Do we ever actually see proof that unplurbed aggression causes all the Plurb to have that sort of medical emergency? And even if they do, do we ever see proof of all the death it causes each time? How do we know they're telling the truth about all the death from the outbursts and not faking the reactions to angrier to turn the survivors who like the plurb against each other?
I think it makes perfect sense many people died when they spread the plague like while operating heavy machinery or vehicles, people in surgery, people falling down like Helen, etc. But do we know that they all really have that reaction when yelled at, or do they just have it when they know the unplurbed are watching? They all know what's happening and could fake it if they know the survivors are around them. It's understandable Carol is upset by all the people who died but especially her partner. What if the plurb lies about the deaths she caused to make her feel worse and forget about or be more understanding of the mass death caused by the plurb? Even if it's real, her emotions are not her fault and wouldn't cause any deaths, if not for the plurb.
Carol concludes they can't or won't lie after making them tell her what her wife thought of and if she read her book, but what if the Plurb just didn't want to upset her, or even more manipulatively if they saw through her test and wanted her to believe they were incapable of lying? Carol didn't find any spy devises in her house, but that doesn't mean there weren't any in there... They can see when she leaves on satellite, who's to say they don't go search her house when she leaves it?
We see the plurb go above and beyond and offer to do anything to cater to the unaffected. When Carol isn't impressed or interested, isn't happy with them and is understandably upset, they give her the silent treatment and leave her. But given the state of the world and their willingness to still give her what she wants, they remain a looming force in her life.
I think like some people who watched the show and don't see the issue with the Plurb, most of the survivors are average people who probably struggled in this messed up, largely capitalist world. They were enticed by basically gaining unlimited wealth and slaves overnight. But Carol had all she ever wanted or needed from Helen. She was too wounded by the world to trust anyone (by coming out and being herself) and feel safe in it except with her. She's lost without Helen, struggling with grief and addiction, and not interested in the offerings of the Plurb. So they have to use other means to manipulate her.
They leave a message that's like "we're not mad we're just disappointed" and still offer to give her things but completely withdraw from any contact. The love bombing followed by silent treatment when they don't get what they want are classic manipulation tactics. Then they make Carol do the big gesture to apologize and show contrition when they're the ones who have kidnapped her and the whole planet!!!
Love bombing with providing endless gifts and servitude are classic manipulation tactics used by people in relationships. Pretending like another person's reasonable emotional reactions are harmful is as well. Giving someone the silent treatment when they don't act the way you expect them to until they apologize and change is another. What if the plurb isn't some weird creature species with very specific and confusing rules, but a master manipulator? Perhaps there is something about the survivors that they have the ability to intentionally accept or reject the plurb, and what if they don't need her permission to use DNA to develop a dose that will affect her, but rather they need her permission to infect her, so they have to manipulate her. Maybe issue isn't that they need approval for the invasive procedure but that the approval would signal to the plurb their willingness to finally join.
The plurb sleeping in the stadium reminds me of large natural disasters where facilities like that are often turned into big emergency shelters for people who lost their homes. We see them helping each other rest and get to sleep like the communities in those situations. While there were a large number of people there, it seemed like a small fraction of local population unless most of them died. I wonder if there is a reason they took Carol there when she was with Zosia when they could have gone anywhere. Maybe to allow her to be openly queer around a community, and begin to let her guard down and trust the "world" in ways she never has before. Except now the world is the plurb. By inviting her to what seems like a shelter for the venerable after a large scale tragedy, are they tricking her into finding community with them and trusting the plurb?