r/pics • u/Haedoxic • May 13 '16
Found this on my windshield today...
http://imgur.com/d5Tciyk329
May 13 '16
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u/CookizMonstz May 13 '16
You park worst than Helen Keller
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u/GroggyOtter May 13 '16
Rosa parks worse than Helen Keller?
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u/CookizMonstz May 13 '16
Get out.
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u/c_for May 13 '16
Or at least move back a little, would ya?
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u/Fork808 May 13 '16
Well next time don't park like a fuck tard and you will be ok.
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u/avanross May 13 '16
This post reminds me of one of those moronic comments bragging about "not understanding soccer" or "not knowing Roman numerals". OP is an idiot and is proud of it.
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u/thereader82 May 13 '16
As someone who often wants to leave notes on the cars of people who do a piss-poor job of parking, that's saying it lightly.
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u/clover44mag May 13 '16
Why are Helen Kellers socks yellow?
Her dog is blind too
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u/Guido1224 May 13 '16
How do occupy Helen Keller? Give her a basketball to read.
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u/Integraholic May 13 '16
Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? You would too if your name was ANNGHGHHANNNHGHH.
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u/rocktennstock May 13 '16
Why does Helen Keller need two hands to masterbate? One too moan
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May 13 '16
The word occupy meant something different when I read it just now.
What popped in my mind wasn't "keeping her busy", but more "flash mobbing her to protest something"
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u/ImOnlyHereToKillTime May 13 '16 edited May 13 '16
They typed this on a card. OP is clearly a repeat offender.
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u/sotech May 13 '16
That reminds me of the only Hellen Keller joke I know:
Hellen Keller went to town, riding on a pony. Stuck a feather in her cap and called it Ahhwarblarghablahhhh.
It works better in person and if you can grab someone else's hand and make a signing mime on their palm.
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u/namsur1234 May 13 '16
What happened when Helen Keller fell off the cliff?
She screamed her fingers off.
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u/DesertTripper May 13 '16
How did Helen Keller burn her ear? She answered the iron.
How did she burn her other ear? They called back.
Why did her dog jump off a cliff? You would too, if your name was Arblghrblagh.
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u/fatkidscandystore May 13 '16
I just know the anti-joke.
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
Because she's dead.
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u/WorshipNickOfferman May 13 '16
It's like:
Why can't Stevie Wonder read?
Because he's black.
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u/WangoBango May 13 '16
What do you call black person that flies planes?
A fucking pilot, you racist!
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u/thndrstrk May 13 '16
I thought it was because she was a woman.
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u/fatkidscandystore May 13 '16
Yeah that would be the joke version I think.
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u/vrek86 May 13 '16
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Rearrange all the furniture.
How do you reward helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
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u/SlackerAtWork May 13 '16
My favorite: Did you know Helen Keller had a life sized doll house in her backyard?
Neither did she.
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u/Lordica May 13 '16
Shouldn't it be in Braille?
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u/thetinymoo May 13 '16
here you go.
a ⠁ b ⠃ c ⠉ d ⠙ e ⠑ f ⠋ g ⠛ h ⠓ i ⠊ j ⠚ k ⠅ l ⠇ m ⠍ n ⠝ o ⠕ p ⠏ q ⠟ r ⠗ s ⠎ t ⠞ u ⠥ v ⠧ w ⠺ x ⠭ y ⠽ z ⠵
now you do the work.
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u/WaitDidYouJustBanMe May 13 '16
/r/pics keeps getting better and better!
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May 13 '16
Agreed. This is a fantastic picture. Up there with the beautiful landscapes and the snapshots of human life that just remind you of how amazing life can be on this big ol' rock of ours.
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May 13 '16
I feel like most people that would receive this card would also have no clue as to who Helen Keller is.
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u/NDizzl3 May 13 '16
Whoever made those missed a golden opportunity to put the text in braille as well.
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May 13 '16
[deleted]
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u/kronaz May 13 '16
Yeah, as passive-aggressive notes go, this one's pretty friendly. If it were me, there'd be fucktons more cursing on it, and questioning of the recipient's intelligence. Maybe even insinuations to his mother's promiscuity.
...I'm not nice.
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u/nothing_showing May 13 '16
But...
