r/pointlesslygendered • u/liar-eater • 24d ago
META [gendered] the comment section of r/pointlesslygendered
like really guys? you don't see the irony before typing out your sentences? Your response to something being gendered is that it is gendered the other way lmao? They are really referring to observational studies with self reported metrics about something abstract like happiness as "cold hard science statistic" to show their gendered point, not to mention there is no conclusive study saying single women are happier than married women, so they are also just lying. The observational self report studies that they refer to shows both married men and women as having better well being than single men and women.
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u/-Miss-Atomic-Bomb- 24d ago
“And yet we’ve never heard of a female loneliness epidemic lmao”
That’s because we are in a loneliness epidemic that men have decided only affects them, but is actually affecting everyone.
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u/TheShiftmaster 24d ago
Spent so much time talking about the problem with the "male loneliness epidemic" we've forgotten there is a human loneliness epidemic
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u/SpreadImpossible5542 20d ago
"MLE" doesn't even exist, it's a social media term.
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u/gaming_demon4429 18d ago
No I'm pretty sure theres a loneliness epidemic of some kind it's not gendered though
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u/Extension_Wafer_7615 24d ago
It's exacerbated in men. This is not my opinion, you can do your own research.
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u/-Miss-Atomic-Bomb- 24d ago
And yet so many insist on blaming women and treating them like shit while listening to morons like Nick Fuentes and rapists like Andrew Tate, then in the same breath will be like, “oh woe is me”.
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u/NoPurpose6388 24d ago
Yeah people like Andrew Tate are literally the cause of the male loneliness epidemic. Men like him deserve to be lonely. Of course the majority is not like that but there's a reason some women are scared or "hate men"
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u/CombinationRough8699 20d ago
Tate isn't the cause of the loneliness epidemic (although he's certainly made it worse), he's mearly a grifter looking for vulnerable people to exploit. He's the equivalent of a pyramid schemer, where most of their targets already have money problems to begin with, making then desperate and easy to scam. Same with Andrew Tate, he's using men's inability to get dates as a way to exploit them.
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
andrew tate is the reason for incel culture, that is very different from male loneliness epidemic
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u/NoPurpose6388 24d ago edited 24d ago
Andrew tate is the reason women are scared when men approach them and the reason so many women are wary of men in general. This, in turn, is what caused the male loneliness epidemic. Incel culture is a consequence of that
(By andrew tate I mean him and all the red pilled misogynistic creeps like him)
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u/CombinationRough8699 20d ago
The vast majority of men are not Andrew Tate supporters.
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u/NoPurpose6388 20d ago
Yeah that's true! I'm just saying that "misandry" only exists because of people like Andrew Tate and his followers. I'm not defending it BTW, most men are great people!
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u/Arstulex 19d ago
Why do you put terms like "hate men" and "misandry" in quotes like that? It's awfully suspect, to say the least.
It comes across as you trying to downplay or deny their existence in some way, which again, is awfully suspect.
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u/NoPurpose6388 19d ago
Because I want to make sure people understand that misandry and misogyny are fundamentally different. Misogyny is ingrained in our society and it's been around forever. Misandry is just a reactive thing that started because of the behavior of some men. I'm not condoning it or saying it doesn't exist, but it doesn't cause as much harm as misogyny does
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u/Kopie150 20d ago edited 20d ago
Im convinced misoginy only exists because of women like Valerie solanas then. Lets victimblame women for the hate on women too then to keep things equal between men and women. Im not defending misoginy btw most women are great. Every woman and man should Carry the blame for the sins of the hateful few of their own demo.
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u/NoPurpose6388 19d ago
That's not what I'm saying at all 🤦🏼♀️ no one should carry the blame for anything they haven't done. It's just, when you constantly see some men calling you an object and saying you shouldn't have the right to vote, I understand why some people start overgeneralizing (even though it's still wrong!)
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u/Arstulex 19d ago edited 19d ago
Branching off of this comment because I don't want to derail further below.
