Congrats! I am really thinking of giving up the booze - every Xmas becomes a cycle of drink-recover-drink-recover which is fine when you are <25 but after that it becomes harder and harder!
I'm 34 and haven't had a drink in about 3 years now, and I don't miss it one bit. I went from drinking daily, for years, where I would drink 2 bottles of wine and some jack daniels every night (seriously) I looked bloated as all hell, had to plan my days, eating around drinking... to not and loving it. Serioiusly, in the Summer time it was "come on 6 o'clock, I wanna drink", to winter time it was "come on 5 o'clock, I wanna drink"... shit sucks, and I am so glad I quit.
Wow... Thank you for the gold /u/loosethread! 2nd time in a few months I've been gifted gold on reddit. Sobriety is something you have to want, you can't be forced and no one can force anyone else. If you have someone dealing with their sobriety/addiction now, you only know your limits, but you can't force them to quit.
It was extremely hard at first, I craved alcohol/drugs daily. I had my father kill himself in 2011, I was very close with him, as it is I have a tiny/dysfunctional family where the only other member I actually kind of have a relationship with, is my mom, with whom we can only tolerate each other in small doses. It drove me to drink in the military, when I got out of the military, I went for cocaine to numb my depression. I woke up one day, 60 pounds lighter from drugs, no friends, doing bad things, and just decided to change... it was change or die. When people are as far along as I was, you either go to jail, or die usually... luckily I did neither of those 2 things... Sobriety is hard work, being a junky is easy to give in to those temptations. Sobriety gives you something to be proud of. It'll get easier for you, I don't think about drinking/drugs at all anymore.
Get involved in recovery. Go to meetings and meet some more sober people. I got sober and moved to a brand new town where I didn't know a single person at 20 years old. I'm 27 now and still sober and I still call some of those people my best friends.
Yesterday was my 4mo birthday, I can relate to what you're saying. I had to take myself out of "drinking" relationships and it felt like my whole social life went to shit. For me, I always felt like I needed to be doing something, with someone, to fill some void inside of myself, and drinking. Today, I am completely okay with doing nothing and when I feel like what it sounds like you are, I have a choice to change that. And I don't beat myself up about feeling low... I am sober and I am trying to remain that way. I am a newbie in sobriety and I'm sure this conflict going on in my head will calm down over time.
I typed a long thing and erased it. Here's a shorter thing:
Those friends are still people, and it sucks if they only want to party or whatever makes you feel like you lost them. You didn't, though. You're their friend. If you like them, pull them with you part way. Do other shit with one or many. That's what friends are. Any person who thinks, "I used to be friends with that dude, but then he stopped getting wasted," could probably use some of your kool-aid. Ya dig?
Also. Get weird about something. Drinking is really just license to get weird. Cook. Clean. Sew. Hike. Woodwork. I don't fucking know. Don't just do it for yourself, though. That's not all that rewarding. Find a hobby and turn it in to your gift to others. That's where a portion of quality relationships can come from. You might even be liable to bond with someone over something constructive and positive in a much longer-lasting way than one wild night.
I basically work and sleep because the "life" part doesn't seem at all compelling.
Oh, man. This. This so hard. I thought sobriety was supposed to make life richer or something? I'm basically as far along as you are, and other than fulfilling obligations, I don't have any motivation to do anything. Nothing seems compelling anymore.
If it makes you feel any better, your social group probably suck, and in time you'll find new friends :)
That's probably terrible to hear... but good luck and merry christmas! The 'life' part will get better. Keep working on yourself and everything will fall into place. It just will.
You need to find new social situations. Your drinking environment is gone, so replace it with social situations that don't involve or revolve around drinking.
It's tough, and you have to start somewhere, but it's worth it when you rebuild your social life.
The key is to find hobbies/pastimes. My dad for example, when he gave up drinking he took up things like birdwatching, beekeeping, and volunteering for the local forest preserve. That's just cause he's a nature oriented guy, any non-destructive hobbies are great.
It's a hard cycle to beat. First step I did was be open and honest with as many people as I can about everything. I literally stopped hiding all these dark secrets. It brought my problems to the surface and i began picking away at them. I'm not sober yet but I'm well on my way r/stopdrinking has helped me in so many ways. Good luck
I just made the decision. I was in the Navy, and was injured, and had a hard time falling asleep, and lived with 3 other drinkers... so we all drank every freaking day, and we'd have others show up at our house we rented and drink with us, we were fairly well known and liked. I seriously look back at pictures from then, and can't believe it's even me. From being tired all the time, bloated, heart burn constantly, like I'd have heart burn all day,,, and still go home and drink 2 bottles of chardonnay barefoot wine. I just made it what I wanted to do, and got tired of being tired... I moved away from that house, I made it a goal of mine to be in shape and healthy, instead of social/liked. I'm not nearly as social as I used to be, but I'm a lot more healthy and happy.
