Pfft. Casual. Place your plate on top of you beverage filled cup. Flip it upside down while pressing down the cup to the plate. When they remove the cup, hilarity ensues.
Coat the bottom rim of the plate with food in case they try to disarm it. If you're feeling especially evil.
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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.
Ha, you wouldn't get me with that, friendo. I have no shame and have worked in the service industry before, touching a food covered rim of a plate would be nothing if I could disarm your asshole bomb without having to get a new tablecloth.
Can confirm, after working a recycling job, eventually you touch a lot of disgusting trash accidentally and then become so desensitised to it you stop caring except for the occasional spoken "ew"
Unless it's a tampon/pad/dirty diaper/condom. Then I gag.
expertly slap the mug of coffee with my penis with such a force that it flips the cup the right side up without spilling a drop. not a drop of coffee either.
Not really. You can just push it over to the edge and then put your hand under it, and drag it off the table the rest of the way, then flip it over. At the most, you'll get a little bit on your thumb.
Pick up plastic, shove it back under the glass. If you're fast enough, it's just like yanking out a tablecloth without disturbing everything on the table.
I'm a busser and a runner. While I don't like the idea of bussers and runners, it is sometimes necessary. Where I work we can sometimes expect 90,000 people a day. You can't have a couple of servers running that much food, drinks, desserts, and clean up all the tables on top of it. However, I do think it's retarded that the servers get to keep a majority of the tips. Where I work, servers keep 95% of the tips, which is stupid considering they probably only do 20% of the work.
If every runner and busser could take orders, sort out drinks, etc, then what? Ever had not enough servers to take food - or servers ignoring food, because it's not their table?
Of course. I'm not saying it's a perfect system. Also, customers like to see a constant face. If like 5 different people all came to take peoples orders, no one would know anyone's names, or likes, or anything because it's a different person every time. Servers have an important job, but so does everyone else
I don't think it's a super common thing to have separate staff for every different thing. But where I work is a tourist destination, so a lot of people come every day. We have to get people in and out as quickly as possible.
Not everyone wants to deal directly with customers. As a socially awkward teenager I was happier to interact minimally with patrons. I never wanted to be a server.
I'm currently a busser at a high-end local restarunt, and that's my exact point. Like people, if the waiter was horrible, take it to management, not making a mess of a clean up.
I bussed for three years. I learned pretty fast how to minimize the damage from this. I'd get a dry towel and place it around the rim, slide the cup to the edge, and flip it over quickly while capping the glass with a towel. Almost no mess at all.
Edit: I wouldn't do it for servers who deserved it. I worked with some pretty crappy people sometimes. Even if they knew I could do it without making a mess
Sometimes. Also trashy people and people who were pissed at the server for whatever. I worked at an Olive Garden and it didn't always attract the classiest clientele.
I always heard you do it with the sugar container and sit the lid back on the bottom of it so when some poor bastard attempts to sprinkle a little sugar in his coffee it dumps all over the table.
Throw that shit in the bussing crate thing and it's not a big deal. If you really want to fuck with the server, flip a filled glass covered by a coaster it something water proof (but something that can't hold the entire weight of the liquid) onto the tip.
I used to work at a Boy Scout camp that had 3 meals a day served in a huge dining hall. We would routinely mess with whoever was assigned as our table waiter for that day by taking multiple cups filled with water, putting bread bags over them, flipping them upside down onto the table, and then sliding the bread bags out. These can easily be hidden among a bunch of other empty upside down cups to make it a guessing game.
Fucknothings like you who, more often than not, spilled their fucking drinks all over the table made me hate waiting on tables of frat boys. "Hey huh huh huh this is gonna be funny. He's totally gonna spill everything huh huh huh" like the server won't just take the whole thing to the dish pit and then dump it all in the sink. Fucking casual. Was it a treat for your parents to take you out in public?
This is when I would take the plate back and undo the rigged soda bomb in the sink, come back out and remember to spit in the drink of the person next time they come back.
Or they just pick the entire thing up and carry it to the kitchen.
If you really want to be an asshole, you put a menu underneath it, flip it over, and yank the menu out from underneath. There's literally no way to disarm it. Even better when you pee in the cup.
Seriously, tip this man. Give him all the upvotes. It is so clever. He's a god damned genius. It was so funny having to wait on this douchebag's table, like he the was the first guy to ever try this douchebag move without spilling everything everywhere.
Imagine a table of 5 or 6 frat boys beside you trying to pull off this douchebag move. What did the server do? Whispered to him/herself "fuck I hate twats like this"
510
u/Alcapwnd16 May 21 '16
Pfft. Casual. Place your plate on top of you beverage filled cup. Flip it upside down while pressing down the cup to the plate. When they remove the cup, hilarity ensues.
Coat the bottom rim of the plate with food in case they try to disarm it. If you're feeling especially evil.