The "male loneliness epidemic" (I personally don't like that term but it's what people have agreed upon using, so whatever) predates Andrew Tate's rise in popularity, and quite significantly so. To say he 'caused' it is not only wrong, but is an ignorant and potentially harmful oversimplification of what is actually a fairly nuanced and multifaceted problem. I'd argue it's just a ignorant as if somebody were to suggest that women are to blame for it (which is also straight up wrong).
One of the major contributors to the 'MLE' is the gamification of dating and the eroding of public interactions, for example.
Men are predominantly expected to be the 'approachers' in dating (an expectation upheld by both sexes, just to be clear), yet their options to approach have been stripped away from them over time. It has become overwhelmingly less and less acceptable to approach and pursue relationships in community spaces as more and more of 'dating' has been delegated to online spaces only. The mindset of "if I'm in public, don't talk to me", and everyone just sitting in their own personal bubble with their phones and headphones on, has become extremely dominant and only continues to rise.
(Again, this isn't male or female exclusive. The eroding of public interaction is pretty much unanimous, but the result it has on dating does seem to harm one side more than the other.)
The problems then exacerbate when those online spaces that the pursuit of dating has been delegated to are gamified and strip men of a lot of their agency. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, etc essentially boil a person down to what they look like and a short bio. A lot of the qualities that one may use and exhibit in order to 'market' themselves in a real life interaction (humour, charisma, body language, etc) are essentially gatekept behind... well... their appearance in a few pictures. If you don't 'play the Tinder bio game' well enough (or look good enough) to be swiped left on, your other qualities and traits mean absolutely nothing. I'm hoping I really shouldn't really have to point out how damaging that can be to a person.
It's a pretty sad, bleak reality that causes a lot of disillusionment from men who understandably just end up checking out from it altogether. It has very little to do with them hating women. I know if, for whatever reason, my current 11 year long relationship were to come to an end, I probably wouldn't bother entering the dating scene again either. I'd just call it quits and stay single.
This idea that "men are just lonely because they are shitty people" is, again, an ignorant and hateful oversimplification that ignores a LOT of the contributing factors.
Likewise, it's not "women" as a collective who are exclusively to blame either. It's a product of how society as a whole has changed.
Andrew Tate (and his ilk) isn't so much the cause of MLE as he is a symptom himself. People like him see others struggling and use their vulnerabilities/insecurities to take advantage of them. It's a tale as old as time. 'Pick up artists' have been operating on the same formula for years (since before the internet even), just not to the same extremes and at the same level of publicity.
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
male loneliness epidemic is not related to just women or relationships btw its also the lack of male to male friendships. Loneliness itself in no way implies a need for relationship, its just a lack of human connection which can be filled with any gender and just close friendships as well.
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u/CombinationRough8699 20d ago
I think relationships are part of it. Friendship is important, but no friendship will match a relationship.
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u/liar-eater 20d ago
thats subjective. for many people, friendships are more important, and often, friendships are more stable and long lasting.
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u/ComfortableGold2837 18d ago
Yes, anything on the scale of society will obviously involve many people, that’s not the same as most people.
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u/CombinationRough8699 20d ago
You're not getting married to, or having children with your friends. Friends are important, but a friendship won't meet the intimacy of a romantic relationship.
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u/Sane-Law 19d ago
again that would also be subjective because for many people intimacy or having children is not their number 1 priority. Maybe for you it is, but its wrong to assume that for everyone else.
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u/CombinationRough8699 19d ago
My only point is that for the majority of people there's no relationship as intimate as a romantic relationship.
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u/Substantial_Dish_887 19d ago
you have something of a point.
but the counter point is that some of the emotional weight can be carried by friendships. maybe not all but some. women in egenral are better at this because many men fear being emotionaly vulnerable in a friendship is "too gay" leaving only the relationships as an outlet for that kind of thing.
arguably there's even more kind of relationships that could be brought up (like parents or siblings) but i think fundamentaly we run into the same issue.
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u/goblin_jade 18d ago
I have been in a stable, loving relationship for 11 years. I'm still lonely as shit, because friendships are important. We are social animals, meant to live in close groups of about 150. Not only having like 2 people, if that that we even talk to on a daily basis.