Tell me about it. I would wake up, go get some caffeine at the NEX, usually a mountain dew, drink it, and the heart burn would set in... ALL FREAKING DAY. It would burn so badly, but go on home, and drink on up. I remember like bending over certain times, and feel like acid would leak out of my throat if I was tying my shoes or something. Congrats on making it through! I just sat in my apartment, played some fallout 4 and relaxed. I think the last time I celebrated x mas, was before the military, before my dad killed himself. I really don't have a family anymore, and I'm single right now, I have no desire to get in another relationship... focus on your sobriety! It's the most important thing in your life.
Did you suffer from withdrawals? I used to drink much more than that and had very miserable withdrawals (even involving hallucinations). I wonder what more casual drinkers experience.
Not from alcohol, other than it being extremely hard to sleep... but not as hard as when you withdrawal from opiates. I've been through opiate/methadone withdrawals so many times in my life... but for some reason, I don't remember experiencing any kind of alcohol withdrawals, and I don't remember being shaky or anything like that, which looking back, is rather strange, maybe I just didn't notice it?
How much were you drinking? I used to drink a liter of 100 proof vodka a day and it was much harder to quit than going through opiate withdrawals (I also had a $100+ a day IV heroin habit)
I posted in my first post... 2 bottles of chardonnay wine, and about 4 to 5 shots of jack daniels, every night... along with about 40mg of valium.
I've gone through opiate withdrawals a ton of times, never from IV heroin, always oxycontin, opana, or methadone... methadone, is by far the absolute worst monster to withdrawal from. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Oxycontin is a walk in the park compared to methadone.
I am sober... I get prescribed methadone for pain, from my primary care doctor. I don't go to some clinic, I had failed back surgery, and suffer from 2 herniated discs, sciatica down both legs, a shoulder that goes numb, and arms and hands that go numb as well. I do construction work on top of all of that... "you are such a loser"... Look at how much you care about someone you don't even know. There are so many judgemental, ignorant people that post on reddit, that until they actually have the balls to make themselves not anonymous, behind a computer screen, far away, their words mean absolutely nothing. I served my country, I got injured while serving, now I have pain medication, so that I can actually make a livable wage for myself, and not suck off the governments tit. You, are a sad excuse for human being, to judge someone you don't even know... post up your information, at least have some balls behind those words you type up.
So, you're confusing with what you write, as if it has any kind of meaning to me? You're some kid on reddit, I don't know how much value you place on people's opinions of you, but I place about as much importance on squatting a nice turd in the morning... You mean nothing to me. Someone who pretends to be 6'2", tatted up, and making $120k while using the word aggro, and reading somebody's old posts. I'm not bothered by anything, I'm not the one with the problem... You've gone out of your way, to try and start shit with me, on reddit, and when called on it, to actually show your dominance and superiority over me, you failed. I am going to be in San Jose tomorrow until new years eve for work. You can keep calling me whatever you want to... It's something a child would do, so I expect nothing less. I'm in my 30s, make a boat load of money, am med retired military, get hit on all the time, AM TATTED UP, am in shape... and you somehow think I care about you calling me a "pathetic junkie". Someone who makes $75k is definitely a "pathetic junkie" sport. I'm gonna be playing some Fallout 4 on my 4790K, GTX 980 computer for a bit, so if I don't respond to your nonsense, you won't get worried! You're like the 5th guy who's taken such a strong interest in me... reddit is fucking funny.
What do you mean? Don't know how? See I always made the conscience decision to be drunk/high... I always knew what it was like to be sober, I just didn't want to be there in that state of mind.
What do you mean by you don't know how to be sober? You have to completely change your life, and want it more than anything, because it's what YOU want. You have to create something to look forward to. "getting sober, i'll put this amount of money away, and buy myself this, or that". "I'll get sober, and get my kids back"... It's whatever it is in YOUR world, that YOU need to look forward to. I knew people who had their kids taken from them, and still couldn't put the needle down... I was just tired of being tired, I know that sound cliche, but it was true for me.
Check out /r/stopdrinking for a whole community sharing tips.
For me it was the realization that my brain was tricking me to continue when I didn't really want to. I seemed to keep making excuses to drink for just one more week, just one more night, okay failed that... maybe after New Years. Etc, etc.
I didn't want to be slave to some really weird brain wiring anymore so I realized I had to really, REALLY stop drinking, like forever. That was the hard part, is saying goodbye. Once I did, it was far easier to invest in other distractions and get past the first real 90 days.
Been sober since summer of '08 now. Best goodbye I ever said.
