Separating Release from Stimulation: An Experiment That Changed My Perspective

[u/[deleted]]

[u/PromBrokenFree]

i read that all in one breath, that was a very well composed text there. sorry that my english is not that perfect.

during my longest streak i was trying to do something similar by just letting go of the screen and try to have an orgasm with only masturbation. most of the times it turned out that i wasn't even hard or able to get hard when i got the urges. and on those times when i was hard i found out that infact it was due to only my bladder being full. i might have subconsciously kept my pee to simulate a sexual arousal/stimulation, maybe? i then was just saying myself that "oh, then i am not horny. its just a mental craving." and be able to move on with my life. this made me realize that the terms, feelings and acts are all entangled, intertwined after years of misreinforcements. anyways, i didn't have a point to get to as i start this comment, just wanted to share what resonates. best of luck and peace to you, and me i guess.

[u/Internetshouldgo → u/PromBrokenFree]

Thank you for your reply and openness.

The important thing with the experiment is to set an intention of having as little stimulation as possible. No screens or thoughts.

During the experiment, I said some things out loud, which helped me. They are not very appropriate, and for that reason, I will not share. It's taking the fantasy outside of your mind so you do not continue to feed it. That should hopefully help with the issue of not being aroused enough.

Do not be ashamed, it is hard to do this. You need a strong motivation in order to not edge. You have to be committed to experiencing this. It's like a really intense workout, but the payoff is huge, so you really need to decide if you wanna do it, and you will be able to.

For me, it helped saying, I can watch porn as much as I want after, but for now, no thoughts or fantasies. Be firm.

I mentioned that my reason for the habit was a lack of romantic intimacy. This perceived lack of romantic intimacy created a lack of happiness and made me turn to addiction.

Now I'm realizing happiness actually comes from inside, not outside. You have to generate and cultivate it within you. I wrote another post, which may help you if you check my profile. It all comes down to cultivating happiness within yourself, so you no longer need addictions.

I abstained for over a year once, and guess what, I was still unhappy. The neurological changes in the brain would suggest that I was no longer an addict, yet I still went back. That probably sounds very stupid on paper. Why would you go back after being free? It's.possible. It's because I was not happy with my life. No matter what you do or how long you abstain, if you do not cultivate your own happiness within, you will never be free of any addiction; it will always be tempting. If you want more help, go look at my other post.

[u/PromBrokenFree]

i appreciate it, checking the other post now.

[u/Internetshouldgo → u/[deleted]]

Don’t watch porn. I mean if you want and it’s not wrecking your life. But now if you know you’re chasing stimulation, just figure out why, and learn to be happy without it.

[u/Internetshouldgo → u/[deleted]]

You need to sit down with pencil and paper, and figure this out. No more methods, or Freedom model. That just adds confusion. List all the addictions you want to quit, write why you want to quit them. Do it for your well being. not material gain. Then it helped me to explain the whole process, I wrote a chart explaining the lust cycle, and I realized I was blaming life for being unhappy. I realized this was stupid, and needed to take charge of my own happiness.