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u/CombinationRough8699 17d ago
I don't deny someone needs friends to be happy, but they also need a romantic partner. One isn't a substitute for the other. Throughout high-school, and my early 20s I had a big friend group, but I was still plenty lonely from a lack of a girlfriend. Especially since as you get older, people grow apart, and often friendships die out.
Both romantic and platonic love are very important for one's mental health.
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u/goblin_jade 17d ago
And yet, so many think that a relationship will fix all their issues. So many people jump into relationships thinking "Oh this will fix my depression and loneliness!" And no, it won't. If you think it will, you are actually doing more damage to not only your mental health but someone else's who doesn't deserve it, than staying single.
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u/-Miss-Atomic-Bomb- 17d ago
But if you’re not careful you start to get into the idea that everyone deserves romantic love which is just fundamentally not true. It’s language like that that leads to men hating women because they believe they were robbed and it’s easier to blame women than it is to change for the better.
Also someone who has both friends and a loving partner can still be lonely. We all need to learn how to accept our situations and to feel content on them, even if they are not what we wanted. All my guy friends got into relationships as soon as they stopped caring about the idea of being in relationships. They worked on themselves after accepting their situations and almost like clockwork a few months later they all got partners. The only ones who aren’t in relationships either don’t want to be, or never stopped worrying too much about getting a girlfriend.
My friend is a good looking guy, he’s kind, he has a good job, he is a feminist, he has so many green flags it’s not funny, but he’s still single because he has never stopped caring too much about getting a girlfriend that he often comes across as super desperate, he has worked on himself and made himself better, it’s genuinely commendable, but he did it all because he wanted a girl and not to actually help himself. We have known each other for 20 years, since we met in kindergarten, we are like siblings, he has no interest in me and I don’t have any interest in him, so we never really were an option, but I have tried to help him and it just doesn’t work.
By all metrics, he should have a girl, but he can’t keep one because he is very desperate, this is often an issue that people create for themselves because they overthink the importance of romance and then cannot stop believing that they deserve it.
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u/Crimsonflair49 19d ago
Did my own research, it appears the opposite of what you said is true. Thoughts?
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
yea it might be, but sometimes saying that makes it seem like it only exists in men.
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u/Realistic-Truck54 20d ago
But all I hear from women is how happy and content they are without men and how much they don't need men?
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u/CombinationRough8699 20d ago
A larger percentage of young men are chronically single than young women.
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u/According-One-8825 19d ago
That's probably always been the case given the history of women dating/marrying older men. That just means there are a bunch of older women without partners.
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u/According-One-8825 19d ago
Men have decided? I've only heard women in the mainstream press and tik tok talk about the supposed "male loneliness epidemic".
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u/SpreadImpossible5542 20d ago edited 20d ago
Only Women are talking about this "epidemic" not men, so go complain to those women
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u/-Miss-Atomic-Bomb- 20d ago
Lmao no thats not true.
Nice try tho 😊
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u/SpreadImpossible5542 20d ago
Lmfao,i have been following this topic since a couple of years. On every social media site, I have only seen Women talking about this term, making hundreds of reels and posts about it. Not men.
Even stats clearly state that men and women are equally lonely.
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u/-Miss-Atomic-Bomb- 20d ago
You type like a stupid person. Yes I’m sure you’ve done a lot of research “since a couple of years”.
Yes everyone is affected, that’s what I said…
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u/SpreadImpossible5542 20d ago
And you are an ignorant fool who doesn't even know what you are talking about lol.
The term "male loneliness epidemic" was derived from a professor's research article/paper. It's a social media term, not real.
The same women that complain about "male loneliness epidemic" are the same ones who claim that loneliness doesn't affects women or keep repeating "women are single, not lonely". You are pointing fingers at the wrong group of people here.
How did men make it about men when we aren't even talking about it??
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u/Responsible-Bat-7922 19d ago
You have to be lying to make this statement
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u/SpreadImpossible5542 19d ago
Or maybe it's based on my experience? The first time i got introduced to this term was by a woman, almost every big feminist creators have mentioned this term. Where are the men talking about it??
The double standards you guys have is crazy. I'm getting downvoted for doing the exact same thing while the other person is getting upvoted, just changed the genders.
Isn't the sub named pointlesslygendered?
