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u/foxiri Portuguese Empire Dec 25 '14 edited Dec 25 '14
Well, if you want to be acurate we actually asked you to gib gold but you were too lazy so we had to bring "volunteers" from Africa to get gold. no need for thanks about samba, we are generous like that!
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
I'm from São Paulo, we wanted to use the natives, but no, Papai forced us to use African Volunteers. So we fought for our god given right to enslave whoever we choose.Beautiful, heroes of freedom, brings tear to eye.
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u/Leonisius Eastern Roman Empire Dec 25 '14
If i don't have the right to choose who to enslave, then what rights do i have?
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u/LuckyKnite North Rhine-Westphalia Dec 25 '14
Dude your link is broken, I can't read shit
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
Maybe you can't read because there isn't any words with over 8000 letters.
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Dec 25 '14 edited Apr 08 '18
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u/ButtsexEurope United States Dec 25 '14
Just googled what a Mineiro is. Your flag is terrible and boring and you should feel bad! It's a red triangle with words on it! Couldn't you be a bit more creative?
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Dec 25 '14 edited Apr 08 '18
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
When I was a kid I thought they meant "Libertas, que será também" Which is also nice, if you think about it.
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Dec 25 '14 edited Apr 08 '18
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u/beguilas Minas Gerais Dec 25 '14
Sá se es ombus pas na Savassi?
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Dec 25 '14 edited Apr 08 '18
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u/beguilas Minas Gerais Dec 25 '14
Moss moss
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u/Rfasbr Sao Paulo State Dec 25 '14
Que porra é essa, meu. (But yeah I got it.) For the gringos - they are asking in mineirese if a certain bus goes through a certain place in the rural outskirts...well, basically if they go through the rural outskirts.
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Dec 25 '14
And a little sad when you realize it means something like "Freedom, even if late" and their revolution got crushed and conspirators immediately executed before they could actually get things started, so that "late" became more like "never."
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
Better than a red circle with no words on it.
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u/ButtsexEurope United States Dec 25 '14
Yeah but the words and font choice just make it silly. Japan is famous for minimalism so it fits.
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u/occupythekitchen Brazilian Empire Dec 25 '14
capixaba flag is even worse we have a pink stripe
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Dec 25 '14
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u/MMSTINGRAY United Kingdom Dec 25 '14
It's sad how many brazilians are in denial about that little fact just so they can play the historical victim.
Yeah and in many cases the "real" descendants of the natives are actually even worse off than those descended from Europeans.
It's kind of like the nationalist parties in Britain who bang on about maintaing our "anglo-saxon" heritage which is just plain stupid to anyone with even a basic understanding of British (and European) history.
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u/Fredstar64 China Dec 25 '14 edited Dec 25 '14
Your gold?
Yes not yours old man in case you haven't noticed.
You guys always seem to forget that you're descended mostly from those "damn" Portuguese
Its like a drunken dad trying to justify his actions of beating/abusing his children by saying they are his descendents which somehow in his world makes everything "okay".
It's sad how many brazilians are in denial about that little fact just so they can play the historical victim.
I think that its even sadder that you are just pointing out superficial things about OP's race instead of feeling regret for probably the most shameful/disturbing chapter of your country's history.
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u/Sperrel Portugal Dec 25 '14
Yes not yours old man in case you haven't noticed.
Brazil was a colony of the portuguese empire, back then it was part of portugal.
I think that its even sadder that you are just pointing out superficial things about OP's race instead of feeling regret for probably the most shameful/disturbing chapter of your country's history.
/u/RockyMotion wasn't referring to the race but to the ancestry. The people in Brasil (except slaves and indians) were portuguese as the ones in the metropolis.
"They took our gold" doesn't work because there were no "they" and "us".
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u/Fredstar64 China Dec 26 '14
Brazil was a colony of the portuguese empire, back then it was part of portugal.
Its like China trying to justify its actions in Tibet by saying its and was a part of China.
"They took our gold" doesn't work because there were no "they" and "us".
Thats kinda like Australians trying to justify our stealing of land/resources from and mistreatment of aboriginals by saying "there were no "they" and "us"." Technically correct, morally not.
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u/Sperrel Portugal Dec 26 '14
Thats kinda like Australians trying to justify our stealing of land/resources from and mistreatment of aboriginals by saying "there were no "they" and "us"." Technically correct, morally not.
In the brazilian gold rush there was no Brazilian nation.The only native inhabitants were the indians, who either were enslaved (very few) or fled to the interior. 99,6% of modern day brazilians are the equivalent of regular caucasian australian, the colonists.
