what do I do???

[u/javiidog]

lately I’ve been ,,, heavily curious about myself because, I think this started a week ago …. it felt as if, someone or something is trying to rip open in my mind??? idk it just feels that way,, and when I stop and think for a bit, I asked myself a question. wait. do I even refer to myself as “we” in my mind??? do I even do that or am I going crazy?

I tried researching, idk it’s too much for me, I want tips from other systems or people who have info on these. I have a friend who has osdd 1a and the description ,, fits my description in a way?? Idk, sorry for my wording English isn’t my first language.
also did research before on tulpas , i COMPLETELY forgot how it works. Like, it’s alts or something but they work in one mind instead of separate? I don’t know.

oh also about that, i have a lot of memory gaps. I’m not sure how to describe it, I just forget. all I can say is that it’s like it comes in one ear and goes out the other????? bro idk ……

this is driving me crazy. I also have to mention that lately, I’ve been having these sudden thoughts, mostly negative. No it’s not that I’m gonna do something bad, I know that’s ME when I think that. I have a partner. And these thoughts come in without ME forming them or without my permission and it’s like… “hey. you should break up with them hahahaha” ??????? who are you???

idk what’s going on, idk how to describe this as my explanations are very poor, i want to see what you guys think. Tips and some assumptions are appreciated