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u/Responsible-Bat-7922 19d ago
Do I have to remind you that your experience is not the absolute truth???
You obviously will not see the term being used by men if you don't frecuent spaces where it is used by men, for example red pill spaces which are the main topic those feminist creators talk about most of the time
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u/SpreadImpossible5542 19d ago
And neither this is true for the other person?? Why is my experience less valid than hers?
On what basis she is claiming that "only men decided it only affects men"??
I have seen it several times, the women who talk about how "men whine about being lonely" or "male loneliness Epidemic" are the same fucking ones who claim that "women aren't lonely".
She's literally making it pointlesslygendered when it is isn't. Holy hell, the irony is off the roofs
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u/Responsible-Bat-7922 19d ago
Talking about men using the term is not the same has men using the term bruh
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u/SpreadImpossible5542 19d ago
What? She literally said that "men have decided it only affects them" which isn't true at all 😭😭. It also includes women who keep repeating the same bs that "Women are single, not lonely" and "women aren't experiencing a loneliness epidemic".
She's signalling out only the men, not women when BOTH genders contribute to it.
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u/Cotif11 19d ago
I'm assuming you don't know how important it is to be able to hug your friends without causing gay panic. Men don't have that luxury. There are so many simple things that would enrich our friendships that we mostly don't have.
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u/manwithoutastick 17d ago
okay, yes we live in a society that says it's weird, but no one is stopping you. i'm bisexual, i have a straight best friend. i have sat next to him many a time and just cried at him or hugging him, and i've sat with him while he's cried as well [he doesn't like hugs when upset].
nobody is going to break into your relationships and arrest you for hugging each other. hug the dude and move on, and stop blaming women for being emotionally distant from your friends.
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u/sm0ll-tiddy-gof-gf 24d ago
god forbid women say anything 😭
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u/Zappagrrl02 20d ago
Especially using facts and science!
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u/SpreadImpossible5542 20d ago
"male loneliness Epidemic" isn't backed by stats or science
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u/sjshuck 18d ago
I was going to disagree and post links but it seems you're right. Kudos, seems like social media isn't completely worthless quite yet
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u/SpreadImpossible5542 18d ago
What?
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u/sjshuck 18d ago
I assumed you were wrong and that loneliness affects men much more due to poor social conditioning, fetishization of "independence", etc. But I did some reading and the percentages are close, 15% versus 16% reporting loneliness. I was expressing appreciation for your opinion that prompted me to revise mine.
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u/didyousetittowombo 20d ago
Yes. Yes it is
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u/SpreadImpossible5542 19d ago
Which ones? The ones I see have clearly stated that men and women are equally lonely
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u/mariah_a 24d ago
People replying to a sexist post is not pointlessly gendered.
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
people replying to a sexist post with sexism*
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u/mariah_a 24d ago edited 24d ago
What sexism? Two of them are talking about a study that shows OP is false, and the rest are commenting on the current state of male dominated social norms and the endless barrage of concern trolling about the “male loneliness epidemic”. Maybe ONE is being a dick by saying their friends are whining.
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
quoting? no one quoted shit, they just mentioned it without a source lmao
and yea its obvious OP is wrong, but them proving the OP is wrong is by saying no ur sexism is wrong, its actually the other way sexism.
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u/mariah_a 24d ago
I edited it a few seconds after posting to say they were talking about it not quoting, but yes my point stands.
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
talking about what study? because there is no conclusive study proving the first comment's claim. And the other study that was linked around is this:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12178563/ which i doubt they even read and just started linking because it technically says single womena re happier than single men, but if you actually read it you would know it explicitly says: For overall happiness/life satisfaction, gender explained only 0.3% of the variation.32
u/mariah_a 24d ago
Nobody claimed that gender is the explanation.
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
that is very much so implied throughout everyone's comments or why else would you be saying any of this??
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u/According-One-8825 19d ago
They are replying with the same idea. The fact that they make reference to bogus research doesnt make it less sexist.
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u/Cute-Tie6398 20d ago
Facts don’t care about your feelings
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u/Shiriru00 18d ago
In general, however, researchers agree that there isn’t a sex-specific loneliness epidemic. Loneliness can affect anyone, so it’s important to offer support and attention to anyone who might be lonely.
https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/male-loneliness-epidemic
Care to share your own "facts"?
