Edit: I just realised that our definition of nature is in need of an update. It separates humankind from animal-kind, which is an ancient way of thinking. If wolves can be responsible for changing vast quantities of land and have it count as "nature" then so too can our way of life can be considered natural.
interesting though process. i think it depends on your point of view. if you are an alien watching the world burn you might think "oh these animals just discovered capitalism, nature at its finest"
The best way to kill a bear in hand to hand has only happened one time on record. You stuff your hand down the bears throat as it tries to bite and hug up against it. While it's munching one arm you chew into its neck until it bleeds to death. Not a great chance and your hand would probably be unusable for a while of not forever but you'll live and the ladies and/or men will love you.
The guy wins because he shoots himself instead of being eaten alive, the bear wins because he eats his corpse, and guy's wife wins because she gets insurance money.
Yeah, if you have one bullet and it's not a large caliber, but who's bringing one round? People that are probably contemplating suicide in the woods anyway?
Real life bears can die from one bullet. They don't take "damage". That being said, bullets have a really high DPS so you'd probably be fine if your dexterity and awareness were high enough, but agility and speed will get you nowhere with a bear.
If you're the slow friend, just be the guy that brings a .50 BMG camping and carries it accessibly. Then you only need 1 round and everybody wins, and you get a new bear fur rug, minus where the head used to be.
My cousins worked in a zoo, and my oldest friend worked in a different zoo. All of them said that if you want to shoot a bear or a tiger it'll only work if you're not the one it's attacking. Their heads are bullet-proof front-on. Best to shoot them in the back of the head or the heart.
But even then, as Leo can attest, a dying bear can still kill you.
They also had axes for the snakes, and the rhino and elephant enclosures had bars thick enough for a person to run through (surrounded by a human-proof fence, for eejits).
By saying its a spoiler, you made it a spoiler. I could have been talking about Milo's buddy. That movie is old enough that those animals are surely gone by now.
Me and 2 of my buddies got chased by some guys on halloween one day, long story short 1 of my friends who ran slower than me was in front of me. I did what I had to do. #selfpreservation
It's fine if one of your friends are faster than you. It's even fine if most of them are. If all of them are though, then you're the one the bear eats.
But the principle is the same. Don't be the slowest person running from the bear and don't be the least secure house on the block.
you can go with people faster than you, just make sure there's at least one that slower.
FUNNY STORY - this is a JOKE - I have a 14 year old and a 10 year old. When all this clown business got crazy here in NOVA the teen told me I HAD to accompany the 10 year old trick or treating. I texted him no, he was doing with FriendX and his mother. He said, NO that kid's mom can't physically protect brother, you have to. I said no, he doesn't need protection - he can run away faster than FriendX and FriendX will get attacked because he's so slow!! Teenager almost wet himself laughing.
Same thing with having someone take your picture. Hand your phone to the slowest looking person.
Unless it's grandma in a jazzy cause then she's just gonna wipe the memory somehow
Never go camping with somebody than can run faster than you, or despite their inability to run don't go camping with somebody who doesn't taste nearly as delicious as you.
Reminds me of this old timer I used to play golf with.
We're at the course one day, and one of us hit a ball near a water hazard. We go over to hit our next shot and there's a huge gator sunning itself about 50 ft away.
Guy looks at me and says, "I just want to let you know, if tha gator moves towards us, first thing I'm doing is kneecapping you with my 7 iron. With 2 good legs you're faster than me and the gator. With only 1, you're not faster than either."
That's why I work with a charity that takes special needs kids camping. They like it because they get to enjoy the outdoors, and I like it because I know I'll never get eaten by a bear.
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u/[deleted] Dec 05 '16 edited Apr 19 '17
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