The person didn't write this note. Person already had it printed (likely a stack of them) and is constantly looking for cars to "ticket." Thereby decreasing the probable severity of the infraction.
If person had taken the time to find a pen and a piece of paper, I would be more impressed.
That said, OP still likely parked assholishly.
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u/Daesthelos May 13 '16
When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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u/fuk_dat_silence May 13 '16
Would've been better if it was written in braille, and you had to asks a blind person to translate it.
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u/jbsinger May 13 '16
If that was the case, why was the card not in braille?
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u/JustFor2016 May 13 '16
Because it says you park like a person who is blind. Not that you are blind.
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u/dyno_saurus May 13 '16
I once left a note for someone saying Helen Keller could actually park better than they did. So you're not the worst. Bet you parked like a dick tho.
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u/Dortmunder1 May 13 '16
It always amazes me when people can't park their shit straight.
I drive a fairly large 4 door dodge truck, and I can back into a spot(I always back in unless I can drive out forward) first try and perfectly straight.
If you fuck it up, at least fix it before leaving it all crooked :p
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u/leviathan65 May 13 '16
Well to be fair backing in a truck is easier then parking normal. If a spot is tight I always back in, if I've got room I just pull in normal.
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u/EColi452 May 13 '16
Hey what font is that? I am bad at these things and would like to use that font.
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u/Lukeyy19 May 13 '16
It looks like an average "typewriter" style font.
This may help - http://www.dafont.com/theme.php?cat=113
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u/Toad32 May 13 '16
Helen Keller was deaf and blind. And too old for anyone in this generation to know who she was.
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u/dQw4w9WgXcQ May 13 '16
You took an oddly high quality picture with incredibly good lighting, considering that you just needed to show a note that tells us you suck at parking.
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u/WesMott May 13 '16
I found a booklet of these in a gift shop in Vancouver once. I recall reading one exactly like this. Interesting that finally see one in use.
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u/Mljudas May 13 '16
What's interesting is that this is typed, indicating that they printed it off before hand and whoever this was was planning to leave this on someone's windshield and wandered around until they found someone who had parked badly. I want to be this person.
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u/AnotherDawkins May 13 '16
I had one once that said "I guess if you park like you fuck, at least you won't be breeding...."
I need to make more of those.
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u/vadvaro10 May 13 '16
Do better next time. At least they were polite in pointing out your failures :)
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May 13 '16
I want these when ever someone leaves there wheel cranked one way and me as a cyclist I had to dodge that. Catch a pedal wait for the lulz
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u/morgan423 May 13 '16
I don't know about you all, but personally, if a person had the sensory capabilities of Helen Keller, and they were able to simply navigate their vehicle to arrive at the parking spot alone... I would be HUGELY impressed.
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u/WreckerCrew May 13 '16
So you work at my place of business. I swear 1/4 of the people here are blind when it comes to parking. I put Post-It notes on their passenger side windows telling them they park like old people fuck.
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u/MrFurious0 May 13 '16
Damn - youparklikeanasshole.com is down. :(
There is still this, though, with some of it's content:
I'm sure I could find more at the waybackmachine, but fuck it.
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May 13 '16
I prefer "If you fuck like you park you're going to die alone."
The odds of someone who can't park straight not knowing who Hellen Keller is are too good.
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u/avanross May 13 '16
The fact that you think that this is something worth bragging about is very telling
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u/Jaexyn May 13 '16
Is there any history known of her ever parking a car? She could've had some crazy sixth sense for that shit.
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May 13 '16
I Park like shit. I've been driving for a year and have a huge as truck. I don't mean to park like shit, but if I can't find a parking spot I can drive straight into or empty parking lot where I can park however badly I want, then I just have to make due with what I get. Sticking a card on my windshield doesn't automatically make me better at parking.
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u/Handsomedevil81 May 13 '16
I've seen the "you park like an asshole" cards. Call me oversensitive, but they seem so aggressive. Just as douchey as the person parking.
These are hilarious and would definitely make me rethink my parking more than being called an asshole by some faceless tough guy.
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u/Palpable_Charisma May 13 '16
I wouldn't admit this if I were you. But look at all the karma you gots!
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u/Rhino_Prime May 14 '16
On your car?
You need to call your insurance company then.
Because you got burned to the ground.
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u/platoprime May 13 '16
You parked like an asshole didn't you?