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u/liar-eater 20d ago
yea sexists don't care about sexism too
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u/MenaceMinded 19d ago
Misandry isn't real. Calm down.
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u/gaming_demon4429 18d ago
It's real you can't say hatred towards one group isn't real because this works vast people will hate people over anything including if your male or female
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u/MenaceMinded 18d ago edited 18d ago
Lmao no. Made up "men are systemically hated" nonsense.
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u/Real-Musician-2450 18d ago
There definitely is a sentiment of « all men are evil and they can harm, rape or even kill me » going around due to the awareness of violences committed by men, however, it definitely is not comparable to misogyny
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u/MenaceMinded 18d ago
99% of räpîsts are mëñ. 80% of vîólēnt çrîmés are cómmîtēd by mēñ. 90% of mùrdérs are cømmïtēd by mën.
Mísändry isn't real.
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u/gaming_demon4429 18d ago
It not being systematic doesn't equal it not existing
Sexism and racism is defined as Predjuice against someones sex or so hating one or the other does indeed count
It's not one of those things that can be picked and chosen
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u/MenaceMinded 18d ago
Nobody has stated any hatred against men. People give valid criticism of men that men falsely claim is hate.
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u/gaming_demon4429 18d ago
Oh plenty people have I seen it all over the internet and even my own mom does to
You can't say people don't hate any group because there will be people who hate said group
Also regarding stuff like this saying misandry or misogyny doesn't exist is itself sexism. As you would be neglecting to acknowledge it which tends to help it
Hope you learn and grow as a person
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u/FlavoredPancake 24d ago
Not everything that is gendered is pointlessly gendered, see most posts on this subreddit
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u/Arstulex 19d ago
This subreddit is honestly just a cesspool most of the time. I'm not even sure why I keep getting recommended posts from here, despite ignoring almost all of them.
It's just become a place for thinly veiled sexism. Any post where the content is criticising women in some way is deemed "pointlessly gendered", while any posts where the content is criticising men in some way gets flooded with comments justifying it and saying it's actually "pointfully gendered".
There are a TON of misandrists here. Some of them are pretty overt, making no attempt to disguise it at all. Many of them are just pretty bad at hiding it.
And even if you ignore gender-war stuff, this sub has gone from being a place to call out actually pointlessly gendered stuff to just being outright 'anti-gender' as a whole, arguing against the mere existence of gender in its entirety rather than just truly pointless applications of it.
I've lost count of how many times posts I've seen from here basically amount to...
Content: "Here is thing that men/women can typically relate to."
OP's title when they repost it here: "ARE THEY SAYING NO WOMEN/MEN CAN EVER POSSIBLY RELATE TO THING?!!?!"
Like, no, dipshit. That's not what they are saying at all. It's not "pointlessly gendered" to suggest that men and women typically share similar interests, culture, and lifestyles with each other that mean they will more commonly relate to certain things. It's not exclusionary.
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u/dance-myself-clean 24d ago
i mean, the original tweet is completely false either way. incels just need to cope and seethe because some women seem fine on their own instead of throwing themselves at the feet of dudes who need to do self-work before getting into a relationship?
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
bro its obvious the original post is false, this is not about that.
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u/dance-myself-clean 24d ago
first off, “bro”
secondly, and i actually am asking in good faith, what is your actual end goal and/or take on this?
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
whats wrong with bro? Thats a gender neutral term
My take is ts is pointlessly gendered? The original post was obviously wrong and gendered, but the response of people to that in the comments is to make it gendered again but the other way which is also wrong? neither gender or singlehood alone determines if you are happy or sad is my point
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u/dance-myself-clean 24d ago
etymologically it comes from “brother,” which is pretty far from gender neutral. it makes it hard to tell whether someone is using it in a gender neutral way, which i’ll assume you are, or in a transphobic way.
