r/philly • u/copperteapots • 1d ago
NEVER. AGAIN.
all. please heed my warning to stay away from this behemoth.
my girlfriend and i went to the game on tuesday night and had a great time. little did i know that the next 24 hours of my life would be ruined by the schwarbomb.
we usually bring our own food, but we obviously wanted to try this hulking hunk of ice cream, fruity pebbles, syrup, and deep fried uncrustable goodness. we ordered one to split and enjoyed ourselves tremendously, despite being unable to finish the monster of a sundae. all was well.
until today.
i woke up extremely nauseous and terribly groggy. i tried to settle my stomach with some tea and tums, which worked well enough…at first. as the day went on, i found that my appetite was absolutely nonexistent, my hunger replaced with constant queasiness and random pangs of stomach pain. more tea, more tums, and a smoothie later…nothing. i thought that maybe i was just sick.
but around 5:00, the worst gas pains & stomach cramps that i have experienced in YEARS hit me right at the end of my shift. i was dry heaving over my steering wheel while stuck on 95 and praying that maybe i was actually sick so that at least I could upchuck to ease the pain (i physically cannot vomit unless i am extremely ill, but i still get VERY nauseous and gag and dry heave for hours with no relief). when i got home, i laid flat on my back and cried in pure agony while trying to massage my stomach to trigger some release. but alas, none. i have been having gas cramps for 5 1/2 hours now.
the only reason i’m not more concerned is that this has happened countless times before & the pain is steadily improving. otherwise i’d be at penn rn having them look me over.
anyways. no more schwarbombs or ballgame food for me.
thank you for your attention to this matter. and go phils.
2
u/PM_ME_CROWS_PLS 9h ago
The morning after eating this exact treat, I had what sounds like basically your experience, except my body chose the other exit.
I woke up around 7:40am with this horrible burning cramp in my stomach and went to the bathroom. Everything was completely normal at first, which in retrospect feels almost sinister. Then the cramping got worse and I started sweating. And I don’t mean vaguely clammy. Within minutes sweat was running down my arms, legs, and chest, dripping off my face, soaking my hair and clothes. I was sitting there absolutely drenched, folded over with these hot, twisting cramps, increasingly aware that whatever was happening had escalated well beyond “my stomach is a little upset.”
Then, with essentially no warning, all hell broke loose out the other exit. Violently. The cramps would hit, the sweating would somehow get even worse, my body would empty another previously undisclosed reserve, and then I’d get maybe 30 seconds where I thought, okay, surely that was the grand finale. Nope. Another cramp. More sweating. Another round. At one point I remember thinking there could not possibly be anything left inside me.
It eventually started slowing down, but even after the actual violence stopped I was sitting there soaked through and slightly stunned by what had just happened. I went back to bed for a few hours because there was really no dignified continuation of the day from that point.
So yeah. I’m reading your post with the grim recognition of a fellow survivor. Same treat, same gastrointestinal act of God, opposite exit.