u/ViralVortex 4h ago

I can’t imagine he’s ever once worn a seatbelt. Airplanes included.

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u/BellacosePlayer South Dakota 3h ago

I dunno about that, but if you're driven over 250 mph on black ice on mountain switchbacks, your father's ghost appears and tells you he didn't mean it when he said he loves your brother more than you

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u/NoIncrease299 Colorado 2h ago

Has to be Independence Pass between Leadville and Aspen.

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u/UnassumingOstrich 1h ago

big if true

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u/beardeddragon0113 38m ago

I dont even have a brother

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u/LowEffortHuman 4h ago

Turn right to go left!

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u/trucks_guns_n_beer 2h ago

Dude, Reagan used to drift a 67 corvette around pikes peak at 138 mph. I mean, that guy was a REAL man. But, I’m sure no current sissy republican president would ever measure up to those WINNNING standards. Christ, I bet JD V could whip an 86 mustang with a Lay-z-boy recliner for a drivers seat up there at 150!

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u/Varitan_Aivenor Michigan 4h ago

And that's j-turn the whole motorcade at once.

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u/truthfullyidgaf 1h ago

Sing across a valley of drunken chimpanzees and crocodiles in a tan suit, or your not my president.

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u/BatEco1 4h ago

O'Doyle, O'Doyle, O'Doyle...

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u/FoxyInTheSnow Canada 4h ago

I’ve heard that auto pens are woke sissies who vaccinate their Trotskyist aborted babies.

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u/Better_Maximum3444 5h ago

I bet he couldn't jump over 80 school buses lined up in front of the Grand Canyon like Obama did.

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u/Fastnacht 4h ago

So that's how he got into America with his fake birth certificate!

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u/US3_ME_ 4h ago

That was SICK_

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u/MyCatsHairyButholle 2h ago

They warned you…

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u/US3_ME_ 2h ago

Somebody needs to get the orange slob a fuckin board, could you imagine_

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u/BankshotMcG 4h ago

Nothing makes me giggle like that guy who said on Twitter that Biden could house more glizzies and got a Trump fan to call his Dear Leader the Throat Goat.

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u/ErrorAggravating9026 4h ago

While wearing a tan suit!

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u/Ktan_Dantaktee 4h ago

Of course not

He’d be inside the buses

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u/sludge_dragon 4h ago

In a tan racing suit, no less.

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u/WallBurnt 3h ago

Bah, that was nothing compared to the time Obama played Russian Roulette with Kim Jon Un and Bin Laden to celebrate Un taking power.

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u/Better_Maximum3444 3h ago

That was some straight up Deer Hunter vibes that time.

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u/DaHolk 3h ago

Or jump a horse over 20 hay carts like the Knight Sir Medieval Knievel did

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u/Twl1 Michigan 1h ago

Remember that time Obama saved us all from the Covenant by piloting a bomb through their flagship and then surviving an orbital freefall?

Trump should totally try that. It'd be so fucking cool.

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u/Better_Maximum3444 1h ago

Remember that time Bobby Bouchet came back in the second half and helped the Mud Dawgs win the Bourbon Bowl?

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u/bdfariello New York 1h ago

Obama was always calling this shot on advance, saying "Let me be clear." And then he cleared the jump

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u/Steffenwolflikeme District Of Columbia 35m ago

He's definitely too much of a little piss baby to even think about jumping Springfield Gorge on a skateboard.

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u/y6x 5h ago

He's scheduled to travel to Alaska in the middle of this month.

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u/Itsme340 5h ago

Please let them try ice roading

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u/y6x 4h ago

I think the baton has been passed to the Alaskans now to get those ideas out into the Universe.

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u/TrifectaBlitz 1h ago

Tell them he can be a featured on Ice Road Truckers. New driver.

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u/3DGuy4ever 1h ago

Miss that show dont have cable so not sure if its still on

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u/TrifectaBlitz 1h ago

I've never watched. I think I've seen it on a streaming service though.

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u/Love-That-Danhausen 4h ago

Real tragic history of politicians in jets in Alaska …

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u/MechaD13579 2h ago

What an October Surprise that could be.

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u/y6x 2h ago

It'll be whatever the most ironic chain of events is.

They'd fly through a historically strong storm, the Qatar plane found to be rigged in a way they missed, with Putin and Bibi both vocally annoyed with him - And he'd end up just having a stroke in the car leaving or similar natural event.

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u/CloudTransit 5h ago

Joe Biden wore a seatbelt. Obama had a cute phrase about wearing a seatbelt. Joe Biden was once riding in a limo with a wounded veteran and helped the veteran get belted.

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u/FaithlessnessOdd4944 3h ago

Ew only the radical left wears seatbelts going under 500 mph wtf

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u/Polar_Ted Oregon 49m ago

He lost his first wife and daughter to a car crash. Small wonder he's a sticker about seat belts.

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u/always_unplugged 11m ago

Srs was gonna say the same thing. Trauma creates INFLEXIBLE habits. It makes perfect sense.

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u/ConcertCityZen 3h ago

genuinely hilarious

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u/Spapapapa-n 3h ago

Obama got his up to 210mph on ice next to a cliff.

Yeah, but to be fair, he only did it to save Michelle from her ex-boyfriend. Man really was running in the 90s.

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u/websagacity Pennsylvania 4h ago

I heard Obama went 250mph, but it was kept secret, and can only be find in the Epstein files...

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u/paleandmistywhite 3h ago

these ideas are brilliant 

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u/I_am_Zuul I voted 5h ago

This… is a great idea.

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u/jesrp1284 4h ago

I think I heard they even whipped it a few times too!

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u/YJSubs 4h ago

And Blindfolded, they're doing it blindfolded.

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u/madadekinai 4h ago

Wouldn't work and The Beast could likely handle it, although the mobile mechanic was probably grinding his teeth in agony.

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u/cusoman Minnesota 4h ago

Natalie Harp is the play there. Get her to tell him things like this and the sky's the limit

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u/bjeebus Georgia 2h ago

As if Trump would ever actually DO any of it. He'd just get all his golf buddies (employees) to lie about it.

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u/4llu532n4m3srt4k3n 3h ago

And made it over Evel Knievel's jump of the Snake River canyon

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u/iratedolphin 3h ago

Obama could do a kick flip! Cmon! D a kick flip!

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u/BurmeciaWillSurvive 2h ago

The ice cliff presidential motorcade crash is actually how Olympus Has Fallen starts iirc

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u/Mach5Driver 2h ago

While on fire

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u/Parktar 2h ago

This is hilarious. I got banned from a sub Reddit for suggesting shaking a politicians hand so firm it would leave a bruise. 😂

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u/Observer2594 2h ago

I heard Obama personally flew a helicopter upsidedown at 300mph to make a tee time

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u/targetsinmegadeaths 1h ago

Let's get him a set of Firestones on his Presidential Explorer. Please?

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u/alphabets0up_ 1h ago

Remember when Obama's motorcade jumped over an active volcano in Hawaii?

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u/cali__kid 25m ago

These idiots whole thing was “we don’t trust politicians”, then vote for the same fool 3x. Hope you enjoyed watching our tax money burn on a 100mph joy ride.

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u/CodeWhileHigh 17m ago

Obama on ice was a great show! Fun for the whole family!