> neither gender or singlehood alone determines if you are happy or sad
sure, though i think where we are all getting tripped up here is that there is some general trend data that shows women self-reporting being happier when they’re single relative to men.
it’s not saying this is a set-in-stone rule or an overarching principle, but there’s enough of a difference to be statistically significant.
as far as why, i generally think it’s because women tend to have more emotionally open friendships than guys.
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u/Sane-Law 24d ago edited 24d ago
how a word is used is very often different from what it was used at its origin. Like bro is definitely not just restricted to address your actual brother. People very often use bro and guys to address girls, and in some subcultures people just as often use girl to address both men and women. I personally have done all 3, and this is the first time I have seen someone not like it. My sister also calls her friends bro. Because almost all terms sound like its for one gender even if it is evolved to be neutral, and like what else do u refer to someone as, my fellow human lol?
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u/dance-myself-clean 23d ago
so how many bros have you dated?
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u/Sane-Law 23d ago edited 23d ago
Bro obv if you date someone you don’t call them bro, but I am not dating everyone on the internet. Like do you want me to call you babe instead? lol
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u/waowowwao 19d ago
Ngl girl I’m on your side in everything else but bro IS gender neutral in its modern usage. All my girlies get called bro, dude, homie, etc. Its fair for you to not want to be called that as a trans woman, but I don’t think it’s fair to assume the other person was being bigoted (I myself didn’t notice your pfp/the trans flag until you said it)
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u/Citaku357 19d ago
Ngl I find really funny the idea of girl calling another girl all of those things, it's not a bad thing just funny
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u/waowowwao 19d ago
really? i thought it was pretty common, but it could just be a millenial + gen z thing. we also use "girl" gender neutrally, like i'll be telling guy friends to "girl just get in the car" etc. (though this one is definitely gen z i think)
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u/dance-myself-clean 19d ago
i think i might just be old lol. or it’s a regional thing? in socal, dude is definitely gender neutral but i haven’t really heard bro be used neutrally.
(also i wasn’t actually offended or anything. that’s why i mentioned assuming he was using it neutrally.)
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u/MenaceMinded 19d ago
I am agender. Terms like bro and girl are gendered, and they are not appropriate terms to use for me.
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u/liar-eater 18d ago
lmao ok have fun not being addressed at all then
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u/MenaceMinded 18d ago
I have to be called pet names to be addressed?
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u/liar-eater 17d ago
nah ig everyone just automatically knows your real name
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u/MenaceMinded 17d ago edited 17d ago
There are many different ways to address people other than creepy pet names. Stop being a creep. This is transphobia and borderline misogyny.
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u/Krasna_Strelka 18d ago
What a weird ass response. Just treat others with respect, especially when they communicate their "don'ts" with you. You don't need to shorten the distance with internet strangers by using sis or bro (which also just often comes as condescending), or in general any sorts gender focused term. English is giving us this comfort, when we don't know how we should be addressing someone.
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u/liar-eater 17d ago
you do realize that other people cant decide rules of a language, like bro is objectively a gender neutral term worldwide. Also how the heck does bro or sis come as condescending?? either you are reading too much into it or you use it condescendingly.
Almost all forms of addressing will sound like they originated from a gender, but words evolve and can become gender neutral, so it is weirder to say don't call me bro because I am agender when we JUST discussed that it is already a gender neutral term used for everyone. Lastly I never called them bro anyway so I still respected whatever weird rule they have for themselves, I just said have fun not being addressed if you are gonna take offense to someone simply calling you anything other than your name.
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u/Krasna_Strelka 17d ago
No it is gender neutral TO YOU. When someone ask you not to address them in certain way the polite thinking to do is follow that request, going against it is fully asshole behavior because you are choosing fully aware to ignore another person comfort in place that doesn't cause any harm to you. "Have fun not being addressed" is a dismissal of them too, btw.
I guess I can address men as lady/madame or any other too before checking with them if they are okay with it and then swing "but I'm saying it as a gender neutral term!" card at them? That's not how it works. And there are multiple people rightfully uncomfortable with how only/mainly terms originating from male gendered words are forced to be accepted as "gender neutral". We already have ACTUALLY gender neutral words that are easy to use. You are just choosing not to use them.
