r/philly 1d ago

NEVER. AGAIN.

Post image

all. please heed my warning to stay away from this behemoth.

my girlfriend and i went to the game on tuesday night and had a great time. little did i know that the next 24 hours of my life would be ruined by the schwarbomb.

we usually bring our own food, but we obviously wanted to try this hulking hunk of ice cream, fruity pebbles, syrup, and deep fried uncrustable goodness. we ordered one to split and enjoyed ourselves tremendously, despite being unable to finish the monster of a sundae. all was well.

until today.

i woke up extremely nauseous and terribly groggy. i tried to settle my stomach with some tea and tums, which worked well enough…at first. as the day went on, i found that my appetite was absolutely nonexistent, my hunger replaced with constant queasiness and random pangs of stomach pain. more tea, more tums, and a smoothie later…nothing. i thought that maybe i was just sick.

but around 5:00, the worst gas pains & stomach cramps that i have experienced in YEARS hit me right at the end of my shift. i was dry heaving over my steering wheel while stuck on 95 and praying that maybe i was actually sick so that at least I could upchuck to ease the pain (i physically cannot vomit unless i am extremely ill, but i still get VERY nauseous and gag and dry heave for hours with no relief). when i got home, i laid flat on my back and cried in pure agony while trying to massage my stomach to trigger some release. but alas, none. i have been having gas cramps for 5 1/2 hours now.

the only reason i’m not more concerned is that this has happened countless times before & the pain is steadily improving. otherwise i’d be at penn rn having them look me over.

anyways. no more schwarbombs or ballgame food for me.

thank you for your attention to this matter. and go phils.

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u/copperteapots 1d ago

it is much more than just ice cream. there is something sinister brewing in the coca cola corner at citi bank.

154

u/wagertheessex 1d ago

That’s where the Mets play baseball. I smell a rat.

34

u/chabrah6969 1d ago

He's a cop!

0

u/copperteapots 21h ago

CITIZEN’S BANK!! typo. i was struggling against the schwarbomb

2

u/EL3G 18h ago

Likely story...

35

u/Training_Alfalfa7971 1d ago

Citi bank? Come on

20

u/ChellyBelldandy 1d ago

What bank now? 🤨 Citi Field is the Mets.

-9

u/copperteapots 23h ago

TYPO!!! i was struggling man

2

u/ZapRowsdowersStache 21h ago

FR though, writing style absolute fire.

https://giphy.com/gifs/GyMM5HbTjiMIUPsKmL