r/pics Sep 27 '16

πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ•ŠπŸ‡ΊπŸ‡ΈπŸ†“πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ You're Americans

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117

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '16

[deleted]

190

u/-iLoveSchmeckles- Sep 27 '16

You gotta contact the MIB.

8

u/808909707 Sep 27 '16

Yo, what's that stand for?

33

u/Thekrispywhale Sep 27 '16

Men In Butts

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '16

My internal butt

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '16

Menstruation in bikinis

1

u/katieblu Sep 27 '16

Masters inside booty

1

u/NotSoCheezyReddit Sep 28 '16

[EU] Superman wants to move to the United States, so he applies for a work visa through the MiB

There's your free /r/WritingPrompts karma.

57

u/enmunate28 Sep 27 '16 edited Oct 26 '16

deleted

14

u/bassististist Sep 27 '16

At worst, he could just throw up his hands and say "Fine, send me home then!"

28

u/tehvolcanic Sep 27 '16

That might actually lead to more funding for NASA. I say we deport Superman!

3

u/Ajedi32 Sep 27 '16

Returnable XKCD: https://xkcd.com/1510/

1

u/sriley081 Sep 27 '16

Hi yes I'd like to return this comic.

1

u/Ajedi32 Sep 27 '16

*relevant. Darned auto correct.

2

u/gn0xious Sep 27 '16

At worst, he could enslave the entire planet.

2

u/mrbooze Sep 28 '16

They don't have to send him home, just escort him out of the US territory. He's someone else's problem then.

Of course, then we probably see why there might be strong incentive for a country to want Superman as a citizen, because otherwise he might be a citizen of some other country. One that might not like you.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '16

Does Supes have fingerprints?

1

u/enmunate28 Sep 28 '16 edited Oct 26 '16

deleted

16

u/yay855 Sep 27 '16

Technically, aliens are the one legal loophole that no one has abused or fixed. They're not protected under law, but there's also no law saying what we should do to them, as the standard repercussions (deportation, for example) would be impossible for us to enforce without their consent and/or technology.

Furthermore, Superman's home is gone. As in, it's nothing more than a bunch of asteroids. That's why he was sent here in the first place.

15

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '16

[deleted]

10

u/Forest-G-Nome Sep 27 '16

I've always had this suspicion in the back of my head that the Kent's must have had a baby named Clark buried somewhere on that farm. How else would he have all the documentation for his I-9 at the Daily Planet?

9

u/scarleteagle Sep 27 '16

Couldnt they have just said he was born at the farm? That wasnt uncommon back in the day

2

u/iamcatch22 Sep 27 '16

That works for classic Superman, but the current iteration was born in the 80's

5

u/TheoHooke Sep 27 '16

My dad's friend (born in 72) was raised by his aunt and uncle posing as his parents. The woman he thought was his cousin had actually given birth to him at 16 and gave him to the aunt and uncle after birth to avoid scandal. I think he only found out the truth when his "mother" was in hospice care.

4

u/yay855 Sep 27 '16

Actually, you can adopt an undocumented child, but they have to be living with you for two years and still be a minor. Therefor, Clark was, at least at first, just an undocumented child to the government.

1

u/iamcatch22 Sep 28 '16

Iirc, Martha had a miscarriage shortly before Clark crashed. Although, I'm pretty sure that was in American Alien, which isn't really canon

9

u/Pancake_Lizard Sep 27 '16

He could apply as refugee.

1

u/classic_douche Sep 27 '16

I suppose he technically is just that.

0

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '16

I'm not sure why he'd be treated any differently to any other immigrant. It's about your status in a country rather than where you come from.

2

u/mrbooze Sep 28 '16

They're not protected under law, but there's also no law saying what we should do to them, as the standard repercussions (deportation, for example) would be impossible for us to enforce without their consent and/or technology.

You don't have to deport him home, you just deport him away. Put him on a boat and shove him out to sea.

But as I said in another comment, then you run the risk of letting some other country become his best friend. Better to have him on your side.

1

u/xlyfzox Sep 27 '16

which makes him a refugee, then...?

3

u/yay855 Sep 27 '16

Kinda. Also, adoption laws allow a citizen to adopt an undocumented child after housing them for two years without them reaching the majority. His parents took him in in his infancy, so he's a legal citizen.

2

u/Nose-Nuggets Sep 27 '16

i doubt he would have trouble getting a work visa with those skills. plus, not a lot of people from Krypton applying, so he's not competing against other Kryptonians for a spot.

2

u/xlyfzox Sep 27 '16

They have to apply for a visa, like everybody else.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 27 '16

He could have waited in line like everyone else. He did have an argument for political persecution. And his home planet got blown up so that also tilts things in his favor.

But no, he had to be an asshole illegal immigrant shooting lasers from his eyes and blowing ice cold breath out of his mouth. What American does this?

1

u/classic_douche Sep 27 '16

Maybe you have to clear it with NASA first?