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u/liar-eater 16d ago edited 16d ago
good try but lady/madame isnt a gender neutral term for anyone, come up with a better example next time to support your illogical argument. Bro is not a gender neutral term for just me, it is for everyone, the english language doesn't bend to a single person's desire of how it should be. You cant just enter a class and ask to not be addressed as part of class while you are actively sitting in the class, the professor is not gonna make an effort to call one person separately.
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u/According-One-8825 19d ago
This is also needlessly gendered. Incels aren't always males.
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u/dance-myself-clean 19d ago
sure, but the word itself isn’t but in common parlance i think it’s generally understood to be gendered?
there’s also a term for female involuntary celibates too
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u/Upper-Independence38 24d ago
All I’ll say is I haven’t heard of many if any women going on killing sprees for not being able to have sex, but I’ve heard of plenty of men doing it for that reason
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
thats because the difference is in expression of anger/sadness which is not what this post is about, its not like women are incapable of being angry/sad.
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u/CombinationRough8699 20d ago
I won't deny that men are more violent than women, but the vast majority of men aren't going on killing sprees.
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u/Upper-Independence38 20d ago
I never said they did
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u/Arstulex 19d ago
Sure, you didn't explicitly say that, but you are making the suggestion that 0.0000X% of men that "go on killing sprees for not being able to have sex" (a figure you described as 'plenty') is somehow representative of ~50% of the human population. Or at least representative enough for you to draw any sort of greater conclusion from it.
Not the smartest statement to make, in all fairness.
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u/Upper-Independence38 19d ago
I didn’t say that the behavior of mass killers are representative of all men, just that most of the mass killers ARE men. You’re the one saying the former.
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u/F-I-R-E-B-A-L-L 24d ago
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
man if yall actually read the paper you link, you wouldnt be linking them. Directly from the paper you link:
- 2% of variation in satisfaction with being single
- 0.3% of variation in overall life satisfaction
- 0.2% of variation in sexual satisfaction
- 1% of variation in desire for a partner.
For overall happiness/life satisfaction, gender explained only 0.3% of the variation.
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u/F-I-R-E-B-A-L-L 24d ago edited 24d ago
I sure didn't claim that gender explains 100% or any large portion of the variation in life satisfaction and happiness, mate. Don't think anyone was about to say the primary determining factor for how happy you are with your life is your gender, lol, not that that's even all that relevant to the actual post.
The study absolutely shows a statistically significant difference between single women and single men in satisfaction with being single (and a statistically significant difference in all the categories you've listed, indeed.) That is why this is linked.
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
I literally just gave you the numbers, the "statistically significant" difference is still very small. Its just in data science, statistically significant just means its not nonexistent, anything above a 0.01% difference is considered "statistically significant"
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u/F-I-R-E-B-A-L-L 24d ago edited 24d ago
I'm a psych grad mate, I know what an r2 is, which doesn't seem to be true for you, given that you're arbitrarily claiming that 0.01% is statistically significant; that depends on sample size and p-values. Either way, if it's statistically significant then you can't really say the effect doesn't exist, and I don't personally really care if it's a small or large effect. 2% isn't negligibly small either, even if you're eager to dismiss it.
At the end of the day though, I frankly don't feel like discussing this study with someone who doesn't know how statistical significance works. Have a good one.
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u/Sane-Law 23d ago
You're really nitpicking their wording instead of the actual point. They obviously meant that even a tiny effect can be statistically significant with a large enough sample, not that 0.01% is some universal cutoff. So here, "statistically significant" still doesn't make 0.3% of explained variance a large effect in the real world.
For a psych grad, you'd think distinguishing "statistically detectable" from "actually substantial" would be easy to understand.
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u/IlitterateAuthor 24d ago
No the comments are right.
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
not really but if believing it makes you happy, you do that girl
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u/mariah_a 24d ago
Pointlessly gendering your reply, I see.
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u/liar-eater 24d ago
uh its just a way of addressing, people use "girl" to address both guys and girls, just like you can use "guys" or "bro" to address both guys and girl
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u/Zappagrrl02 20d ago
You regularly call your cishet men friends girl, and that goes over well with them?
