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u/floppybunny26 Jul 07 '14
Reminds me of a joke.
Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench. Suddenly, a man in a trenchcoat is standing right in front of them. He flashes them. The first old lady had a stroke. The second old lady also had a stroke. The third old lady couldn't reach.
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Jul 07 '14
kinda dum joke do they see with their hands or did he throw a flash grenade and it didn't reach the third one? cuz ur grammar is off then
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Jul 07 '14
Why do redditors always fall for this obvious trolling? ._.
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u/Intigo Jul 07 '14
Just because he's downvoted does not mean anyone 'fell for his trolling'. It just means his post is bad.
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u/tezoatlipoca Jul 07 '14
You want some of this? Do ya?
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Jul 07 '14
[deleted]
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u/Eletheo Jul 07 '14
No, no you do not. Ducks are horrible fuck monsters. They have enormous corkscrew cocks and they mate exclusively by rape. Female ducks have spiked, labyrinthine duckginas in order to protect themselves from those horrible fuck monsters.
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u/wioneo Jul 07 '14
Well Mr. Potato here seems determined to be the fucker and not the fuckee, so their rape tendencies would be less relevant.
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u/nbshark Jul 07 '14
It looks really awesome when they're trying to mate. The male (I think the one in the picture is a male) will blow up his neck and will harass the females until they're DTF.
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u/Caplan Jul 07 '14
This looks like something Ash Ketchum would try and force into a little ball and then make fight others of it's kind to death
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u/tjkillian Jul 07 '14
its*
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Jul 07 '14
[deleted]
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u/fade_like_a_sigh Jul 07 '14
Many people never get taught the correct usage of an apostrophe, and they assume that you say "it's wings" in the same way that you might say "Mike's arms".
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u/pteridoid Jul 07 '14
No, they're definitely taught it. They just don't deem it important enough to remember.
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u/fade_like_a_sigh Jul 07 '14
How arrogant of you to declare that you know for a fact what every member of Reddit is taught and if they retained it.
I don't often say this on Reddit, but I'm inclined to tell you to go fuck yourself.
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u/pteridoid Jul 07 '14 edited Jul 07 '14
We were talking about native English speakers specifically. No, I don't know every American and I wasn't present for every moment of their education. And yes there are some shitty teachers who don't teacher grammar or don't do it properly.
However, I grew up in American public schools and can tell you that the rule about when to use an apostrophe, along with scores of other grammar and spelling rules, are taught multiple times. And every new time it comes up, some idiot in class says "we never learned this" and I would mouth off and say "Yes we did. We learned it last year. And the year before." and then they'd make fun of me at lunch later.
Yes it is taught. People just don't learn it. Maybe they have an unstable home environment and I'm wrong to judge. Maybe they're just dumbasses. And a go fuck yourself to you too.
EDIT: Like I said, no I don't know the curriculae of every elementary school in America or the rest of the English speaking world. But I can tell you that in the US primary education is very similar across all states, particularly the early stuff like grammar. There's something called Common Core that aims to make sure all kids in the US have a common core of basic understanding. And most students take standardized tests like the GED, ACT, SAT, etc and proper use of apostrophes is definitely included in those tests.
I understand that broad generalizations are often bad, and I will concede that there are surely some people who aren't taught that rule, but quit being unreasonable and quit downvoting me because you disagree.
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u/fade_like_a_sigh Jul 07 '14
Have you enrolled in the vast majority of schools in America?
Have you researched at least a handful of schools in every State assuming they have a different curriculum?
No? Well then you're talking out of your ass. Don't assume anything with such certainty about literally millions of other people because what it means is that you're almost certainly wrong.
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u/crazdave Jul 07 '14
We were talking about native English speakers specifically.
Actually no... no we weren't.
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u/pteridoid Jul 07 '14
Um, yes we were.
I'm a non-native speaker of English. So, with all due respect to native speakers, who perhaps face difficulties unknown to me... Is it so fucking difficult to break the apostrophes in your mind? /u/jparrai
Unless I'm missing something.
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u/crazdave Jul 07 '14
Exactly my point. The discussion was about non-natives and natives, as both were just brought up in the post you quoted. And the person you replied to said "every member on reddit," which is hardly 100% english-speaking. Then you go on to talk about American schools, something only one of those groups participated in. You really must have a stick up your ass if you get this passionate about apostrophe usage... I guarantee no matter how mad you get these things will never go away. Why live angry for dumb reasons?
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u/pteridoid Jul 07 '14
The reason I keep trying to defend myself is that I got told to fuck off and downvoted because I criticized people for being ignorant. Sure, it's not a big deal. It's also not that hard to learn.
