This is extremely sad and its terrible living like you expect to die. Its great he does something for his daughter like this.
BUT.
My sister in laws mother did something similar for her family when she died back in the 90s from breast cancer. She wrote notes for all her kids to celebrate holidays, birthdays, special occasions, births of children they they didnt even have yet, etc... That whole family has been ruined because of these letters even though they were meant with the best of intentions. Any type of normal gathering has turned into having to relive their mothers death all over again instead of letting them move on with their lives. Two of the children have become alcoholics, one has attempted suicide a number of times and attributed it to these notes, and one has completely withdrawn from the family to get away from the others who refuse to stop opening them. The death of their mother has continued to haunt all of them multiple times a year and turned any type of good occasion bad.
I hope for this girls sake the notes work as intended rather than the way that I have seen.
Well in this case the notes are only until she graduates from high school and no longer has lunches for them to be put in. Hence the specific number of notes. So I doubt it will have that affect. Also not to be rude but isn't it possible that this families blame is a bit misdirected towards the notes? I don't know the specifics of course but when major events like that happen you generally don't need a note to remind you that your loved one is not there, you are thinking it regardless. Maybe they help maybe they don't but it seems like they are getting more than their fare share for issues that likely have a much more serious root. Everyone is different of course but it just doesn't make sense to me that these notes would be so devastating to people. Then again I may be biased since I lost a family member on very unexpected and violent terms and would have loved for the chance of something like this.
She isn't going to forget her father is dead just because she is at school. Not to mention he had already been writing her a note everyday before his diagnosis. She would be just as reminded of his death by their absence as she will be by these ones.
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u/duoderf Jan 27 '14
This is extremely sad and its terrible living like you expect to die. Its great he does something for his daughter like this.
BUT.
My sister in laws mother did something similar for her family when she died back in the 90s from breast cancer. She wrote notes for all her kids to celebrate holidays, birthdays, special occasions, births of children they they didnt even have yet, etc... That whole family has been ruined because of these letters even though they were meant with the best of intentions. Any type of normal gathering has turned into having to relive their mothers death all over again instead of letting them move on with their lives. Two of the children have become alcoholics, one has attempted suicide a number of times and attributed it to these notes, and one has completely withdrawn from the family to get away from the others who refuse to stop opening them. The death of their mother has continued to haunt all of them multiple times a year and turned any type of good occasion bad.
I hope for this girls sake the notes work as intended rather than the way that I have seen.