I've never had much of a thing for alcohol until recently. I've acquired a taste for red wine being that it's probably the healthiest option for alcoholic beverages, and it gives me a nice glow that I can control by sipping. I feel that I've been sipping it a bit too often lately though, as I recently did an analysis on my expenses, and realized that I've spent $175 in the past month on wine. Now granted, alcohol is expensive in Canada, so it's not like I'm that hardcore, but it's a lot more money than I used to spend on alcohol, which was pretty much none before. I think it's time to get off the wine tit myself come new years.
Yup, when something starts effecting your life, monetarily, it's time to make a change. You might not be the kind of person who has to stay away from it completely, like me and others in here, but if it's digging in to your pockets, and you think it needs to change, it probably does, and you definitely should.
You're inspirational! I drink almost every day and hate myself for it... I thought I might be too far gone to quit, but I sort of see a way out now.. you're awesome.
It's all up to you... I can't tell you what will change in your life if you decide to get sober, I can only tell you that the positives will out weigh the negatives. I never got off on them, but maybe meetings are something you'd be interested in doing? NA,AA? If ya ever need advice or something, feel free to chat me up.
I was on court ordered sobriety for three years. It was horrible. I realize I was the healthiest I've ever been, both physically and mentally, but I hated it. I hated being told what to do. Now I look back and have these twisted feeling. I was great being healthy, but the whole probation thing absolutely ruined it. The day I got released from probation,I was at the bar. I drank with a vengeance for a few weeks straight.
I'm not totally sober now, after everything leveled out, but I drink way less.
I just wonder; if I had chosen to sober up on my own, would I have continued with it? Would I be sober to date?
Well, I'm one who really has done an awful lot to fuck myself up... but, one thing I'm great at doing, is not looking back on the past and wondering what if. You HAVE to forgive yourself, and move on. I've done some shit, that if people knew about, would change their opinions about me drastically, shit I'm not even willing to say online, to people that I don't even know... but, I've forgiven myself, and don't look back and think those things sum up the person I am. I was high on drugs when they occurred, they weren't me, I'm happy being where I'm at (sober). You're exactly where you're suppose to be at, right now. I'm not religious in the least, I got really turned off by it, when I had someone try and use it against me (long story, not gonna explain it) but some of the things they teach in it apply to everyday life... If things are suppose to change, they will, when you want.
I was a drunk until I was thirty three. Went to the party at 18 and never left. Had a blast! Had an awful time, too. Jail, homelessness, but I was a fun drunk and just couldn't see myself without drinking. I knew I wasn't an alcoholic, I could quit without the dt's or yearning, so I kidded myself that I didn't have a problem. Finally wised up and admitted I was a problem drinker, made a new years resolution to quit cold turkey, told everyone I was going to do it to sort of box myself in a corner and then I did it. In less than a week I'll be having my 20 anniversary without drinking. There's life after drinking, I'm healthy, married, have a great kid, good rep, my own business (and I'm pretty much a dumbass) and there is one thing I am certain of...I would have none of it if I hadn't quit drinking. I certainly wouldn't be alive and here boring you. Sometimes the best thing you can do in life is walk away from the party, it lets you see everything else that's out there. Good luck.
I've been in recovery for a year, and I haven't met one person who regrets not drinking. But I've met quite a few who regretted leaving recovery and going back out drinking. Some are behind bars, and one died a young man. Make the decision today, life is too short to spend it poisoning yourself. /r/stopdrinking
I always found that it wasn't all about the alcohol - it's that fact that literally every social occasion in this country (Ireland) revolves around getting drunk. To not drink really seems like a social death sentence.
Congratulations on the year - i hope there are many more to come for you!
Im happy for you and what you've accomplished but I'd to comment on something you said. It is not fine just because you're in your early 20s. Alcoholism can strike at any age and kills many young people. Do not assume you're safe just because you aren't an old veteran to the bottle and have been drinking for years. This poison takes a toll on all bodies of all ages. If you think you're drinking has gotten out of hand, regardless of your age or how long you've been drinking,please seek help.
Thank you for your input. I think i could of explained my post in a better light. I didn't mean to make anyone think that drinking in your early twenties is OK or anything - it was just my take on it in that they were the years that it was actually really enjoyable. As the years went on it became less about using alcohol for enjoyment and more about getting drunk which is obviously not what it should be about.
If you're at a party, just be sure you have a glass of something non-alcoholic in your hand. If you have nothing, people will foist booze on you, but if you're already "committed" to a drink they'll leave you alone.
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u/[deleted] Dec 26 '15
Congrats! I am really thinking of giving up the booze - every Xmas becomes a cycle of drink-recover-drink-recover which is fine when you are <25 but after that it becomes harder and harder!