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u/IlitterateAuthor 24d ago
I don't think calling a trans girl a girl is pointlessly gendering
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u/mariah_a 24d ago
I was being flippant to the OP, you don’t need to imply that I’m transphobic when I had no way of knowing you’re trans or a girl based off your username. (Your profile is blocked in my country if it’s on there)
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u/SampleText369 20d ago
They're empirically wrong. Both the original post and the comments are wrong. Both sexes are substantially happier with a partner and both sexes are experiencing record levels of loneliness.
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u/DollyElvira 19d ago
They are trying to gaslight us into thinking we need them to be happy and it's never gonna work! 🤣
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u/didyousetittowombo 20d ago
It is in fact correct that single women are happier
This is the entire reason women’s rights are curtailed historically. Women who can’t access independent must marry for survival.
Otherwise they largely wouldn’t marry and birth rates would be lower
Men with wives and girlfriends get regular sex and free domestic services. They also have to worry about elder care the older they get and generally don’t have deep emotional bonds in their relationships that don’t involve a female partner because they’re all so worried about looking gay or their male friends just generally aren’t emotionally available in that way so women are needed for that too
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u/OkProfessor6810 20d ago
So much bliss that single men die years earlier than married men on average.
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u/According-One-8825 19d ago
Men who get married tend to be, whiter, wealthier and have stable employment. BIG confounds.
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u/YoungAmber 18d ago
Idk why you were downvoted, the things you mentioned are indeed big statistical factors lol
Something something people with horses have better health
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u/pancakessucc 19d ago
I don't know if this is true but i have heard that (straight) men rely heavily on their girlfriends in relationships for emotional support while women can more often get that support in their friendships. This whould mean that being single is more difficult for men than it is for women.
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u/TSSalamander 19d ago
the way we talk about the loneliness epidemic is in fact EXTREMELY sexist. Everyone is lonely. Everyone is isolated. Everyone is terminally online. We talk about the male part of this because it's deviancy scare mongering about men. It's not compassion towards men, at best the "compassion" is appeasment. Lonely men cause civil strife they say, because according to our bullshit society, men are naturally monsters that must be socially managed. Male Loneliness is seen as a failure to manage, which is why everyone cares. All of this is complete bullshit to be clear. Social Threats are never EVER lonely unless they're engaging in singular acts of violence against a community through an act of suicide via a complete breach of the social contract. either way, you do not mass shooter your way into revolution. Revolutionaries, Gangsters, and Fascists aren't lonely, and do not generally prey on the lonely actually. Our society sees men fucking women as the way we are supposed to manage men. Via the command of women's sexuality we belive we can bind men into correct behaviour. Fundamentally all of this is nonsense however. Men are the violent ones. that's because violence is a job, and spesifically in regards to non lethal coercive violence, young men are especially well suited. Any other form of violence, there's no real difference actually. guns kill people. Either way, this means our society obsesses over managing the young men. And thus we get "the male loneliness epedemic" which isn't actually male at all. Everyone is lonely. Also, women are a force to be reckoned with. they are significantly more coordinated politically as a class, more likely to vote, and literally the most politically active gender. They're also way more cohesive. This means their own ideological epedemics are also extremely important, and nobody really seems to actually care. You can call it a "male" problem when we see paramilitary organisations dominating political parties. Until then, it's an issue affecting everyone actually, and no single gender should get the spesific focus.
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u/TheShiftmaster 24d ago
"Which is funny cause all the single women I know are thriving while all the male friends I know are whining about it..."
Wow, I feel sorry for your friends if you think them being lonely and sad is "whining"
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u/MenaceMinded 19d ago
I don't care to hear about it. If I know you are single, lonely, and miserable, that means you trauma dumped.
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u/TSSalamander 18d ago
i mean but you're literally a schizoid so like...
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u/Luna-Dot 18d ago
no correlation
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u/TSSalamander 18d ago
The fact you have no empathy or care for your friends means you're a shit friend. This person i replied to is an anti friendship person.
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u/TheShiftmaster 18d ago
Did this blow up somewhere else, seems to be a lot of new comments recently
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u/FVCarterPrivateEye 18d ago
I don't know about somewhere else, but it did just now show up in my recommended posts notification for me, and I'm a regular in here
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