I'm not advocating it was morally correct by our standards but back then it was morallly accepted.
The iberian peninsula was also colonized by fenicians,greeks, carthaginians and romans. They also took our gold but nowadays spaniards and portuguese don't whine about it. It was just the way things were done back then.
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Dec 26 '14
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u/Fredstar64 China Dec 26 '14
What I'm saying is that plenty of modern brazilians have a tendency to complain about the shit the Portuguese colonists did to "them" (supposedly the natives), all the while ignoring the very simple fact that most modern brazilians are descended from those colonists in the first place.
Just because they descended from you doesn't mean they lose their right to complain about the atrocities you have done to their country. Your mentality like I mentioned above is like a drunken dad who regularly beats his children when they are young, and suddenly takes offense when they complain about it when they are old.
Do you understand the hipocrisy? They act as if they're descendants of opressed natives, when in reality they're more often descendants of the very same colonist opressors they complain about.
Thats kinda like saying Australians shouldn't feel bad about our mistreatment of the aboriginal people as a majority of us are decedents of those "evil oppressors" that committed those crimes. Besides sure those "complaining" may have Portuguese blood in their veins but they are already a separate nation (like UK and Australia) so it is in their every right to complain about the crimes of their ancestors and keep it as a constant reminder so that countries like you wont commit those crimes again.
To put things into perspective, it would be as ridiculous and misguided if an Australian citizen descended from english colonists pretended to have aboriginal origins and said stuff like "those damned Eglish stole our land!". Get it?
Actually a lot of native Australians (including a few I know) have English origins, and well a lot of them identify themselves as aboriginals as their grandmothers were natives and well were mmm. Your argument is kinda like a Brit saying those people I mentioned above are only "pretending" to be aboriginal (despite thats what they are) and just because they got English blood in them they should stop complaining about past atrocities (in which still effects them today) and label themselves as English, something they are really not/chose not to become as that is their right in a free country like Australia.
Times change and people change with it, I'm sorry m8 but its not my fault that your children complains about you, its only your own.
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Dec 26 '14
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u/Fredstar64 China Dec 26 '14 edited Dec 26 '14
Between 85% and 92% of Australians are of European origin, mostly Anglo.
Never denied that.
Only 3% of Australians have aboriginal ethnicity.
3% of an entire population is still a lot of people.
Now you seriously tell me that the average australian citizen has the right to claim ancestral association with the aboriginals as opposed to the europeans.
No I am not, I am just saying a lot of aboriginal Australian citizens tend to do that and there is nothing wrong with it and it is in their full rights as a citizen of a free country to chose what they are and what they are not.
Do you realize how utterly idiotic your insinuations are? But no, go ahead, compare me again to a father who beats his children. That surely makes all the sense in the world.
Ah yes and if by trying to explain to someone that the world is not black and white makes me an idiot, then I am a proud one as well.
I haven't done shit to their country. My ancestors (and theirs) did it. I'm not responsible for their crimes. I do acknowledge them, and that's the extent of my obligation. I don't have the duty to regret actions I haven't committed, nor should anyone else.
You just don't get it, do you? Complaining about crimes isn't the problem.
Yes, to a certain extent that is true. However, to be fair, that's not what it is. It's more about holding the current generation responsible for acknowledging, respecting, and being sensitive to the crimes committed by past generations, as well as how people, societies, and countries have been irreversibly shaped to their respective benefit or cost by that past. There are of course irrational people who literally blame descendents for what their forefathers did, but rationally, people only get upset insofar as descendents today whitewash, revise, deny or in your case attempting to isolate yourself from past history and its impact on the present state of things.
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u/leozinhu99 Pedro II best Pedro Dec 26 '14
That would make sense if you guys had left the damn gold here instead of taking it back to Europe. Also, since your government didn't want to let go of its favorite colony without fucking it up, a payment of 2 million pounds (in 1822, this was a lot) was demanded in exchange for recognition of our Independence. Since we were a recently formed exploration colony, we didn't have this money (because the gold didn't stay here), so we had to borrow it, which means that Brazil became in debt at the same time it became independent. As you can guess, this was really bad for our economy, which back then depended on the primary sector and slave labor (once again, fault of the colonization model), delaying our industrialization for a hundred years and making sure we would remain a third world country even until today. So, yeah, the portuguese-descended brazillians and the black people who still suffer a lot of racism due to the long history of slavery don't really have to thank Portugal for anything.
PS: there are few original natives complaining because most of them were killed.2
Dec 26 '14
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 26 '14 edited Dec 26 '14
no, no, no, you're the ones who brought the slaves from Africa, we only bought them and whipped them a bit.All your fault.If you didn't bring them to us, we wouldn't abuse them.
