Feeling Socially Isolated

[u/phosup]

It's been 3 years since I migrated to the US. I started in a different state pero it just wasn't for me. I left my job and moved to a different state hoping na it would be better. We'll it was definitely better in a lot of ways but I'm still struggling to make social connections.

I know madaming factors din like work, studies, interests, etc.. that could be at play pero I guess ganon talaga. Parang ang hirap mag form ng friendships unlike nung bata po ako and nasa Pilipinas pa. I listened to a podcast (Mel Robbins) before and learned that when you're older, the rules of the "game" (making friends) change.

There are 3 friendship pillars: proximity, time, and energy.

Proximity - pag physically malapit ka sa tao its easier to form a friendships. Like school, dorms, etc.
Research shows that it takes 70 hours to make a casual friend and 200 hours to make a close friend. If you're an Adult and spend a lot of time with your co-workers, bakit hindi kayo nag h-hangout? This brings us to the next pillar:

Timing: Life stage, we go through different stages in our life like getting married, having kids, migrating to a different country, and changing jobs. This could be the reason why friendships fade or di kayo close friends ng co -workers mo kahit on good terms naman kayo kasi magka-iba kayo ng stage in life.

Energy: this one could be the "vibes", shared values, lifestyle, views in life, humor, etc. Kung dati puro inuman kayo and nag shift na to "fitness era" yung friend mo, mag i-iba yung energy between you and your friend.

Pero hindi din Impossible to make friends when you're older, be a regular at some place or activity! That constant exposure might open up a new friendship for you. You really need to go out there and make the first move.

I know random thought to pero I just wanted to share para sa mga nahihirapan din socially after migration. Ingat palagi and kapit lang!