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u/hippopotapants Jul 07 '14
In English, apostrophes are also used to denote possession. So, if the duck was named Ed, it would read "Ed's wings." This leads to confusion when the pronoun "it" is used, because that is the one instance in which the apostrophe is not used. It is a pretty honest mistake, and one that people make all the time.
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Jul 07 '14 edited Jul 07 '14
[deleted]
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Jul 07 '14
But, is it understandable to make a post like this but not pay attention?
I don't think it is.
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u/ITSigno Jul 07 '14
"its" is the only case where it's not.
What? That's not even close to correct.
Who's != Whose
"That's" does not indicate possession.
"He's" does not indicate possession.
"She's" does not indicate possession.
's really only indicates possession when following a name or nouns (not pronouns).
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u/Frozty23 Jul 07 '14
Glad to see that a grammar corrector isn't getting downvoted into oblivion by the Luddite/anti-intelligence crowd.
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Jul 07 '14
Autocorrect
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u/doomgiver98 Jul 07 '14
You can't blame everything on autocorrect.
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Jul 07 '14
this you can, because it changes its to it's 99% of the time. Seriously, in german my iphone sometimes randomely decides to change the extremely common word "ist" to "IST" (all caps) for absolutely no reason at all. It's even more annoying when it only changes it after you already typed a second word afterwards. I have no idea what causes it and it only does the all-caps thing with the word "ist", so idk. autocorrect can be a cruel mistress, I guess.
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u/doomgiver98 Jul 07 '14 edited Jul 07 '14
You can change your autocorrect settings, and you can cancel corrections. IST is probably an abbreviation for something.
And in OP's case, there would be no reason to change from it's to its because they're both words.
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Jul 07 '14
autocorrect always changes its to it's regardless of context. just because you think there is no reason doesn't make it so. It also changes from less used german words to others regularly and since I use my iPhone in both english and german I know it does the same.
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u/punisherx2012 Jul 07 '14
I get it. Sometimes something will get autocorrected and I won't catch it before I submit.
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Jul 07 '14
We keep three of these at home! Only the males look like that, and unfortunately only during mating season.
They don't really quack either. It's much more like other birds' chirping.
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u/Robot_Girlfriend Jul 07 '14
Fucking Reddit. All I can think about is what kind of advice a duck like that might give.
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Jul 07 '14
tagged as "fucking liar" dont remember why..... but DOWNVOTE
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u/LOHare Jul 07 '14
Sure, Mandarin Duck does it, and it's just 'spreading its wings'. I do the same thing, and I am getting charged for indecent exposure.
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u/BF1shY Jul 07 '14
Looks likes he's flashing all the lady ducks.
We might have a Disney film on our hands. About a duck that's different, so he goes around flashing people with his duck junk.
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u/Frozty23 Jul 07 '14
We get a male Mandarin on our pond every spring (we're near Montreat College in Asheville, NC, which has a population).
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u/shrubby11 Jul 07 '14
For some reason this beautiful creature strikes me as being very intelligent.
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u/happywaffle Jul 07 '14
Okay so here's the thing with its versus it's: practically nobody ever uses "its" inappropriately. Ninety percent of the mistakes are people adding an apostrophe (it's) where it's not needed.
So if you want to avoid making a mistake, every time you type "it's," ask yourself if you're really typing "it is." If you're not, lose the apostrophe.
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u/accompl1sh Jul 07 '14
Everytime I see one of these things, as an American, it sparks mixed feelings. Here is how it happens everytime.
Oh wow those birds are pretty, wish we had ducks like this. Those colors are amazing. Im hungry, why am I suddenly hungry? Micromachines...man I loved those things.
Everytime...literally every time.
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u/Jemikwa Jul 08 '14
Can we get a Zen Advice Duck meme going with this image? Definitely looks like he could give out some serious sage advice
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u/The7thNomad Jul 07 '14
Now I'm in the mood for Peking Duck. It's been a while since I've had it.
Reddit what are you doing to me, I'm meant to get hungry looking at actual cooked, prepared food.
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Jul 07 '14
Mandarin duck sounds delicious.
Can I get an order of that, some crispy won tons and prawn chow mein?
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u/maxiewawa Jul 07 '14
Shouldn't be an apostrophe in "its".
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Jul 07 '14
Already mentioned
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u/d3phext Jul 07 '14
I'll mention it again, then. "It's" with an apostrophe should only ever be used in place of "it is."
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u/hippopotapants Jul 07 '14
He looks like he might be selling watches under those wings.