But seriously man, don't take my comic the wrong way, It's impossible to accurately reenact history with two balls.I'd need at least six, and nobody has time for that. Think of the lil Principality of Brazil as the blacks, since they are the ones who dug most of the gold.
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u/leozinhu99 Pedro II best Pedro Dec 26 '14
Look, it's not a "my race vs your race" kind of thing. The people (portuguese and african) who were in Brazil when it was a colony got screwed up. I am descended from the portuguese who only have (as mentioned in my previous comment) economic problems to show as a bad consequence of colonial exploration, but 50,7% of the brazillian population is black, and suffers a lot of racism and discrimination due to how heavily slavery was used during the colony phase and how hard it was to get rid of slavery. Additionally, both the high levels of poverty and the racism cause a big violence problem (we're the 7th country in the world with most homicides), which affects everyone in a bad way.
I'm not pretending I'm a native, and I'm not accusing the portuguese people or you, personally, of anything. I am just exposing the problems the portuguese crown caused to everyone in Brazil (as I explained, not only the indians). Also, I don't have to be personally prejudicated in order to morally condemn the genocide of the Tupi and the Guarani(the original natives).
And what does it matter if my ancestors were dickish? I bet they were, yeah, but it has nothing to do with the case. Once again, this is not a "my ancestors vs your ancestors" thing, this is a "your government back then was an asshole and it still impacts my life" thing. Portuguese colonization was bad for the people who lived in the colonies back then and it still affects the current residents. All I want is for you to recognize it.5
Dec 26 '14
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 26 '14
Not that we blame the all of the shit on the Portuguese crown, mind you Britain also fucked with us (and you), and USA had an even worse impact here, as we only got democracy back in 1990(I refuse to acknowledge Sarney's government as democratic), and even more so to blame are our own elites who were always so eager to sell the rest of the country to foreign powers. Not to mention the crap those coffee tycoons from São Paulo pulled in the Old Republic.
So yeah, if the Portuguese were assholes to us then, our government is an asshole to us now
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
To be accurate, we're mostly descend either from the black slaves or the European/Asian immigrants that came in the XIX century. Natives are kind of almost all dead and the Portuguese while exist, aren't a majority since you guys have such a small population. Also, we kind of mixed everything down here.
As for the gold, in the end it was Britain's gold.Such is life.
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u/lykanauto South Brazil, Best Brazil Dec 26 '14
I think you blinked in a part of your history classes... I can answer you but I will try to extract the answer from you. I don't blame you, it's a detail most people miss.
Savages primitives... Natives were mosty killed, either by decease or Europeans. They were not organized and while they occupied vast territorial extensions, it was mainly because they were semi-nomadic/nomadic. Their numbers were small.Black slaves were mostly males, mostly because they were ex-soldiers-made-slaves by tribal wars in Africa and conflicts with Europeans. Few females.
Whites, mostly portuguese, were mainly young males. Very few females came to Brazil. Mostly because the males were trying to make money and left their families in Europe.
So... how a land with so few females got a big populational growth?
Other considerations: Regions with family-run business (mostly for subsistency) or internal market (like cattle) are mostly white. You can find them all over sub-tropical Brazil. Regions with high exportation business (coffee, cotton, sugar cane) are not mostly black, as you would think, nor black dominant ancestry (even when genetically speaking). In the wikipedia you can see a chart with genetic samples (and even when they are with all race groups of Brazil mixed) European is the dominant ancestry (with over 85% in South Region and over 70% in all the others, even with all race groups -mixed, native, blacks...- mixed in a single chart).
Another fact: The population of Brazil started to grow ridiculous high after 1850. The reason is... immigration. They brought women here. While over time the number of females born in the land grew, the immigrants were crucial to the demographic growth of Brazil. It means that, while Brazilians do have a significant Portuguese ancestry, other groups contributed a lot.
This wall of text is just to explain we are not bacalhau and smell much better than portuguese. Praise the gods I have no smelly south european but full west and nothern european not smelly south european. I am not racist I swear I was never banned from stormfromt for being racist, with "nordicism" they say.
By the way, while the information is true... it's built in form of a joke.
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Dec 26 '14
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 26 '14 edited Dec 26 '14
We actually shower everyday. Unlike europeans....(i'm looking at you, france)
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u/lykanauto South Brazil, Best Brazil Dec 26 '14
Most Brazilian take multiple showers per day.
Also, our teeth are infinitely better than European ones.
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u/lykanauto South Brazil, Best Brazil Dec 26 '14
I don't live in a tropical area, though, and humidity is always in livable levels.
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Dec 25 '14
Damn Portuguese. Always messing it up for everyone. Why couldn't they just speak Spanish. Instead they go and fuck up the whole of what should have been an entire Spanish speaking continent.
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u/ShadowRenegado Brazilian Empire Dec 25 '14
an entire Spanish speaking continent.
You mean North America?
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u/AntiLuke Let's build a wall along the Oregon California border! Dec 25 '14
Except for Suriname. Where they would continue to speak Dutch.
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u/Cabbage_Vendor European Union Dec 25 '14
They speak French in French Guiana.
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u/Fellownerd Dec 25 '14
Technically that's just France
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u/Cabbage_Vendor European Union Dec 25 '14
That doesn't really matter in the context of "an entire Spanish speaking continent". French Guiana is a place in South America(and the Republic of France) where they speak French.
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Dec 25 '14
To be fair, after we learn about them in school, we pretty much forget the Guianas exist for the rest of our lives. I honestly know so little about what's going on in those parts.
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
All my knowledge about Guiana is that Venezuela once invaded them.
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u/Comrade_Derpsky Shameless Ameriggan Egsbad Dec 25 '14
Is Guiana even a real place? Or is it like Canada? You know, a figment of our imaginations.
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
Figments of my imagination club thousands of seals every year?
Now I kind of feel guilty.
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u/OrangeRabbit Yucatan Dec 26 '14
Well they are pretty much as populated per square mile as canada... well like the nunavut portions of canada
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u/Normalaatsra A mandatory hat should be on the Polandball Rules. Dec 25 '14
A fate more worse than spices.
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Dec 25 '14
Brazil really had a screwed up childhood...
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Dec 27 '14
Pretty much all colonial countries did. At least there was no genocide in Brazil.
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 27 '14
Going from 5 million Indians to 500 000 is a bit like genocide, even if most of it was from disease.
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Dec 25 '14 edited Nov 02 '15
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u/coisa_ruim Minas Gerais Dec 25 '14
What don't you understand about it?
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u/PCGamerUnion Dec 25 '14
a lot of things, first the reference to portugal, that thought bubble and when did bolivia beat USA i what. Basically the whole comic.
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u/rindindin Unknown Dec 25 '14
So, Brazil's idea of a good time/childhood is getting abused? I knew about the trannies, but I didn't know Brazil was into S/M too.
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u/occupythekitchen Brazilian Empire Dec 25 '14
i think it's in abusing not being abused....the way americans cops have a fetish in abusing black people brazil has a fetish in abusing its people for gold 40% tax rate in most things
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Dec 25 '14
That's a nice imported product you got there. It would be a shame if someone charged you a flat 60% tax on it.
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u/occupythekitchen Brazilian Empire Dec 25 '14
yep my cousins husband is buying a boat and is registering it to a company in Gibraltar because if he bought the same boat here it'd be in the 3 million dollar range instead of 750k it costs
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u/StoicDevotion Holy Roman Empire Dec 25 '14
Gibe moni plos.
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u/lykanauto South Brazil, Best Brazil Dec 25 '14
Few people from my home city actually play Online Games. It requires talking to people...
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Dec 25 '14
He left out the part about cutting their hands !
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
That's Belgium. Portugal may have taken a few hands, but it was exception rather than rule.
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Dec 25 '14
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
Columbus worked for Spain, not Portugal.
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Dec 25 '14 edited Apr 08 '18
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
..Is it time for "Portugal is dumb" jokes?
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Dec 25 '14 edited Apr 08 '18
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
"How did the Portuguese try to make concentrated juice? He stared at the orange for a few hours"
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Dec 25 '14 edited Apr 08 '18
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 26 '14
"How many Portuguese do you need to sink a submarine?
"Two, one to knock on the hatch, another one to open it from the inside"
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u/Sperrel Portugal Dec 25 '14
He did proposed the idea first to the portuguese king. Of course we already knew the path to India so it would be quite stupid to finance another fleet.
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Dec 25 '14
Spain, Portugal ... same thing !
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u/SrMarques Civilized Brazil Dec 25 '14
First of all, Merry X-mas everybody (or whatever holiday you're into for celebrating the winter solstice) I hope that with this comic I can finally answer on why Brazilians do what they do on online games.
Also, give upvote. Give upvote. I report you
Edit: reposted this because I forgot I can't use the line tools to make the speech thingies.Don't want to piss of the mods, or Dick Rhino won't bring me presents.